


In search of silver linings, we discovered gold

by Mimmi_ger



Series: Fools, Sinners, Liars [4]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: F/M, Female Harry Potter, Finally together, M/M, Rape, Teacher-Student Relationship, Trauma, coping with all the shit, gossiping, new conflicts, rose potter - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-18
Updated: 2018-07-15
Packaged: 2019-05-24 21:21:53
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 18
Words: 47,466
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14962394
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mimmi_ger/pseuds/Mimmi_ger
Summary: Rose and Severus finally are together and happy. Everything could be fine. Could. If it wouldn´t be for Bellatrix and Co.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hello! :)
> 
> Actually I would´ve uploaded yesterday, but football world cup jumped in between (does anyone watch that?) and then I was so tired...But now here it is: part 4.  
> Title borrowed of "Sinners" by Lauren Aquilina. As usual ;)
> 
> Thanks to mrsmalfoy08 for proofreading again what I wrote. It´s not always funny.

<<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>> 

It was almost impossible not to hear people whisper after the incident in the Great Hall and it didn´t help Rose a bit in controlling her fluttering nerves. She had never before been this nervous. Hermione tried her best to calm her but with barely any success.

“Oh Mione, what shall I do? What if he doesn´t ask me?” Rose whined for the hundredth time, at least.

“Really! Rose, it´s enough. Please! You already make me giddy with your anxiety. And if you don´t stop fidgeting I will never get your hair ready!” Hermione snapped.

“Yeah, you know what? Stop it!” With a harsh movement, she slapped Hermione´s hand aside and pulled all the small hairpins out which Hermione had stuck tediously in their respective places. Spinning around herself, she looked for a hair tie, slide or ribbon, anything to tame the mop of unruly hair into something acceptable for a ball. The first thing she found was her wand. Making a short shrift, Rose twisted her hair up into a bun and secured it with the wand.

“Oh, that´s an idea…” Hermione said and virtually disappeared in her trunk. After rummaging a little and shifting the content from one corner to the next, she held triumphantly two pencils up. Rose watched her sceptically, but her eyes gleamed as Hermione transfigured the pencils into silver hair sticks and handed them over to Rose to replace her wand with them.

Hermione arched an eyebrow at how easily Rose had destroyed her work and had replaced it with an amazingly casual but still elegant hairstyle.

“That looks beautiful. Just like you are: Wild and unruly but still somewhat graceful. You could have done this half an hour ago, though, and spared me a lot of unnecessary work.” Hermione brushed gently some loose curls away that fell softly around Rose´s face.

“Sorry?” Rose smiled apologetically and hugged her best friend. “But, now the dresses.” She turned to her wardrobe.

As they were finally ready, they looked in the mirror. Rose, slightly nervous, smoothed over her dress. It was dark violet with its chest part crossed from above her waist to form the straps. She´d decided to wear no jewellery except a pair of two simple, small silver ear studs.

Hermione shifted and twisted to examine herself from all sides. Her hair fell, thanks to Sleekeazy´s Hair Potion, smooth and silky over her shoulder. Her dress was midnight-blue with a black lace waistband.

They smiled at each other and Hermione nodded her approval.

 “I think today I´m glad that I don´t have to wear a bra,” Rose chuckled. Then she sighed and gazed worriedly at her reflection.

Hermione turned and held her by the shoulders.

“Stop worrying. It will be fine.”

“And if not?” Rose couldn´t stop fretting. It was not her usual behaviour but nothing concerning Severus had ever been usual. Or easy, by the looks of it.

“If not, he´s an idiot. But you have a lot of good friends who are there for you. Always.”

“Thank you!”

“Yes. Now let´s go. The boys are waiting.”

***

“Oh, holy shit!” Ron announced as Rose and Hermione came down from the girls-dormitory.

“Wow, you look beautiful! Would be a shame if not a single man falls for you tonight.” Draco winked with a smirk. Rose blushed and fidgeted with her hands but then took gladly Draco´s offered arm and the four friends went down to the Great Hall.

As they entered the hall they stopped and looked around.

There was a lot pink frippery and glitter. Animated hearts flew like butterflies through the air and cupids shot arrows across the room which turned into rose-scented smoke and dissolved.

“Looks like Dumbledore decorated it personally,” Ron whispered and laughing they went over to a bar table and waited.

At 18.30 it seemed like all students where there and everyone gazed expectantly around.

Dumbledore stepped eventually on a small podium. His robes were today in a bright purple with a golden border of tiny hearts.

“Welcome! You look gorgeous everyone! I´ll make it short. Tonight I´ll expect us to have fun and enjoy ourselves. For your physical well-being you´ll find a buffet over there. For your musical well-being we have the “Wizardly Muggle”, don´t be shy and use the dancefloor.  And now, enjoy yourselves!”

They applauded and the music started.

“Come on, let´s have a look at the buffet.” Ron already peered excited over to the food.

“Ron, how can one just think constantly of food?” Hermione asked but Ron shrugged and was already on his way.

“I can´t…” Rose said. “I don´t feel well.”

“Just have a look,” Hermione urged her.

“Have you seen him?”

“Rose, look at me. Breathe. Calm down. Enjoy the night.” Draco´s gaze was steady and sincere. After a moment, he took her hand and directed her over to Ron. The buffet consisted mostly of nibbles. So they filled two plates and walked back to their table where Hermione coaxed Rose into eating something.

“Rose, why don´t you stop looking around hectically?” Ron asked after watching her for a while.

“I can´t…”

“You want to dance?” Draco asked and smiled. Rose looked at him, hesitating but finally nodded. On their way to the dance floor Draco whispered, “Now you can look for him without getting whiplash.”

“Thank you!”

“You´re welcome.” He smirked and turned her a few times around herself before he pulled her close and kissed her temple. “Relax.”

Dancing with Draco helped her indeed to calm down and she relaxed tremendously until she saw Severus halfway through the second song. He stood at one side, half in the shadow of a cupid-statue. Like always, he was completely in black, but instead of his usual billowing robe and knee-length jacket he wore a dinner jacket, though still with high neck and cravat.

“He´s here,” Rose squeaked and promptly missed a step. Draco tightened his arm around her waist and slowed his step until Rose found her balance again.

“Calm down. Just go on. No need to panic.”

Draco led her through one more song until she felt calm enough to go back to their table and wait for Severus to come over.

“You looked great together,” Ron beamed. “Would you mind to dance with me too?” he added, apparently embarrassed, but Draco pulled him into his arms and kissed him thoroughly before he shoved him to the dancefloor.

“Wow, so it just needs one Draco Malfoy to make Ron dance,” Hermione giggled. Rose joined in, though meekly. They both remembered all too well the fight they´d had with Ron at the Yule Ball in their fourth year. It had taken him ages to pluck up the courage to ask Rose to go with him. Sadly for Ron, Rose had already agreed to go with Lucas Fraser, a Ravenclaw who had been in his last year at Hogwarts. A gentle boy with soft brown eyes and equally soft lips, as Rose found out on their stroll through the garden.

Ron had then asked Hermione, but she, too, had already a date. So poor Ron went finally all alone to the ball and refused the whole evening to smile or to dance but sat moody on a chair and drank butterbeer after butterbeer. Both Rose and Hermione had tried to ask him to dance, but after several attempts he had shouted at the girls and stormed away, sulking.

Not long after Draco and Ron had invaded the dancefloor, Neville shuffled over and asked them with a shy smile for a dance.

“It´s ok. You go first.” Hermione nodded and sent Rose with a shooing motion of her hands away.

Rose was happy for the opportunity to get her mind further off ‘her problem’ and accepted.  She danced after Neville the whole evening with a lot of people. Between the dances she made sure to stand long enough on the side, so that Severus had the chance to ask her. But nothing happened. Rose saw that he peered over, though, but not once he even moved away from his position next to the statue. That is, until he suddenly was gone and Rose started to panic before she found him next to Professor McGonagall.

“Rose, would you dance with me?” Remus smiled and startled Rose back into reality and out of her small anxiety attack.

“What? Oh, yes, sure.” She smiled.

“You look beautiful tonight,” Remus said as he guided her over the dancefloor. “And worried.”

“I can´t help it.” Rose grumbled. Remus gave her a short, pointed look down his nose. For a moment they danced in silence but then Remus said, “Everyone has noticed that you look around all the time. They start thinking about it and Lavender watches you closely. You need to be more cautious. And I don´t think you should set your hopes too high that he´ll come to you. No matter what you´ve asked of him, Severus is not one who likes to be in public like this.” Expertly Remus twisted her away at the end of his sentence and pulled her then close again. Rose chuckled. Remus tightened his arm slightly around her waist and Rose leant with a sigh against his chest. After this first dance, she urged Remus into another. What was actually no effort at all because he complied readily and with a huge smile.

But as the evening got later, the restlessness returned. Rose was on edge and then the band announced they would play only two more songs before the ball was over. Her eyes darted through the room, but Severus ignored her searching gaze studiously and instead looked after Professor Dumbledore who strolled, smiling here and smiling there, over to Rose.

“Rose my dear girl, would you honour an old man with a dance?” he asked with a boyish grin. Rose smiled back and let him guide her on the dance floor. She gave finally up on waiting for Severus. He would not come over. She had to accept it and find a strategy to survive their tutoring lessons despite a broken heart. 

The last chords of the current song played and she decided to go up to Gryffindor tower and to bed. Dumbledore kissed her hand and smiled radiantly at her.

“Thank you very much,” he said but looked over her shoulder, his eyes twinkling with mad satisfaction, “Ah, Severus, what a pleasure to see you on the dancefloor, finally.”

***

He would not go. He couldn´t. This whole ball was a mad farce, initiated by this madman who was in charge of this school which was in itself not better than any lunatic asylum.

Severus paced restless through his quarters, raking his hands through his hair over and over.

But if he didn´t go Rose would take his absence as a rejection. He didn´t want to reject her. Heavens, how could it be so difficult to do the right thing? To do what he wanted?

Bellatrix was always a threat. He could accept it, actually he already did. But it didn´t diminish his other fear. Severus knew that Rose wanted him, at least for the moment. What if she finally decided after a few weeks she wasn´t interested anymore? Or even worse, what if she noticed that the hunt was far more thrilling than being with him?

Severus stopped in front of the mirror. Really, what had he to give her? He was nothing special. Most women thought him not even attractive. And he knew he was anything but handsome, especially after a long day in the dungeons, bathed in potions fumes. It really was no wonder his hair was often greasy and his clothes reeked pungent. It was better of course since he had overcome his teenage dislike for regular showers.

Severus sneered and chuckled darkly. He´d been quite different in his youth, some would say a freak, even amongst his fellow Slytherins. Even though he´d outgrown most of those adolescent flaws, he had a lot new ones, two of them his bright character and his dark past.

He sighed and turned away from his reflection. Despite his behaviour over the last months, Rose wanted him and had even set an ultimatum to get him.

Dumbledore had said he should allow happiness in his life. Not to mention the telling-off from Narcissa.

Yes, he wanted happiness and damn he wanted Rose, but he couldn´t stop to fear the rejection which he was sure would come eventually.

Once again Severus´ gaze flicked to the clock. He was already late. Rose waited for him.

But did she really?

Severus gazed at the door and thought about everything between himself and Rose. There was no reason to be unsure, right? Rose loved him and wanted to be with him. She´d repeated it again and again over weeks. She wouldn’t suddenly change her mind.

Gods, he acted like a sissy. Determined he slipped into his dinner jacket and buttoned it.

“Goddamn it!” he snapped as he was already finished just as his hands found a routine. This silly garment had for sure not enough buttons. He blew his breath out in an exasperated puff and rubbed over his face. Briefly he considered taking a sip of a calming draught, but disposed of that idea. That was just too ridiculous.

Much later than from the Headmaster expected, Severus slipped into the Great Hall and stopped near a statue. He wouldn´t be seen easily but could oversee everything himself, a perfect place for him.

He scanned the gathered students but couldn´t make Rose out until he saw her dancing with Draco.

“Oh, dear Merlin!” Severus gasped. Rose looked stunning with her hair tied up and the colour of the dress made her eyes brighter than usual. It was as if she was surrounded by a light glamour.

He couldn´t - for the sake of his sanity - take his eyes from her. And still he could not work up the courage to go to her, though he was positively seething the longer he watched her dancing with various boys.

Then Rose danced with the wolf which sent a flare of jealousy through Severus. One he hadn´t experienced the whole evening and that made him decide to show more of his presence. Especially as Lupin shifted his hand on Rose´s lower back and rested it much too close to her bottom, for Severus´ liking.

“Severus! Where have you been?” Minerva asked rather tight lipped.

“I observed the merry festivities from the background,” he drawled, showing perfectly clear his disgust about the ball. He crossed his hands behind his back and positioned himself in a way he could watch the dancefloor.

“We were just wondering about all the talking about you and Miss Potter,” Flitwick squeaked from somewhere around Severus´ waist.

“Is that so?” Severus asked and raised an eyebrow but without diverting his gaze from Rose.

“No one with at least one working eye can deny that you act different around each other.” Sprout chuckled and gazed merrily in the direction Severus looked at.

Severus, noticing that Sprout had recognised what he did, turned his head and smirked.

“Pomona, I spend at request of Albus since last July at least three days a week with this girl…We simply had to rearrange our demeanour.”

“You seem to enjoy her company,” Minerva said pointedly. Severus sighed inwardly. Minerva was too perceptive for her own good.

“I can´t deny that Miss Potter changed drastically and is by far more grown up today. However, I´m not overly amused about this silly gossiping in this school.” Severus hoped dearly his colleagues would finally stop with their own nosiness, but of course he hoped in vain.

“I´ve seen you for the first time in my life care about someone beside yourself,” Remus chimed in as he joined the group.

“What means?”

“Wednesday, as you knocked Rose down.”

Severus sighed but shot Remus a nasty glare. The bastard knew perfectly well what really was between Rose and him. Why had he to add to the speculations of the staff?

“You obviously tend to forget that I am only human, too, what includes, as far as I know, occasional stirring of emotions,” he snapped icily but added as Remus opened his mouth to reply, “And Rose could have been severely hurt the way her head hit the floor. I just made sure I inflicted her not with more pain than…” Severus bit his tongue, literally, and forced himself to shut up already. Remus´ smirked mischievously.

“Why Severus, I´m really glad you´re in possession of feelings. For a long time, I was not sure that you even possess a heart, given your recent argumentation to a certain matter,” Remus raised teasingly an eyebrow, but his voice carried a not so small amount of warning. 

Severus inhaled sharply, the insult wriggling already on the tip of his tongue, ready to fall, but Minerva stopped any retort.

“Gentlemen, really!”

Both Severus and Remus knew the glare they received only too well from their own time as students and so shut up.

Silently Severus returned his attention to the dancefloor. 

The evening ticked away rapidly and Severus realised there were just two more songs and his chance would be over.

Pensive, he watched Dumbledore dancing with Rose. The entire evening, she had looked for him, but now she didn´t. That was not good. He had to act, if not now, then never! It was literally his last chance to yield to her request and bury his silly fears.

Severus straightened and, with the whispers of his colleagues in his back, approached Rose.

“Ah, Severus, what a pleasure to see you on the dancefloor, finally”, Dumbledore said. “Do you want to dance with Miss Potter? It´s the last chance.” His eyes twinkled amused.

“Obviously,” Severus said simply. 


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fluff... :)

<<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>> 

Dumbledore released Rose´s hand with a smile and gave it to Snape. Not simply letting go of Rose, no. He took her hand and laid it inside Severus´ before he curled Severus´ fingers around Rose´s and left with a satisfied nod.

Swallowing, Rose looked up. She was pale and her lips were slightly parted. Severus gave her a small smile, trying desperately to calm his racing heart.

“Please, dance with me,” he said seriously. Rose took a shuddering breath and smiled.

The band played “Always on my mind”.

“Ah, Elvis…” Severus whispered.

Slowly they danced to the music, like they had done on his birthday. There were only a few couples left, one of them Ron and Draco, but around the dancefloor were lots of prying faces, even the teachers looked curious: Severus Snape dancing, with no other than Rose Potter and that with all the existing rumours?

“Isn´t that heart-warming?” Dumbledore mumbled to Minerva, who only raised an eyebrow, her suspicions peaking. Her lips tightened into a puckered pout as Severus leant closer, whispering into Rose´s ear.

“You look mesmerising tonight!” Severus said lowly.

“You had obviously enough time to observe this and wreck my nerves almost to my personal breakdown,” Rose groused but with no fervour behind it.

“I wanted to come to you, but I couldn´t find the courage. I was too nervous.”

“Insecure? You?” Rose whispered but laughed surprised, what brought only more gazes upon them.

“When it´s about feelings, yes. You should know that I´m insecure.” Severus sighed and sang in a low whisper alongside the band, “Y _ou were always on my mind. You were always on my mind. Tell me, Tell me that you´re sweet love hasn´t died. Give me, give me one more chance to keep you satisfied. Satisfied…”_

Severus´ singing had sent shivers down Rose´s body and even as he stopped, she felt still the low vibration of his voice.

“Do you accept my answer?” Severus asked finally and gazed seriously but even more apprehensive down to her.

“I really had given up any hope that you´d come to me and ask. I´m glad you proved me wrong. Which means: Yes, I do accept it. Jeez, how could I not?” Rose gave Severus a brilliant smile but swallowed heavily and had to take one or two calming breaths. The only thing more perfect right now would be if he could kiss her. But, without doubt, that had to wait until they were alone given all the people watching them.

As if sensing her thoughts, Severus leant closer. His lips brushed her ear as he whispered, “I hope you know that I hate to be on show like this. Besides, everyone will gossip even more viciously about us.”

“I know. But I don´t want to deal with it now. Ignore them.”

“That´s hardly possible with them surrounding us and staring,” Severus muttered but tried his best to block out everything but Rose. He slightly rearranged his hand on her back, shifting it further down onto her lower back and bringing them in more contact. Definitely more contact than should be allowed in public, but Severus found the closer Rose was pressed up against him, the less he had free capacity to focus on anything else.

“I´d wish this song would never end,” Rose sighed and closed her eyes.

But of course the song ended eventually and they had to take a step apart, though both did it only reluctantly.

“Thank you for this dance,” Rose whispered and smiled as Severus implied a bow.

“I´ll see you tomorrow.” Without any further glance around the hall, he left with long strides for his private chambers.

Without Severus to hold her, Rose felt giddy and unsure of her balance and was unspeakable grateful as Hermione rushed to her and pulled her on her elbow aside.

“What did he say?”

“Not so much. Our deal was that he asks me for a dance and he did.” Sudden realisation hit Rose. “Oh Mione, he did!” Rose felt tears prickling in her eyes. Severus had danced with her. He wanted her.

“Oh no, not here! Come!” Hermione said firmly and dragged her out of the room and away from all the staring faces and the increasing whispering.

Around the closest corner, Rose fell to her knees and sobbed.

Draco and Ron followed them hurriedly. Ron looked confused and Draco and Hermione worried as Rose buried her face in her hands and cried with high-pitched, hiccoughing sobs.

“What´s wrong with her?” Ron whispered, though it didn´t really matter as no one would´ve heard him over Rose´s crying. She sobbed so hard that her whole body shook back and forth.

“Oi, this damned, greasy bastard, when I…”

“Stop it Ron. Maybe you could just go back and make sure that no one else comes around now. Please!” Draco said and crouched down beside Rose. He put a hand on her back and tried to comfort her. Hermione stood nearby and looked utterly helpless.

Suddenly, out of nowhere, Remus came.

“It´s not like it looks!” Hermione reassured him.

“Whatever, let´s go to my office and out of view. I think even without her crying the whole situation has more attention than necessary.”

“Come Rose, let´s go somewhere more private,” Draco said. But Rose didn´t move. And as all coaxing and pleading was ineffective, Remus lifted her up and carried her to his office.

But even there Rose won´t stop crying.

“Hermione, what´s wrong? Could you, please, enlighten me?” Remus asked after a newly failed attempt to calm Rose and make her talk.

“Uhm…She and Snape had a deal. He had to decide if he´d give them a try or not. If he would ask her for a dance tonight it would mean yes. And well, they danced…obviously.”

“I know about it. But why is she so upset?”

“I have not the faintest whiff of an idea.” Hermione shrugged helplessly. “She said they haven´t spoken a lot during the dance. So, it can´t be that, can it?”

Hermione, Remus and Draco exchanged puzzled glances.

“There´s one who could help. Severus,” Remus considered thoughtfully.

“That´s a great idea. I´ll go and fetch him,” Draco volunteered and left in a flurry.

He knocked repeatedly on his godfather´s door but gained no reply so finally he shouted.

“Snape! By Merlin´s beard! Open up!”

“Draco! Restrain yourself!” Severus barked. He had been already on his way to bed when the turmoil outside his door alarmed him.

“It´s Rose. She´s in Lupin´s office and she´s crying and won´t stop.”

Without a second of hesitation and only in trousers and a long-sleeved shirt Severus hurried past Draco who had problems catching up.

Severus didn´t bother with knocking and just stormed in the office.

Remus and Hermione gathered around Rose who was indeed still sobbing uncontrollably.

Remus looked up and just shrugged but stepped away. Severus knelt down and took one of Rose´s hands.

“Rose. Look at me. What is it?” No one in the room had ever before heard Snape speaking so gentle.

Rose´s eyes were hooded with tears as she looked up. But instead of calming, she cried only harder. Severus glanced around but met only equally puzzled faces. He tried for some time to calm Rose by stroking her back, though it became quickly apparent that this had no effect. At his wit´s end Severus stood up and rubbed over his neck. Then he had an idea.

“I´ll be back in a minute.” He rushed out of the room and through the castle, all the way cursing about not wearing his robes.

He came back through the Floo, they really should´ve thought about it earlier. He held a small vial in his hands, cautiously bringing it to Rose´s lips.

“Here, that will help,” he assured her softly. He sat back down beside Rose and rubbed again soothing circles on her back. After a few moments Rose grew quiet. She swallowed heavy, but no more tears streamed down her face. Only her trembling bottom lip showed how upset she still was.

An awkward silence followed. Hermione and Draco exchanged a look and retreated slowly in the direction of the Gryffindor tower. Remus left to his private area, but let the door ajar, just in case.

“Can you tell me what happened?” Severus brushed the last tears off Rose´s cheeks and watched her concerned.

“You danced with me,” Rose whispered.

Severus inclined his head and raised an eyebrow. Had he still ruined it in the end?

“I´ve been so tense all the time and I was so afraid you wouldn´t give in, especially not after I virtually threatened you. I could only see me losing this fight. But you danced with me,” Rose ended quietly and lowered her gaze to her hands in her lap.

“I fought with myself earlier. But I considered everything you´ve said the last weeks and also what Albus has said. And ultimately there had never been a decision to make. It was out of question I would dance with you. I´m still afraid Bellatrix will harm you. But between living with this fear and living without you, I know now I will always choose you.” Severus took one of Rose´s hands in his and lifted it to his lips. Tenderly he kissed her knuckles, one after the other. Rose gazed over to him with huge, astonished eyes.

Severus noticed her hesitation. He cupped her cheek with his free hand and slid closer. Their knees touched but otherwise their position was awkward, with their upper bodies twisted for being able to look at each other.

“Rose, believe me. I mean it. I made my decision and I won´t take it back. I want to be with you, with everything belonging to it. And you were right.” Severus swallowed. “Bellatrix does matter, but actually, I´m more afraid you´ll leave me for someone else, some incredibly handsome young man…” he whispered and closed his eyes.

“I love you,” Rose whispered, her voice still hoarse from crying.

“Rose…” Severus leant forward and captured her lips in a soft, relieved kiss. Rose shifted. She knelt on the sofa and wrapped her arms around Severus´ neck. She still couldn’t really believe that this was happening, finally, but she was more than willing to accept it and to show Severus how sincere she was with her choice for him.

Severus´ arms came around her and pulled her closer until she had no other choice as to crawl in his lap. Their kiss grew more passionate. Rose gasped softly and then flinched.

Next door, something had fallen with a crash to the floor and had seemingly not survived its landing. At least if Remus´ clamoured string of blasphemous curses was something to judge by. His vile language seemed to sort rather ill with the usually so calm and collected man. Though Rose knew that, like so often, you shouldn´t judge a book by its cover and Remus had been not for nothing part of the Marauders.

However, the spell was broken and Rose slipped sheepishly from Severus´ lap. They looked at each other and Severus chuckled lowly.

“Also a way to end things.”

“I really hope you only mean the kiss,” Rose said but with higher spirits than before. She could barely contain her grin.

Severus wriggled his eyebrows, something that was so out of place with his usual permanent scowl that Rose couldn´t help but laugh out loud. At this, Remus poked his head around the door. 

“Feeling better?”

“Definitely. And you?” Rose asked back.

“Oh certainly. Just dropped the tea pot.” Remus threw a withering look over his shoulder but grinned as he looked back to Rose and Severus. “I´m glad you finally sorted this out. You two are real drama queens.”

“Are we, yes? Maybe we should discuss your pitiful, lovesick sighs from last year?” Severus needled with raised eyebrows. But Remus ignored the bait and only huffed.

“Please, feel free to discuss this at length. I´m going to bed,” Rose said and stood up.

Severus followed immediately. He pecked her briefly on the lips, not comfortable with the audience, and then hurried to the door and out of sight with nothing more than a last nod to Remus.

“Thank you. For everything.” Rose smiled and embraced Remus.

“I´m always here for you. If you need an open ear or just a quiet place, just come to me.” He returned the embrace and then sent her to her common room, reminding her that it was already well after midnight.


	3. Chapter 3

<<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>> 

Rose stirred in her sleep. Her unconscious mind had the vague feeling that someone was observing her. So Rose woke grudgingly after far too little sleep. She cracked an eye open and found herself nose to nose with Dobby, staring unblinkingly down at her.

Only in the last moment Rose suppressed a squeak and scurried away, grabbing for her glasses.

"Good morning, Rose Potter!” The elf beamed.

"If you say so...What time is it?" Rose grumbled.

"Is seven Miss," Dobby answered dutifully and definitely too cheerful for this hour.

Rose groaned. That made a total of 3 hours sleep, though she felt like it would´ve been only a half, one at the most.

"Why are you here?"

"Professor Snape sends Dobby to give you that and to make sure you read it in time," Dobby squeaked and gave her a note.

_Rose,_

_Come to my study at 8._

_We can have breakfast together._

_Severus_

 

"Dobby, please tell him I'm on my way."

"Yes, Rose Potter." With a popping sound, he vanished. Rose groaned. Of course she was happy that Severus wanted to see her so quickly and was obviously eager to spend more time than usual with her, but her bed was warm and cosy and so much closer than Severus right now. And she was still so tired. It was a rather short fight before her eyes fell close again. Briefly before sleep reclaimed her, she thought that she would go up in 10 minutes, 20 at latest. 

"Damn!" Rose muttered at eight. She should have known that she wouldn´t wake up in time. Hurriedly and as quiet as possible, she rummaged through her trunk and dressed on her way down to the common room. Halfway through it, she doubled back and hastened into the bathroom, brushed her teeth and eyed with growing trepidation her hair that looked like birds had nested in it. Combing her hands through the tangled locks, she twisted them into a knot and tied it up again. She considered for a split-second her contact lenses but discarded the idea quickly. She didn´t bother with them most of the time, anyway. As fast as possible without running, she made her way to the dungeons.

At her knock, the door flew open, immediately.

"I'm sorry. I didn´t get a lot of sleep and then Dobby perched suddenly over me and..."

"It's ok. You're here. That's enough." Severus hushed her and pulled her inside, dragging her into his quarters. Only when he had closed the door behind them, he pulled her in a strong embrace. Rose smiled and looked up. Their gazes met and Severus closed the gap between them, kissing her like a starving man and only gradually softening the kiss until it became all sweet and tender.

"Good morning," he whispered against her lips after endless minutes of kissing.

"Good morning," Rose smiled and all remnants of sleepiness were like blown away. That was what she had hoped over endless months how it could be.

"Are you hungry?"

"Not really. I need some time for waking up before I can eat anything."

"I see. And tea? Or coffee?" Severus asked but had still not let go of Rose.

"Coffee sounds great." She yawned and gave in to the urge to lean against Severus. She felt his hands warm on her back and sighed contently. If he´d suggest to crawl back into bed, combined with a lot of cuddling, Rose would be the last one with objections.

"When did you go to bed?" Severus asked. One of his hands had found its way to her neck and kneaded the tense muscles gently.

"Hmm, around 4?"

Severus chuckled lowly and asked with a trace of disbelieve, "What were you doing so late?"

"Hermione had cleared the common room and Draco had some butterbeer so we curled up in front of the fire and talked."

“I see.”

They gazed at each other for a while before Rose spoke again.

"Can you kiss me again? Just to be sure that I'm not dreaming." It was still entirely too surreal that she had a relationship with him now. But she stopped fretting about it as his lips met hers again.

This kiss developed reverse from the one before. It started with slow, little pecks and progressed into teeth-clashing, tongue-battling passion. Severus´ hands roamed over Rose´s arms and back. With one hand on her lower back, he pressed her stronger against him, while the other caressed her neck but sneakily descended further down until it reached her breasts. Rose gasped softly and that was when Severus broke the kiss.

“We should keep it slow,” he panted breathless.

“You mean like Halloween?” Rose smirked and saw Severus actually blushing.

“Please don´t remind me of that,” he groaned.

But Rose stretched up and pressed a kiss on Severus´ lips, whispering against his mouth, “I like thinking about it. In fact, I dreamed a lot about those few minutes. Have you never?”

“Dreamed about it?” Merlin, and how often he had dreamed about it. “Of course, but that doesn´t mean we have to rush things now.”

“No. I hope we have loads of time to explore,” she said with a grin, adding, “You said something very interesting about coffee…”

Severus smirked and disappeared into his kitchen. Rose followed him and shortly after both walked with a cup of strong, hot coffee over to the seating area in front of the fire. Rose sat on the sofa and peered over to Severus in his armchair. She frowned and pursed her lips.

“Oi, don´t sit so far away…”

With a sigh he rose out of his armchair and walked over, taking a seat beside her.

“Better?” he asked and looked at her expectantly.

“Wait.” Rose rearranged herself until she sat between his legs, her back resting against his chest. “Now it´s better.” She closed her eyes, playing with his fingers. Severus had such beautiful hands. They were strong but slender with long fingers and they were surprisingly soft, though always slightly stained with remnants of potions and ingredients and on his right index and thumb was red ink from his constant essay-marking. Idly she drew circles on his palm and stroked over his fingers.

“We still need to talk about some things,” Severus said softly and took her hand, stopping her fiddling.

“Now?” Rose groaned. The man had a perfect timing to destroy a beautiful moment.

“Now.”

Rose straightened and looked expectantly in his eyes, though curling her lips to make clear she was not amused about his distraction.

“Stop sulking. It´s important,” Severus said but stalled whatever he wanted to say to steal another kiss from Rose´s lips, dissolving her pout. As she smiled again he went on, “I´m sure you agree with me that we need to be extremely cautious. I think after last night even those who haven´t believed the gossip so far will start watching our every step.” Rose agreed with a terse nod. “Aside from that I´m still your teacher. It is without question that our relationship will have no influence on your grades. Concerning your extra lessons, I anticipate that you observe one rule. It is simple so even you will manage the otherwise impossible.” He smirked at his little jab but frustrating enough he knew it was only too true. Rose and rules didn´t go well together. “When you´re here, you´ll work first and only when you´re finished we are a couple. Understood?”

“Oh my, rules,” Rose sighed in played exasperation but quickly added, “Fine. But we´ll see how long you sustain yourself before you crumble.” She giggled.

“You little minx! Don´t you dare use my weakness against me,” Severus chuckled but tightened his arms around her, pulling her close again.

Rose settled against his chest, sighing contently.

“You know what? You looked fantastic yesterday. Suited you very much, your attire. Looked far less like dungeon bat.” She laughed.

“Dungeon bat, huh?”

Still chuckling, Rose closed her eyes. She´d wished for nothing more than this here over the last weeks and now it felt like a dream coming true. Even Severus seemed far more relaxed with the situation than Rose had expected he would, but obviously he only had to make the decision and after following it through, all problems of the recent past seemed non-existent anymore. Suddenly she sat up, startling Severus out of his own, content musing.

“Severus?” She knelt between his legs and laid both hands on his chest, staring intently down at him.

“Yes?”

“It´s real, isn´t it?”

“What do you mean?” Severus frowned.

“You and me. It´s not just a dream or a very, very, very bad joke from you, is it?”

“Does this feel like a dream?” He touched her cheek, tracing the shape of her lips with his thumb. “And do you really think, now that I can have it, I would make a joke of this?” He kissed her.

“Hopefully not,” Rose whispered against his lips and raked her fingers through Severus´ hair down to his neck before she met his mouth for another kiss. Just to make sure.

***

“How was your day?” Hermione asked as Rose entered the common room.

“Exhausting,” she said with an ambiguous grin that melted into an annoyed scowl as she looked around and found nearly everyone staring at her. She slumped deflated down next to Hermione, her happy exhilaration gone. 

“Tell, how´s the gossip?”

“Oh, you know not **that** bad actually. Most of the students whisper, but only a few are really mean. Actually it´s only...Anyway. You shouldn´t care what they say,” Hermione said but avoided to look at Rose.

“Oh come on! What has Lavender done?”

Hermione peered over to Rose but seeing her sinking mood she spluttered, “I overheard Lavender at breakfast as she speculated that ‘Snape needs urgently someone to bang’ given the fact that he ‘nearly drooled all over his fancy outfit’ as he saw you yesterday. Well, and that…that she swears that she saw him ‘leaving with a boner’ after your dance,” she quoted and still looked everywhere but at Rose.

“Wow that is…wow. I´m not sure I have any words for this woman.” Rose shook her head and then looked once again round. “Where are our boys?” She thought it was safer to change the topic and now finally Hermione gazed at her, frowning in concentration but blatantly obvious more than thankful for the distraction.

“Hm, haven´t seen them in a while,” Hermione said but gazed over to the stairs, leading to the boys dormitory.

“Ok, maybe then I don´t want to know too exactly.” Rose grinned and then frowned surprised as Ginny flopped down in the chair next to her. She groaned pitiful and wore a matching suffering expression.

“Ginny? Are you all right?” Rose asked cautiously.

“Yes…No, I´m not. I…You know, there is someone I like but I have no idea what to do.”

Hermione looked quizzically up and exchanged a brief glance with Rose who only shrugged.

“It´s Neville,” Ginny admitted sheepishly. “But he doesn´t even know that I exist.”

"Didn´t he dance with you?" Hermione frowned.

"Yes," Ginny replied miserably.

"Why don't you go and speak with him? You know you can always talk to Neville," Rose said and already scanned the room for her classmate.

"Oh Rose, if it only were that simple," Ginny groaned and hid her face behind her hands, adding muffled, “I saw him kissing Luna.”

“But you could speak with him anyway. Maybe it wasn´t what you think it was,” Hermione threw in. Rose nodded, but Ginny gazed through her spread finger and shook her head.

“I can´t. I´ll only make a fool of myself.”

"Ginny, just do it. Or I´ll do it for you." Rose had it originally meant as a push for Ginny but now the other girl looked hopeful up.

"You would do that?"

Rose sighed. Well, that was a great example how things backfired sometimes.

"When you don't feel like talking to probably the gentlest male in the entire castle...Yes, I´ll talk to him for you."

"You are the best," Ginny beamed and threw her arms around Rose´s neck, hugging her fiercely.

“Yeah, it´s ok. You don´t have to strangle me right away. I´d like to live a little longer, you know?”

Ginny let go of her but gazed at Rose with a strange, frowning pout.

“Yeah, I guess you like to live longer. Considering yesterday.”

“Yesterday?” Rose asked though she knew perfectly well what Ginny meant. Actually she had only waited for the other girl to steer their conversation in that direction.

“Honestly Rose! You danced with Snape and think no one thinks that´s strange?”

“Yeah, well, we only danced, right?”

“It´s Snape!” Ginny emphasized. “Even I was shocked, to be honest. Everyone´s in a tizzy. Merlin, even the teachers looked flabbergasted. Except Dumbledore. He grinned like a Cheshire cat.” Ginny bounced excited up and down in her chair, her earlier sore mood was clearly gone. “However, I know that you and Snape are close and after your whole reactions over Christmas I guess you´re even closer than you want everyone to know. What I really can understand. I wouldn´t want anyone to know how much is true of the speculations. But gossip´s mad today. Everyone blabs about you and Snape. And I can´t blame them...Gossip was already really crazy shit before yesterday, but Lavender now has a point. There's no one who doesn't believe her.” Ginny eyed Rose and her reaction carefully and Rose had indeed her hands full of concealing her fear. She couldn´t let everyone find out about her relationship, not now when she was finally supposed to be happy.  

She plastered a smile on her face and said, “THAT is mad! I was as surprised as everyone else. But I must admit he´s a formidable dancer.” Her words sounded hollow, even to her own ears. Why should anyone believe her?

“It´s ok, you need not to justify yourself. Even if the rumours are true. That´s your funeral.” Ginny shrugged and then jabbed Rose not too careful in the side. “Neville´s here,” she whispered, all of a sudden anxious again.

Surrendering to her fate, Rose walked over to her shy classmate, at least it was better than talking about rumours concerning her love life.

“Hey Neville!”

“Oh hey, Rose. How are you? You looked beautiful yesterday.” He smiled softly.

“Thank you Neville. Well, there is something I want to talk to you about,” Rose started and sat down beside him.

“Ok,” Neville said haltingly and watched her.

“Forgive me my forwardness, but you and Luna, are you together?”

Neville blushed and looked down on his hands.

“No, but I wished we were,” he admitted, not looking up.

“Yeah, I thought so much after seeing your looks every time you´re close to her. So you love her?” Rose had suspected that Neville fancied the blonde Ravenclaw girl since she had seen them last summer at the Order meeting.  Or better, had seen Neville´s silent pining.

“Yes, I know it´s terribly obvious…” Neville mumbled. His face was bright red and small beads of sweat glistened on his forehead.

“Yes, it is. But what about her? Does she return your feelings?”

“Who knows? Luna is always so vague.” Neville looked finally up, grinning lopsided.

“But you kissed yesterday.”

“Ah, well. It was more me kissing her. Her entire response was smiling afterwards and saying that it was interesting before she left.”

Rose cringed in sympathy for Neville and patted his arm. Poor bloke. He was so nice and soft and Luna, well she was herself and had probably no clue at all what Neville felt for her.

“Maybe she´s not ready for something like that. But there are other girls who like you, you know?” Actually Rose felt really bad for saying that. She remembered how angry she was as first Severus said she should find someone else and then after that Remus suggested to follow Severus´ request. One couldn’t simply switch their feelings off. And still here she was, asking Neville to do exactly that. If that wasn´t hypocritical.

Neville eyed her with sceptical raised eyebrows.

“Yes, of course because I´m prince charming,” he said more sarcastically than Rose had heard him ever before.

“What? Yes, kind of. Jeez Neville, you really changed. You´re good-looking, kind and gentle and you´re a hell of a dancer. Even Professor McGonagall seemed entranced while you danced with her.”

“Sorry Rose, but what do you want?”

“Ginny likes you,” she said simply. It followed an awkward silence until Neville swallowed nervously and brushed his hands repeatedly over his legs.

“G-Ginny?” Neville stuttered. “Oh.”

He looked uncomfortable away, saw Ginny glancing over and looked panicked back to Rose.

“Merlin, it´s not that I don´t like her. I do. But to be honest she scares me,” he whispered and leant closer to Rose.

Rose clapped a hand over her mouth to stifle the laughter. Neville glanced at her but grinned sheepishly.

“I see what you mean, but behind her mouthy appearance, she´s a really nice girl.”

“Yeah, I know, but no. She´s a friend but nothing more. I´m sorry for her. I know how one feels in such a situation, but I can´t change it.” Neville briefly peered over to Ginny who tried to look casually relaxed, but failed terribly.

“It´s ok, really. She will understand it.” Rose smiled at Neville and patted again his arm before she returned to Ginny and Hermione.

“Sorry, Ginny. He really loves Luna,” she offered bluntly.

“And what else did he say?”

“Oh, uhm…” Rose chuckled. “He thinks you´re scary with your “hex first, ask later” attitude.”

Even though it was obvious that she was upset, Ginny laughed at Rose´s last remark.


	4. Chapter 4

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The three girls stayed for a while longer together and talked about all and nothing. Ginny´s mood lightened over the time visible and she giggled and teased Rose about her dance with Snape as Ron's voice came from the portrait hole.

"See, now you can ask her yourself." He and Draco walked over and sat down beside the girls.

"Ask whom what?" Rose frowned.

"Ah, it's just Blaise..." Draco tried to play it down and waved dismissively his hand.

"He wants to date Ginny!" Ron blurted. The girls and Draco turned towards him. Rose and Hermione chuckled, Draco glared and Ginny coloured gradually a dark red.

"What? Blaise? That arrogant prat?" Ginny retorted heatedly.

“He´s not arrogant. What you would´ve noticed if you´d accepted his offer for a dance yesterday…Besides you thought that of me too,” Draco groused.

Ginny raised an eyebrow and smirked devilish.

“I still do.”

Draco huffed but kept silent.

"Oh boy, now it´s getting complicated." Rose sighed and chuckled. The boys looked confused and so the girls explained the problem.

"Well...that's indeed complicated, but not impossible." Draco stated but turned to the entrance of the common room. Loud talking and laughing sounded as a group of girls came into sight. The centre of it was Lavender who launched herself like a vulture on Rose.

“Now you can´t deny it any longer!” She laughed hysterically, poking one long-nailed finger into Rose´s chest.

Rose jumped up and shoved Lavender roughly away.

“I´ve had enough of it! I´ve really had enough of it all!” She yelled, plunging the whole common room into silence. “What proof do you think you have?”

“We all saw you yesterday and how quickly you left after he left.” Lavender smirked maliciously, but Rose breathed a deep, exasperated sigh and shook her head.

“You saw nothing except two people dancing. I danced the whole evening even with Lupin and Dumbledore. And as I left I went to bed.” Rose saw not even the point in yelling anymore. It seemed it didn´t matter if she yelled, begged, laughed or threw a furious tantrum, Lavender was a woman on a mission and no one and nothing could stop her. Quite in confirmation of her thoughts, Lavender laughed triumphantly.

“You did not! I was in the dorm before you and besides you were not back up here as Granger and Malfoy threatened to hex everyone who tried to stay in the common room.”

Rose huffed and willed herself to relax, there was really no need to let Lavender get to her.

“Fine. Then, what would you say if I tell you you´re right?” Rose asked flatly. Out of the corner of her eyes, she saw her friends stiffen and gawping in horror. But Lavender hesitated. Rose shook her head.

“What? Can´t you believe it? Well, might be that it isn´t true then,” Rose said but now Lavender recovered and smirked.

“Oh, I can believe it. I saw you last Halloween.”

“Dammit Lavender! Not that again. You saw nothing except how he dragged me away. You know why? He was furious because I made again a mistake in Potions. Ever since Dumbledore forced him to teach me, he complained about me being too dumb to even cut flubberworms.” Rose hoped degrading herself would finally make the other girl shut up but way off the mark.

“He looked not furious, rather extremely worried.” Lavender lifted her chin challenging.

The whole common room gazed at them. It was like a bizarre Quidditch match where the words were the Quaffel and all eyes followed them back and forth as the girls threw it over the pitch.

Rose plugged her glasses off her face and rubbed over her eyes. She was so fed up with this whole fuss about Severus and herself. Wasn´t it enough that everyone blathered on and on about them behind her back? Had Lavender really to confront her time and again with her accusations?

“Lavender, listen. The truth is I like him. Ok? I spend a lot of time with him but only because Dumbledore wants it. I **don´t** sleep with him. I learn potions stuff. Yes, granted, sometimes I stay longer and we drink tea together and just talk, but I do so also with Professor Lupin.”

“Lupin doesn´t really count, does he? He´s your uncle, sort of. Of course you drink tea with him and whatever. But Snape…”

Before Lavender could finish her newly started rant, Rose cut in, “For god´s sake! All you say is based on your assumptions. You have no idea what happens between us! Why the hell seems it to be forbidden to see that you were wrong over years and misjudged someone? What exactly is your problem? Have you never changed your mind about something or someone?” Rose talked herself into a rage and brandished her hands wildly in front of her.

Lavender hesitated again and it looked like Rose had finally reached her. Slowly she relaxed and took a step back and halfway turned towards her friends as Lavender spoke once again. Rather quiet and surer of her victory.

“I saw you chasing Snape through the castle last Saturday. He hastened away, but you followed him. You were really upset about something and begged him to stay. You left the wards and disapparated together.” Rose groaned and exchanged an unmistakable worried glance with Hermione. Of course out of all people it had to be Lavender who witnessed that day. “I waited, you know, I got rather impatient because you were gone for almost an hour. But then you came back. Snape shouted at you and then he hugged you. No, I can´t say it looked like a hug. That was more like hauling you into his arms and refuse to ever let you go again. I really thought he would kiss you. You can´t tell me he reacts that way just because you have so nice conversations about potions. And where have you been, anyway?”

“I can´t tell you,” Rose said simply, more than ready to end this “conversation” at this point.

“He even gave you the password to his office. I watched you go in as you were back in the castle, with a nasty cut on your cheek.” Lavender grinned and eyed the mentioned cheek, though of course there was nothing to see anymore.

Rose said nothing. There was no point in denying it, really.

“And what about Wednesday as you ran into him? He almost kissed you,” Lavender pursued, her grin widening.

Rose swallowed, waiting for more, but it appeared as if Lavender was finished for now, and waited for Rose to say something.

“You have your point and I have mine. We will never agree.” She said eventually, her voice low and strained.

Silence hung like a heavy blanket over the room, no one dared to move while the two girls stared at each other. Rose´s heart beat painfully hard in her chest. She felt dizzy and nauseous. She had to go or she would throw up in the middle of the common room. She shook her head at Lavender and staggered past her.

“You said it yourself, what would I say if you tell me it´s true? Well, I believe now only more that my assumptions are true. But right, go. Tell old Snape how mean I am,” Lavender cheered behind Rose. But Rose didn´t care anymore and stumbled through the portrait hole and as far as possible away from Lavender.

***

“Are you out of your senses?” Minerva McGonagall cried out. “I had my own suspicions about you two and your sudden change in behaviour. But never –never– had I thought all the rumours could be true. What are you thinking?” She pointed and glared at Severus, though considered Rose with an unhappy glance, too.

“Minerva, please,” Dumbledore piped up.

“No. Don´t tell me it is ok! You knew of it all the time! You even approve of it! What about classes?” At this point, Dumbledore took her cautiously by the shoulder and steered her into a chair in front of the fire.

"I assume there won´t be any problems concerning classes." Dumbledore placated Minerva and gazed to Severus, adding, “Will there be any problems?”

"Are you implying I would privilege her?" Severus asked with raised eyebrows. Dumbledore shook his head, but McGonagall got excited all over again.

"Albus, you **can't** possibly approve of this!" Minerva didn't know what to say anymore or how to express her worry. That couldn't be true.

"To say the truth, Minerva, yes. I am willing to allow this relationship as I am partly co-responsible. And I also beg you not to interfere there,” the Headmaster said firmly.

“A student, Albus! She´s not even an adult!” McGonagall virtually sobbed and grasped for Dumbledore´s hand.

“Ssshh, Minerva it´s enough now. Let´s wait for Remus.” He sat in the chair next to her and patted her shoulder. After some whispered calming words, McGonagall seemed to regain her composure. Though she sat stiff and with tightly closed mouth in her chair and eyed the revealed couple in front of her suspiciously. What was it in Rose´s eyes this man had? For sure they were an odd duo, the seemingly unapproachable, always ill-tempered, dark and cunning man and this scrawny though beautiful, wild-tempered girl, the saviour of their world and adored from so many people all over the wizarding world. But she had to admit - even though grudgingly – they harmonized, in their own odd way. And she had never seen Severus so caring before. While she scrutinized them, Severus had pulled Rose into his arms and murmured something into her ear, all the while holding her close and stroking her cheek with one thumb.

During McGonagall´s musing, Lupin entered the office, looking somewhat bewildered around.

"Thank you, you made it that fast. Take a seat. We just talked about the happy news and some not so happy," Dumbledore said, pointing at the free chairs.

"Happy news?" Remus swirled around and shot Rose a panicked look.

"I'm not pregnant!" She clarified at once. Only now Severus got the reference and palmed his face, groaning slightly and sinking in the closest chair nearby.

"By Merlin, Remus, no. I only wanted to express that these two told us now officially about their relationship, but concerning this, we have an urgent problem we can´t delay to deal with.” Dumbledore gave in the following a short sketch of the events.

Rose perched on the armrest of Severus´ chair. She leant in his direction as he slung his arm protectively around her waist and held her close.

“This girl has to be silenced,” Severus said bluntly after Dumbledore had finished.

“I agree with you that Miss Brown has to come to reason and needs to be stopped. But how, Severus?”

“I could hex her finally,” Rose said at least half-serious.

“Maybe that´s not the worst idea,” Remus thought. “You could cover her with a spell so she can´t blab anymore.” He gazed to Dumbledore.

“Or a vow,” Severus suggested.

“Or we just tell her the truth and see what happens,” Dumbledore concluded.

Minerva looked with wide, shocked eyes between the men back and forth.

“You must be joking. You can´t honestly mean what you say. Neither of you.”

“But Professor, what else?” Rose asked helplessly. She, herself, saw no solution for the problem and in some way hexing Lavender into silence seemed rather alluring.

“You shouldn´t let it come this far in the first place,” she answered definitely accusing, but her gaze was only directed towards the men.

At Minerva´s words Severus pressed Rose only tighter against himself and she wrapped her arms around his neck. Rose felt it was not at all beyond her Head of House to try to end this uncommon relationship. Morally questionable relationship as many others would say.

“It is not our place to intervene in issues of the heart, but I promised to do everything in my power to prevent greater damage. Let´s see what Miss Brown has to say to the matter,” Dumbledore said and frowned.

So Lavender was called. She looked a little intimidated but far more triumphant as she sat down next to the others. She eyed Rose and Snape unashamed and smirked as she gazed at Lupin who sat in the chair between the two.

“Miss Brown,” Dumbledore began and Rose saw that he neither smiled nor his eyes twinkled amused. “I´m sure you know why you´re here.”

“I guess.” Lavender shrugged.

“As I hear, both Professor McGonagall and Professor Snape tried to call you back to reason already. But to my disappointment I have to see that detentions seem not to stop your defamations nor do letters to your parents. I wish that your impertinent behaviour stops immediately. If you won´t do my bidding, I see me charged with the unpleasant task to send you home for the rest of this school year and it would be uncertain if you´d be allowed to come back for next term.” The Headmaster regarded Lavender with a long, disappointed gaze.

Rose glanced to Lavender and felt a little bit guilty but only until Lavender opened her mouth again.

“I´m sorry you feel the need to do so,” Lavender said finally. “But to be honest, it only confirms what I say all the time. If the rumours weren´t true you wouldn´t try to silence me with sending me home.”

“Miss Brown,” Severus said coldly. “Everyone is allowed to have his own opinion but there is absolutely no need to share it with everyone else. Do us and yourself the favour and shut up already!”

McGonagall and Dumbledore shot him a pointed look, but Severus only shrugged and glowered at Lavender.

“I will shut up, when you end this farce,” Lavender dared, lifting her chin defiantly.

Before anyone else could react Rose jumped up and slapped the other girl hard across the face.

“You silly, little bitch! You have no frigging idea what you´re saying!” She spat viciously. Severus grabbed Rose around the waist and pulled her away. So did Remus with Lavender who glared across the room. Everyone in the room stood now. Severus and Remus holding the girls out of reach of each other and Dumbledore and McGonagall seemed ready to intervene at any moment. Though Lavender still struggled against Remus, Rose relaxed as soon as she leant back against Severus, ignoring Lavender´s smug grin and Remus´ worried frown. But she couldn´t care less. Lavender was, anyway, profoundly convinced to be right and nothing Rose could do would change that opinion. And to be honest, it wasn´t as if she was wrong. Everyone in the room knew they only tried to shut Lavender up that not the Ministry or Board of Governors heard about the relationship.

“I´m afraid I have no choice. Miss Brown, I´ll write at once to your parents and arrange your departure within the next days,” Dumbledore turned and walked to his desk.

“No! Please! I´ll stop it, but don´t make me leave. My father doesn't know yet. Please let me stay,” Lavender cried and tears flew suddenly down her cheeks. Everyone stilled and just looked at the girl in front of them and the unexpected change in her behaviour.

Rose was the first who moved. She tugged Severus´ arms away and walked to Lavender. Right in front of her, she waited briefly but then touched her shoulder in a gentle gesture.

“Why are you doing this when you're so afraid of the consequences?” she asked softly.

“No one cares a shit about me,” Lavender sobbed bitterly, but the tears had stopped.

“You don´t make it particularly easy,” Rose huffed but then relented, “I mean, I tried, Lavender. I really tried to be your friend and to listen to you and I tried to talk to you and make you stop spreading rumours. But you still wouldn´t leave it be. Last year in the DA group we got along much better but since sixth year started…I don´t know what happened.”

“It´s you. You get everything. All the attention. All the men. Everyone loves you, even those who hated you for years are your friends suddenly. Just look at Malfoy, he´d kiss the floor beneath your feet. And then there I am. I´m all alone. My parents don´t care about me, they´re far too busy with their shop and I have no one. Not even the boys in school want more from me than a quick shag. Everything they see are my arse and my tits, but no one looks beyond. Even that gibbering idiot Weasley ditched me.” Lavender sniffed, but her hurt expression wouldn´t match her defiant posture as she crossed her arms over her chest.

“Blimey Lavender! You do all that because you´re jealous? I expected something big. But jealousy about something that isn´t even real? That´s stupid. With all your gossiping, you could seriously stain Professor Snape´s reputation,” Rose said.

For the first time since all that had started, Lavender looked small and insecure and everything but bossy.

Rose glanced at Severus and then to Dumbledore who nodded with a small smile. She sighed and hugged Lavender.

“Please just stop now and nothing will happen.”

“Miss Brown, when you promise to refrain from further defamations, I´m inclined to follow Rose´s obviously big heart and leave it at that,” Dumbledore said in a calm tone from behind his desk.

Shyly Lavender looked through the room and nodded. Her gaze stopped at Severus.

“I´m sorry, sir.”

Severus sighed but inclined his head in acceptance of the apology. He gazed at Rose and his eyebrows twitched upwards. But Rose only shrugged and turned to Lavender to leave with her for dinner.

“Bless our Rose,” Dumbledore sighed as the door closed behind the two girls and sat exhausted down into his armchair.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You asked for it, one or two times. Here it is now. Finally. A bit smut.  
> I hope you like it.

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Severus prowled in his usual manner through the classroom and left caustic comments on every cauldron. Then he reached the first row. He knew the other students would gauge his reaction to Rose. He peered into Hermione´s cauldron. His lips curled into a sneer.

“Well, Miss Granger, a blood replenishing potion seems even for you too…Potter! What are you doing you daft girl?” He shouted and jumped back, but not without getting sprinkled with Rose´s potion.

Rose stared at her cauldron which lay now empty on the floor. Slowly she lifted her gaze to Severus.

“Ten points from Gryffindor and Detention for imbecility.”

Rose opened and closed her mouth but kept silent. She had absolutely no idea what had happened. One moment she stirred the potion and the next the cauldron clattered to the floor.

Severus swept back to his desk and left Rose to clean up the mess.

The end of the lesson came ten minutes later and everyone hurried away.

Rose heard the door closing just as she mopped the last bits of the potion away.

“I´m sorry,” Severus mumbled into her hair as he wrapped his arms from behind around her waist. “I couldn´t wait until Wednesday and I had no idea how to keep you here or how to see you later.”

“Oh you bloody idiot! I thought it was really my mistake,” Rose pouted.

“No,” Severus said in a placatingly tone and nuzzled Rose´s neck. “I jinxed your cauldron while berating Miss Granger.”

“We need a code word.” Rose shook her head but turned in Severus´ arms, allowing him to kiss her. 

“Ten points for Gryffindor for such a brilliant idea,” Severus smirked and kissed her again.

***

At eight o´clock sharp Rose sauntered into Severus´ office. He sat behind his desk and peered briefly up but bent quickly back over his paperwork.

“Wait a moment, I just finish this,” he said and flicked his wand. The door to his private quarters opened.

Rose shrugged and went over. Half an hour of waiting later she peeked into the office.

“How long is this moment of yours?”

Severus startled and looked up. “I´m sorry. I´m coming. Now.” To emphasize his words, he stood up, glancing only briefly back at his desk.

Back in the study Rose turned to him. She smiled somewhat sheepishly.

“What is it?” Severus asked and pulled her into his arms.

“Well…You know, I wondered if we could just…”

Severus lifted quizzically his eyebrows, but Rose said nothing more.

“What do you want to do?” He stroked her hair behind her ears and smiled.

“I only want to be close to you."

“That was the original plan for tonight,” Severus whispered and pushed her slowly through the room to the sofa.

Rose looked over her shoulder. “Could we go to your bed?"

Severus paused for a split-second. His gaze darted over Rose's face

Quickly she added, "I know you said we won't rush things, but that doesn't mean we can't cuddle and kiss, does it? And in your bed it's certainly more comfortable than on the sofa." Heavens, they were close for months but now she blushed. Rose hated that, but Severus smiled.

Wordless he changed the direction and pulled Rose along to his bedroom.

Rose waited unsure a step away from the bed and watched Severus shrug out of his robes. He folded them and hung them over a chair in one corner, next to the wardrobe.

"No worries," he said as he turned and saw Rose looking. He climbed on his bed and extended his hand towards Rose.

"I'm not worried." Rose settled next to Severus and turned her head.

They looked at each other. With each passing moment Rose's heart thrummed faster in her chest. The tension in the room grew. Then suddenly Severus dipped down and kissed Rose. The first brush of lips was like kindling a fire. And soon Rose lay on the bed and Severus kissed, mouthed and nibbled on her throat. His hands stroked up and down over her sides, restless. Each upwards movement brought them closer to her breast and each down further down over her thighs.

Severus kissed the line of her collarbone. She shifted to allow him better access and his hand brushed the apex of her thighs. Rose exhaled shakily what turned into a gasp as Severus repeated the motion, this time deliberately and firmer.

"Is that ok?" he asked, looking intently down at her. "We don't have to go further."

"It's more than ok," Rose said and sat up. She pulled her shirt over her head and after a brief second of consideration wriggled out of her trousers.

Severus´ eyes widened briefly as he watched her, but he had no time to say anything before Rose grasped his collar and pulled him down into another kiss. She sighed softly as he stroked the bare skin of her stomach and trailed his mouth over the path his hands described. Rose gasped with each brush of his lips and shuddered sweetly as he dipped his tongue in her navel. Severus took his time to cover her stomach with kisses, sampling each millimetre of skin, before he slid upwards again. He looked at Rose. Her cheeks glowed in a soft pink and her lips were parted. Not able to resist, he claimed her mouth again while his hands fiddled on the hooks of her bra. Rose arched her back to help him and soon enough Severus threw the bra away. Severus felt already now drunk with arousal. He tapped the tip of his tongue against one of Rose´s nipples, noticed satisfied her sharp intake of breath and sucked the hardened nub completely into his mouth. One of his hands played with the other breast while the second hand trailed teasingly slow downwards and over her thigh.

He let go of her breasts as he stroked the soft skin of the inside of her legs right up to the beginning of her knickers. He watched her, how her lips parted further, eyes closed and head turned slightly away. But at the loss of his mouth she´d opened her eyes, blushing more under his hungry gaze. Still she managed a smirk.

“You´re overdressed.”

Rose worked with clumsy, trembling fingers on his buttons, betraying her light words.

"Merlin, all those buttons," she muttered after vanquishing the jacket and starting at the waistcoat.

Severus took her hands in his and kissed them softly. He then stood up and stripped himself down to his pants.

Rose swallowed. She glimpsed for a moment his heavily scarred, hairless chest and the thin trail of black hair that started below his navel and disappeared beyond the waistband, but she had not really time to do anything else as Severus came already back and knelt above her.

His kiss was as slow as his hand, crawling over her skin, down and further down. He worried for a moment she would stop him as his fingers reached the seam of her knickers, brushing softly the last existing barrier, lifting it in anticipation. But Rose arched into his touch, whispered, “Don´t stop.”

Severus hummed as his hand found its way under the fabric, touching her for the first time. He groaned as his fingers slid easily through her slick heat and with no resistance inside her. He couldn´t help as to press his crotch against her hip, his cock straining and twitching. And Rose moaned. She opened her eyes, pupils blown wide, and pushed her underwear aside, toeing it to the floor and then pushed at Severus pants. Hurriedly he shed them and returned to Rose, stroking her more easily with no hindering clothes in the way as he lay beside her. Her soft moans and gasps filled his mind and he´d have been content with only that until Rose wrapped one hand around him, stroking tenderly up and down.

Severus shivered and pressed into her touch.

“Yes,” he hissed. “Not so soft.”

Rose obliged and stroked him with a tighter grip, matching the speed with his movements on her and Severus couldn´t hold back. His hips jerked forward as he thrust into Rose´s hand, his own hand between her legs sped up. Rose squeezed him hard as she stiffened and buried her face into his shoulder as she moaned. Severus held her close and stroked her through her climax. He himself was so close, only a bit more.

Rose lifted her face and Severus rolled them around. Kneeling above her and, bracing himself on one arm, he kissed her. He took hold of her hand around his cock and squeezed, driving into her fist, one, two, three times before he spilled his release over her stomach and chest and both their hands. Panting heavily, he dropped his head to her shoulder. He couldn't really believe that that had happened.

Severus lifted his head as he heard Rose chuckle.

“If that is ‘taking it slow’, I´m not sure I want to know how ‘fast’ is in your understanding.”

“That was definitely not what I had in mind with slow,” he replied and kissed her again with many little pecks all over her face and neck. “We should get rid of this mess.” Severus stood reluctantly up and searched for his wand. As he turned back around he saw Rose gazing curiously at her hand and the cum dripping from it. Slowly she poked her tongue out and tasted it then looked to Severus and wrinkled her nose.

“It´s kind of gross, isn’t it?”

Severus laughed and vanished everything with a tap of his wand. Rose smiled up at him but then her gaze wandered down over his chest. She crawled to the edge of the mattress. Severus´ complete torso was covered in pale, silvery scars which crisscrossed like a mad, delirious maze on his skin. In a feather light touch, Rose traced one of them and swallowed. That was what Bellatrix had done to him after Rose had called him a coward.

Severus trembled and trembled even more as Rose touched her lips on a scar above his heart and whispered at his skin, “I´m sorry.”

“No. It´s not your fault.” Severus pulled her up and into his arms.

Rose sighed, but Severus´ embrace anchored her and stopped her from falling into the black pit of regret and guilt. Soon she started kissing the scars. It took a lot of time to accomplish that, but she wouldn´t stop until she had kissed every single one of them. In the end she and Severus lay wrapped around each other on the bed.

“I love you,” Severus whispered, half dozing off.

Rose mumbled a reply, but it was less than clear what she´d said.

***

“Rose, I have to go,” Severus voice sounded through her dream.

Rose grumbled and turned her face into the pillow.

“Rose.” Someone shook her shoulder. Smacking her lips, she blinked one eye open. Seeing Severus perched above her, she managed to open both at once, yawning.

Severus chuckled. “Good morning, sleepyhead.”

“What time is it?” Rose asked and cleared her throat.

“Half past five.”

“Are you nuts? It´s in the middle of the night…” Rose grumbled indignantly. She could easily sleep another two hours before she had to get up for breakfast. 

“I only wanted to say goodbye. I have to work. You can sleep a little longer, but be careful when you leave.” He bent down and kissed her briefly.

Rose grumbled a little less and pulled him down to the bed. “Don´t go.”

“Sorry I have to.”

Rose closed her eyes again after Severus was gone. She was too far from being awake to stand up right now.

***

“Damnit, Rose!”

Already the second time she got woken by Severus´ voice and a shake on her shoulder, though this time it sounded rather annoyed.

“Hmmm?”

“Professor McGonagall is raging. You missed her class and lunch.”

“What? Fuck!” Rose sat up and grasped for her glasses, shoving them into her face.

“Hurry, they wait for you,” Severus said and left.

“Who?” Rose asked, but Severus only closed the door to his study. In no time at all, Rose dressed and stormed for a quick splash of water into the bathroom. Then she took a steadying breath and peered into the study.

“Miss Potter!” McGonagall said with stern expression.

“I´m sorry, Professor, I really am.” Rose glanced to Severus and then to Remus who stood in the background, looking somehow amused.

“Fifteen points from Gryffindor for being absent without excuse and you´ll catch up on the missed subject this evening in my office.”

“Yes, Professor. Of course.” Rose lowered her gaze to the floor and only lifted it again as she heard a door being closed.

“As your Head of House I tell you hereby how wrong your behaviour was but I guess Minerva´s punishment is sufficient,” Remus said. “You have still half an hour. I expect you to be on time for **my** lesson.”

Remus left too and Rose peered at Severus who stood with crossed arms in front of his desk.

“I´ll buy an alarm clock,” he said dryly and then chuckled and wrapped Rose into his arms. “You´re not the only one who was rebuked. I guess she´d love to let me come for detention too.”

“That´s an idea, then I´m not all alone tonight.”

“I don’t think we should challenge Minerva.” Though Severus´ tone was serious, he still smirked.


	6. Chapter 6

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Rose arched her back and moaned. Gods, that was perfect. Still, she grabbed a hand full of hair and pulled, not too hard but enough to communicate. Severus lifted his head and peered up from between her legs.

“Sleep with me.”

Severus crawled over her and kissed her. His hand bumped against her thigh as he took his cock into his hand to guide it.

Rose closed her eyes as she felt him slowly slip inside her.

“What the hell?” Severus shouted suddenly and jerked away. “You said you´re a virgin. You lied to me. Who has fucked you, huh? Couldn´t wait what?”

Rose opened her eyes. Her heart beat frantically in her chest.

“Get out. I don’t want a used one,” Severus sneered and gazed disgusted at her.

Rose stumbled to her feet. Sobs shook her body while she fled out of the room…

With a start Rose sat up in bed, looking wildly around. A dream. It had been only a dream. Still shaking, she stood up and walked into the bathroom.

Her reflection in the mirror gazed pale-faced at her. She splashed some water into her face and returned to the bedroom. Everything was silent, so at least she´d woken nobody up. Except for herself. Considering the circumstances, Rose knew she wouldn´t find back to sleep and so she pulled her invisibility cloak from under her mattress and left Gryffindor tower. Hogwarts by night had always been her preferred location for wandering around.

While ambling aimlessly through deserted corridors, she mulled over her dream.

Bloody hell. Severus wouldn´t react this way, would he?

Four weeks had passed since their first sexual encounter and Rose´s nerves got thinner with each time. Surely Severus thought soon enough she was not ready for a relationship with him when she wasn´t even ready to have sex with him. But she couldn´t help it. She wanted to sleep with him, but what if he felt that she wasn´t a virgin anymore? Was that even possible? She had no idea how it felt for a bloke and she didn´t really have someone she could ask. The most likely would be Remus, but he wouldn´t know, quite like Sirius. And except them her group of friends was as experienced as she was which didn´t help a bit.

“What do you think you´re doing here in the middle of the night?” Remus´ voice startled Rose out of her thoughts. Caught, she turned and only on second thought wondered why he could see her.

“If you have to wear your father´s cloak, see that it covers you completely,” Remus answered her unvoiced question.

“Sorry. I couldn´t sleep and came here for thinking.”

Remus sighed. “With bare feet?”

Rose took sheepishly the cloak from her shoulders, revealing that she wore actually only a big t-shirt and boxers.

Remus´ gaze scurried over the length of her legs before returning to her face.

“You want to talk about whatever keeps you from sleeping?” he asked, blinking a few times. His gaze darted again over her body.

Rose shrugged but followed Remus to his private chambers and snuggled in one corner of his sofa while he made tea.

As he came back and placed the cups on the small table he tutted at Rose and covered her with his blanket.

“I slept with Draco,” Rose spluttered even before Remus had time to sit down. As he did so, he regarded her with a confused look.

“You remember the morning everyone was searching for me? I was with Draco, I´ve spent the night with him.”

“Ok,” Remus said blankly but frowned.

“Severus thinks I´m a virgin and…I haven´t slept with him yet because I´m afraid he will feel it.”

Remus grinned and then suddenly started laughing. From every reaction that was the last Rose had expected.

“Don´t you think you´re laying too much weight on the topic? Severus and you weren´t even together at this time and he even told you to look for someone else. I´m sure he never meant Draco, but he shouldn´t blame you, anyway. If you want to sleep with him and he wants you too…Rose, just do it and stop overthinking it.”

“And if he doesn´t want me because of it?”

“If Severus only wanted you to take your virginity he wouldn´t…”

“Yeah, I get it,” Rose cut him off and held her hands up. She felt her face growing warm.

Remus chuckled again, but this time he came over to her and took a seat on the sofa.

“Severus loves you, I´m pretty sure of that and I really don´t think he´ll leave you because he wasn´t your first.”

Rose hummed her understanding and then peered at Remus. “Thank you. I´m glad you found me.”

“In more case than one it was better me than someone else. Just think about to have this conversation with Filch.”

Rose made a face and then slapped Remus soundly on the arm. “Gods! Don´t say such things!”

Remus laughed and pulled Rose half out of the blanket and into his arms.

Rose sighed contently and smiled. “I´m really glad I have you.”

Remus didn´t answer but tightened his arm around her.

 

***

"I am not dumb, Severus!" Rose exclaimed furiously and glared over to Severus.

"Well, love, prove it!" he challenged with a, in her opinion, much too smug smile.

“I will prove it! It´s not the first time I´m heating something!”

Still grinning, Severus leant back against a nearby cupboard and watched Rose a moment.

Bubotuber pus was a tricky substance that tended to ruin every potion when added for heating. All the brewing could be fine and then you add the pus. When it gets too hot it will suddenly thicken into jelly and burst all over the place. He couldn´t count how many times that happened to him, still.

“Cautious now! Don´t stop stirring!” Severus approached Rose slowly. With a glance into the cauldron, he pulled her away, but it was already too late. The seething substance formed bubbles which burst with a splatter. Unlike Rose, Severus was relatively lucky. The caustic jelly hit only his chest whereas Rose was splattered all over with it.

Without hesitation, he waved his wand and caused her soiled clothes to vanish. However, Rose had some sprinkles on her hands and face and obviously, some of the jelly had burnt through her clothes in this short time of contact and left red blotches on her chest and abdomen which grew steadily. It was no good, she had to take a shower.

“Here! Take a shower with this!” He gave her a vial with a transparent liquid and pushed her into his bathroom. He turned to clean up the mess as he noticed the itching on his chest. While his thoughts had been on Rose, the jelly had gone straight through all layers of his upper clothes. Quite perfect. Sighing, he discarded them like Rose´s a moment ago. He scrubbed his chest with a towel and instead of taking a shower himself, applied a healing salve.

Severus was about to close the last buttons on his new shirt as he heard the bathroom door creak open.

“Hmmm…you know that I´m still half naked, don´t you?” Rose asked flirtatiously and batted innocently her eyelashes at Severus.

“Yes, I´m aware of that.”

Rose entered the room completely and couldn´t help but frown as Severus quickly looked away.

“How do you feel?” he asked and cleaned the last bits of the exploded potion.

“I am ok…but it´s a bit itchy.” Rose shrugged. She´d survive this little accident. There were other things more urgent at the moment. “Why don´t you look at me?”

“I have still some of the finished salve. That will help. But it´s in my bedroom…” Severus said and forced himself to fix his eyes on Rose´s face, ignoring her last question.

“You know that I really don´t mind when you risk a look, do you?” She chuckled and raised an eyebrow. Not that he hadn´t seen every bit of her already.

Because he hadn´t moved yet, Rose walked slowly over to Severus. She stood on her toes and stretched to wrap her arms around his neck.

“Oh nor do I, actually,” Severus whispered and lifted her easily up into his arms. “But I´m afraid I´d forget all my manners and simply savage you when I look too much.”

“I´ll take the risk,” Rose whispered into his ear and wrapped her legs around his waist. Her late night talk with Remus a few days ago had helped to make up her mind and she was now more than ready to let happen whatever would happen should it happen.

Severus´ hands felt hot on her naked skin and left a little tingle wherever he touched her. He carried her effortless over to the sofa and lowered her onto it, followed her and kissed slowly down her jaw and over her throat. Rose sighed softly as he travelled further down to her collarbone. Severus sucked ever so lightly on the skin and nibbled then his way back up to her mouth. Rose shuddered pleasantly. Severus knew somehow always where to touch and kiss her so she forgot everything around her. He found instinctively the most sensitive spots on her body, even though she had no idea she had them.

She was so distracted by his mouth that she only noticed what he was doing as his hand reached the seam of her knickers and he stroked softly lower. His fingertips brushed over the thin fabric and Rose gasped.

“I want you,” she said and waited anxiously for his reaction.

Severus stopped kissing the curve of her ribs and looked up. His gaze was blatantly hungry and made Rose tremble in anticipation.

“Really? We don´t have to. I can wait.”

“But I can´t.” Rose wriggled free and stood up.

Severus leant forward, his hands grasping for her hips, but Rose stepped away and sauntered to the door behind his desk. On the way, she opened her bra and dropped it to the floor. She disappeared into the bedroom, without looking back once.

As Severus followed, he found Rose sprawled over his bed, naked and waiting. The sight alone was enough to arouse him into full hardness. He grinned and bent down to kiss her already kiss swollen lips before he trailed down over her collarbone and her belly. But Rose was impatient today, or nervous, Severus was unsure which of it. He knew only that he wanted Rose, badly, and that she´d said she wanted him too made him a little jittery.

He moved lower with his mouth. Reaching her thighs, he paused briefly before dipping down to taste her.

Rose moaned softly and pressed herself against him. Again Severus lapped at her to hear more of those sweet sounds. Her answering moan was louder, needier. One of her hands raked through his hair and made sure he wouldn´t stop. Not that he´d planned that anytime too soon.

Severus grinned and doubled his efforts.

Rose writhed and undulated under Severus´ constant ministrations to her. She felt on fire and so close to coming. She grabbed a hand full of his hair and pulled him up, not too softly. The wild expression in his eyes would´ve been frightening in any other context, but now it only added to her arousal. His lips were wet and as they kissed, she tasted herself on them. Her hands rubbed and nails scratched over his back. His trousers provided bittersweet friction between her legs and Rose moaned, causing Severus to attack her mouth more urgently.

“Fuck. Get undressed!” she demanded, breathless but no less firm, and pushed on his shoulder while at the same time bucking her hips against him.

Severus kissed her again, a sweet little brush of lips before he stood up. Fast, but without hurry, he undid the buttons of his trousers and slid them together with his briefs down. Rose watched him nearly breathless. Her heartbeat threatened to topple over as Severus climbed back on the bed and slowly crawled over to her. Just in that moment she remembered her dream and felt panic grow inside her. She looked probably exactly like that because Severus halted to stroke gently her cheek.

“We don´t have to. We still can wait,” he whispered tenderly but hoarse with arousal and not the slightest bit convinced he´d take her refusal as casual as he wanted her to believe.

“No,” was all Rose managed to say before she kissed him and wrapped her arms around him to pull him between her legs and close.

She felt his cock rub against her as he dragged himself through her slick folds, teasing her with touching but not giving her what she wanted, needed, so desperately.

“Severus…”

She arched against him. Severus moaned lowly at the added movement and Rose wrapped her legs around his waist. She gasped as they both moved at the same moment and without having it planned that way, Rose felt him slip into her.

Severus gasped as he was suddenly enveloped by Rose and like an afterthought froze in his motion. Heavens she was so wet, he had not even considered entering her, and definitely not that incautious, though thinking about, it had been easy. He had expected more resistance at the first time. It was her first time after all…Or not. It hadn´t felt like that. Not that he really cared at the moment. She was perfect, wrapped snug around him and Severus still tried to hold still, though the urge to move clawed on him not unlike Rose´s pulsing contractions.

But then Rose mewled, the sweetest sound of frustration and wriggled under him. Severus´ swirling thoughts screeched to a halt and all conscious thinking left him. There remained no room for worry or ifs and whens. Not with Rose urging him to move.

He set a slow pace, steadily thrusting in and out, but soon he went faster. Rose encouraged him with loud moans and her fingers dug into his neck and lower back, leaving new marks on his skin.

Severus really feared he would finish before her. Her moans and gasps pushing him so close to the edge, his whole body tensed with the sensation of it. And then Rose tightened her legs even more around him, pulling him impossible closer. Severus groaned, determined to hold on, but it was virtually impossible with the breath-taking sight Rose displayed, her rippling muscles around him and the arousing mewls and keening sounds falling from her lips.

Severus dipped down, kissing Rose fiercely, and thank Merlin that was all it took to bring her to the brink. She held her breath for a moment, her whole body tensed and then with a gasped breath, that ended in a shaky, low moan she tumbled over the edge. She shuddered in his arms as her walls clenched around him and pulled him alongside her into his own orgasm. His throaty groan sounded almost animalistic in his own ears.

Rose scratched lightly over Severus´ back, trying to catch her breath, still in a dizzy, blissful state of pleasure. Not in her whole life had she imagined that it could be like this. Compared, her first first-time with Draco had been really not more than the act of losing her virginity. But with Severus it had been so different. Even now as he pressed her into the mattress, his weight settling almost uncomfortable on her but not quite, she thought herself foolish for having denied herself this experience, both of them.

She felt Severus shudder under her light touch and then he pulled away and lay down beside her. Though it was far more comfortable, she missed the closeness immediately and turned to her side to face him.

Severus regarded her silently but so intense Rose felt slightly awkward and as he spoke was his voice not actually tense but serious, gravely so, nothing like she´d expected in her own haze of afterglow.

“I need to ask you something.”

Rose, unable to find her voice immediately, only nodded.

“You weren´t a virgin anymore.”

“That was not really a question,” she tried to quip but failed with her voice sounding even to herself feebly and unsure. Damn, and he´d noticed after all.

“Am I right?” Severus inquired, his face morphed into a blank mask and Rose had really no guess what was going on inside him.

She exhaled. If he already suspected it, what he did evidently, there was no use to deny it. She nodded.

“With whom?” Severus asked tersely. A few possible candidates flickered through his mind and everyone worse than the one before.

Rose swallowed and finally told him the truth about her Christmas holidays. She watched Severus´ gaze darken with disappointment and again she regretted that night with Draco, now even more than directly afterwards. Anxiously and lying completely still, she waited for Severus´ decision. Surely he would blame her.

Severus was quiet for a prolonged moment. Of all the boys he´d had in mind, Draco had been none, though he should have probably expected that given the fact that he and Rose had grown rather close even before the holidays. The stinging disappointment mingled with the realisation that his own godson had taken what he deep down had always wanted for himself. And Draco had lied.

“Salazar!” Severus muttered.

Rose had no idea if he was angry or not and was taken by surprise as he suddenly jumped up and grabbed his clothes.

“What are you doing?” Rose asked, panicking. She watched him step into his trousers and shrug into a shirt. Even while still buttoning both, he stormed already out of the room. Rose grabbed the blanket and followed him.

“Severus!”

“This mendacious little shit!” Severus snarled and ignored Rose.

“Severus, please! What are you doing?” She followed him to his office door and stopped. She couldn´t exactly follow him, dressed with only his blanket. So Rose had no other choice than to return to the study and wait there. Because her own clothes were banished, she took Severus´ bath robe and wrapped it around herself. Nervously she paced up and down. Draco would find himself in a presumably nasty situation within the next minutes. It spoke for itself that Severus had not even bothered with donning his complete usual attire of waistcoat, jacket and robes.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is only half betaed, so uh, well....Yeah, it´s only half betaed ;)

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Unlike the last time the Fat Lady did not even bother to argue with Severus and swayed open with only a disgruntled mutter as he demanded admittance.

“Draco!” Severus shouted into the Gryffindor common room and all heads flew around. Some eyes widened, neither of the students had ever before seen the Potions Master in anything less than his formal robes and his angry, contorted face did not bode well either. Draco looked startled over the back of an armchair, a frown creasing his forehead as he looked his clearly aggravated godfather up and down.

“My office. Now!” Severus positively seethed and turned on his heels, storming back out of the common room.

“What have you done?” Ron whispered as Draco stood up, smoothing nervously his hair out of his face.

“I have no idea…” Draco said and hurried after Severus. It was never good to let the man wait but especially not when he seemed to be in a homicidal mood.

He caught up with him only as Severus had already entered his office. With wildly beating heart, Draco followed him into his private study and found to his surprise Rose in Severus´ bath robe, crossing the room with a panicked expression.

“Severus?” Draco asked cautiously. Severus spun around and stood after two sudden strides only a hand´s breadth apart from Draco.

“It never was more than the kissing, right?” Severus asked dangerously calm, gazing down at Draco.

“I…eh…”

“You are just friends, aren´t you?” Severus interrupted Draco´s stuttering, looming intimidatingly over the smaller, younger man.

“Sev…” Draco all but squeaked.

“And you would never lay as much as a finger on the woman I love, did I get that right? Yes?” Severus finished. He watched satisfied as his words hit home. Draco paled to a sickly greyish tone and gulped. His eyes darted to Rose as he also realised why Severus had asked those things.

“Well?” Severus urged, a predatory grin parted his lips, baring his teeth, his eyes twinkling furiously.

“Severus, I can explain,” Draco gasped and stumbled backwards, hands raised to placate his godfather.

“There is no need, Rose explained already everything I needed to know. What I´m interested in is why you lied to me.”

“Would you have preferred to hear that your soon-to-be-girlfriend slept with me?” Draco had aimed for a more secure tone, but all what came out was a hoarse, shaky whisper. Severus still grinned as Draco writhed uneasy, knowing perfectly well the young man would prefer to be shouted at because Severus´ soft, silky voice was unnaturally unnerving. Of course he used it exactly for that reason, though.

“No. Actually, I had preferred you hadn´t done it at all.”

They stared for a stretching moment at each other before Severus jabbed his index finger against Draco´s chest.

“Go.”

He hadn´t to repeat himself. Draco fled the scene so quickly it was as he hadn´t been there in the first place.

“Was that necessary?” Rose asked and eyed Severus cautiously, unsure if she wouldn´t hear still her own part of it.

“Indeed,” Severus nearly purred and grabbed the fabric of her robe, pulling her close into a possessive kiss. “You are mine and he has to know his place,” he said, licking and sucking on the sensitive skin right under Rose´s jaw while his hands entangled the ribbon that held the robe in place. He sank to his knees and kissed his way down below her navel as he hissed. He jerked his head away and grabbed his arm.

Breathing in, he stood up and placed a short kiss on Rose´s mouth. Then he took his cloak.

“I will try to make it short,” he said tersely and left.

Rose stayed behind, too surprised by the sudden change. As she finally came back out of her stupor, she shrugged in the bath robe again and sat down in front of the fire. She had still no clothes and nothing to do besides waiting for Severus´ return and trying not to worry too much. That alone seemed like an impossible task.

Randomly she skimmed through Severus´ old school book and read his notes. He really was a genius. But her mind wandered more and more often away from the book and to the possibilities of what Bellatrix might do with Severus. Finally Rose started to wander aimlessly from room to room, feeling like a caged animal. The evening moved on and Severus was still not back yet.

***

Rose woke the next morning and had no clue where she was until she looked over her shoulder and faced a sleeping Severus. She smiled. She didn´t remember his return, nor that she had gone to bed, so he must´ve brought her there as he´d come back. Rose looked carefully, but she couldn´t find any signs of wounds or bruises, actually he looked peaceful, more than she´d ever seen him. She thought about standing up, but Severus had one arm wrapped around her and that made even turning impossible, at least without waking him. She wriggled a bit closer and her heartbeat quickened as she felt his warm skin on her where the bath robe was bunched up. Severus stirred again and mumbled something in his sleep. Experimentally she pushed a little bit against him. After only a few seconds of wriggling she felt him growing hard and smirked to herself. He gasped softly as she pressed more firmly against his crotch and finally Rose turned in his arms. Boldly she slid one hand beneath his underwear and wrapped her fingers around him.

Severus woke with a start and a rock hard erection.

Rose´s hand was firmly wrapped around his cock and stroked slowly up and down. He moaned and Rose applied more pressure to her strokes and the slightest twist over the head of his cock.

Rolling her onto her back, he lay on her, painfully aware how hard he was as his erection was trapped between them. His hands roamed over her body, seeking her breasts but most of all her waiting centre. His hand found his destination, victoriously sliding down.

"Stop." It was not more than a breath as she whispered it. Willing himself to be sensible, Severus rolled off Rose, panting and more than confused but not for long. Rose shrugged out of the robe and then pulled his briefs down. Before Severus could comprehend the situation fully, her mouth was around his erection. His head fell back into the pillow as he moaned. He grabbed a handful of her hair, resisting the urge to thrust up into that delicious heat.

Blimey, this mouth should be forbidden.

Once in a while, Rose gazed innocently up to him, smiling around his length and sucking him skilfully, sloppily closer towards his personal nirvana.

With a wet pop, she let, far too soon for his liking, go of him and crawled up. Her eyes were a dark shade of green as she looked down and sat across his lap. Rose kissed him and at the same time reached between them to guide him into her. Gasping, she sat up and started with slow little movements to ride him, enough that it aroused, but not enough to give any release, definitely designed to drive him crazy.

As Severus thought he would lose all his self-control, he grabbed Rose´s hips and quickened her movements, thrusting into her.

The last thing he thought before he lost himself in bliss was that Rose would cost him most likely all his sanity.

 

***

"You were gone long," Rose noted as she snuggled against Severus and traced new patterns over the scars on his chest.

Severus sighed frustrated.

"Bellatrix managed to kidnap a lower Ministry employer. She was so nice to invite me to his interrogation and I found myself in no position to decline."

Rose heard his unwillingness to speak about it and let it drop. There was no need to make him repeat whatever he´d had to do to keep Bellatrix entertained and giving it a closer look, Rose herself might quite possible not want to know the details too urgently. Some things stayed better unrepeated. So instead of questioning Severus further, she kissed his chin and, propping herself on his chest, peered down at him.

"Can we stay just like this for the rest of our lives?"

Severus chuckled. If he had any say in the matter, he would do just that, but sadly he had duties and it wouldn´t do any good if he neglected any of them in favour of happy togetherness with this beautiful, sinful young woman. He grabbed his wand from the night stand and cast a tempus spell. Immediately he was not only wide awake but also more than alert. So much for neglecting his duties.

"Bloody hell!" he groaned and jumped up. "It's 8.50. Hurry up!"

"You're funny. I have no clothes," Rose stated.

"Oh yes...right." With a plop a female house-elf appeared, bowing deeply.

"Professor Snape, what can Niffy do for you?"

"I need you to go to Miss Potter's dormitory and bring her a set of new clothes and robes. Make sure no one sees you," Severus ordered while ripping clothes out of his wardrobe, dressing partly on his way to the bathroom.

Morning toilet was for both more a cat lick, but it had to be enough for the moment.

Afterwards, Rose watched how Severus dressed.

"You really button every single one manually?" she asked, eyes widening in amazement.

"It helps me focusing...”

“Even when you´re in a hurry?”

“Especially then.”

“But why do you always wear black?"

"I like black."

"Well, but it's depressing."

Severus halted briefly in his movement and glanced to Rose who smiled innocently.

"Don't even think about trying to change that." He was unsure if he should laugh or glare and ended with parts of both.

"I go now. We'll see us in a minute. Hurry!" Severus said but took the time to kiss Rose before he swept with furiously billowing robe out of his chambers.

***

"You´re late, Miss Potter. 10 points from Gryffindor," Severus snarled as Rose scurried to the front row and sat down with red face. Of course she was late, Severus himself had been late by five minutes, but somehow he had to observe proprieties and not rouse any more suspicions.

"Where have you been?" Hermione whispered to Rose, frowning and gazing on her wristwatch.

“What do you think?” Rose retorted just as the door opened again. All heads turned and everyone looked confused to see an aerial smiling Luna, more floating than walking, enter the room.

"Very well, Miss Lovegood, splendid you made it. Take a seat. Preferably in the first row, next to Mister Malfoy." Severus paused and waited for Luna to sit down. "Miss Lovegood here seems to be unchallenged in her own year and will therefore, as far as the logistics may allow it, attend this class," he explained with a frown and cleared his throat before he went on. "For today we will approach a topic you might think useful or at least you should think so," he said and waved his wand to the blackboard.   
"Contraceptive Potions. What do you know about them?" He arched an eyebrow, waiting for at least Hermione´s hand to shoot up.  
  
Contraception, Rose thought. That was indeed a useful topic among some others. Rose waited for anyone to say something or at least for Severus to start berating them for their idiocy as something clicked into place and she paled. Oh no...she hadn't thought about contraception, not once in over four weeks. Not even the smallest part of her mind. Her head began to spin. What should she do? What when she was getting pregnant now?  
Hermione nudged her with her elbow.

"What's wrong?" she whispered. Severus shot them a glowering look but said nothing. He too noticed of course how pale Rose had become.

"No one?" he asked the class acidly. "Well then. The best method to prevent unwanted pregnancy is still entirely no sex. As I´m sure you will consider this impossible, there are different potions which prevent a pregnancy as well. But all of them have one thing in common...Miss Potter I´d like you to pay attention!" he nearly barked and startled Rose out of her dreadful thoughts. Severus regarded her for another second. She was so pale and now shaking that Severus feared she might faint any moment. He quirked one eyebrow and hoped she´d understood that he noticed her anxiety before he faced the rest of the class again and went on.

“As I said all the different potions have one thing in common: they work as long as at least **one** sexual partner takes it. However it is indeed safer when the woman uses it or both partners. Questions?"

“Does it matter which potion they both use? I mean could I use A and my boyfriend B?" the only Hufflepuff girl in the class asked.

Exactly that was the reason why Severus so often hated his job. Even after 6 years of Potions lessons, they were still stupid as flubberworms and it seemed it was again like tilting against windmills. Swallowing his frustration at least partly, he inhaled a calming breath.  
"Miss Fernsby, does it matter when I use Bubotuber pus as antidote for Agromantula poison?" he asked pointedly and to his greatest dismay Luna Lovegood started giggling. A soft, high-pitched sound that hurt his ears. He glowered shortly at her what of course had not the slightest impact on the girl. He returned his attention then to the stupid Hufflepuff, who at least had the decency to blush.

"Eh....y-yes?" the girl stammered.

"I see. Of course you have to use the same potion when you decide to use it both! Every potion has its unique composition of ingredients that make the effect possible. Two different potions would neutralize each other. So you wouldn´t need to bother with contraception in the first place. However...You'll work in teams. As there are 3 different contraceptive potions, always two teams can compare their results. I hand you your recipes."  
He rustled with some papers, browsing through them. "Miss Granger, Miss Potter you pair up with Mister Malfoy and Miss Lovegood. Your potion will be the most difficult one which is also by far the safest." Handing them their recipe he bent down and whispered nearly inaudible for everyone but Rose, "Calm down. I was well prepared."

Rose swallowed but dared not to nod or even to look up.

"You smell like Professor Snape," Luna said suddenly, turning with a faint smile from Severus to Rose.

Severus who was about to go to the next group froze to the spot and glanced down at the first row. Draco looked up to him and raised an eyebrow. Gladly no one else seemed to have heard it.

"Eh, yes...I had extra lesson yesterday and haven´t changed my pullover," Rose said trying hard to grope for any left casualty to not show her again rising panic, though now for an entirely different reason.

"You seem then to be very close in those lessons to smell so intense…” Again the Ravenclaw girl smiled somewhat eerily and gazed unblinking at Rose. “And I thought you wore blue yesterday." Luna inclined her head thoughtful and eyed Rose's sleeve where one could see the pink seem of her new shirt under her robes.

Severus groaned inwardly. He willed himself to simply go on and to ignore the Lovegood girl. Why the hell had he suggested to let her attend this class? Scowling, he handed the remaining recipes out.

Draco chuckled lowly.

"You're really great Luna, very observant. But I wonder too, Rose. You missed breakfast…" He smirked and subtly leant closer to sniff in her direction, the smirk grew wider.

"Oh shut up. Will you? You know perfectly well were I´ve been," Rose hissed. "Let's start Hermione," she added and scanned the recipe before she left for the storage room to get the ingredients.

Back on her seat, Draco started again to ask about her whereabouts and what had happened. Rose glared at him. Huffing in frustration she cast a Muffliato and leant over to Draco.

"Are you mad today? You can't talk with all our classmates around and not in **his** class! Just remember your little encounter with him yesterday."

At the mention of Severus´ nearly violent fit of jealousy Draco hesitated briefly, but then the grin returned to his face. "But now no one hears us, right? By the way is that a love bite?" He nodded towards Rose´s neck.

"What? Where?" Rose´s hands flew up to her neck.

"There." Hermione touched the spot that happened to be the exact same Severus had sucked on just before he got summoned. Rose groaned and Luna smiled.

"Of course it is. I always thought Professor Snape would do something like this as he cannot openly claim Rose."

Speechless Rose stared at the younger girl.

"Possessive bastard," Draco snarled under his breath.

"Is something wrong?" Severus asked.

Rose glared up to him and bent her head to make him see the purple spot below her jaw. His eyes flickered over it and a sly grin scurried over his face before his expression settled back into stern disapproval.

“You better get started.” He turned away and sat down behind his desk.

***

After the lesson, Rose took intentionally long to pack her things up and even repacked her whole school bag to make sure everyone had left.

"We're waiting outside," Hermione said and left with Draco and Luna the classroom. The door closed with a soft groan and Rose spun around to the teacher´s desk.

"You can't mark me!" She pointed at her neck.

"I'm afraid you're wrong here." Severus smirked, leaning quite pleased with himself back in his chair.

"Are you...Damn no! What do you think everyone will do when they notice?" Rose seethed. What the hell was wrong with the man? First he´d been afraid of everything bringing them into connection, trying even to get a student expelled for gossiping and now he marked her so blatantly and laughed about it.

"Hide it then." Severus shrugged nonchalantly but the somewhat proud smirk never left his face.

"Better go and find me a bruise salve," Rose groused, crossing her arms in front of her chest.

"I will, visit me after your last class..." His gaze turned somewhat apologetic under Rose's persistent glare and finally he held his hand out to her.

"Stop being mad with me. I could simply not resist." Rose walked the rest of the way up to him and allowed him to pull her close in between the vee of his legs. "Are you ok? I just realised on the way here that we never spoke about contraception, what was more than a little careless of me." Severus stroked softly over the backsides of her legs, gazing up.

"No, I'm fine now after this lesson." She was indeed. If Severus had used a contraceptive she had at least not to worry about an unwanted pregnancy, that would be really the very last thing she needed right now.

"When you come later, I'll give you some of the potion, too. I´d feel better if you´d take it instead of me or in addition to me. Just to be sure." He saw Rose silently nod and added, "And by the way, please don't use my own spells in my classroom."

"Then you'd prefer that everyone overhears Draco's opinions and Luna's bluntness regarding you and me?" Rose asked with a raised eyebrow. Lavender would´ve had her personal field day if word reached her.

"Fine. Then do it less obvious. I can't allow you to whisper during the whole lesson."

Rose smirked and leant down. Her lips touched only ever so slightly the rim of his ear.

“Then make me stop,” she whispered and straightened hurriedly as she heard the next class coming closer. She grinned nearly as sly as he had before and walked away.

***

“So, you´re in our Potions class now…How does that work with your other classes?” Rose asked Luna as she joined her friends on their way upstairs.

“I don´t know yet. Professors Flitwick and Snape still discuss it with the Headmaster,” Luna replied with a little shrug.

“I´m sure that is everything but easy,” Hermione said, frowning. “I mean, what class would you have now originally?”

“Charms,” Luna said in a singsong and pirouetted once around herself before she faced Rose. “So the rumours are really true in the end,” she said more sincere than they all were used to.

“Luna, please stop talking like that in public,” Rose pleaded and peered cautiously around.

“I know, you can´t be officially together because you´re not seventeen yet. But love does not make any distinctions between different periods of life or if it might be appropriate. Love simply happens and you two love each other. I´m happy for you. But most of all for Professor Snape, he looks happy around you. You do him good. And no worry. I won´t tell anyone, they wouldn´t believe me anyway.” Luna shrugged and danced in pirouettes away leaving three speechless people behind.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just saw that I mistakenly saved yesterdays chapter as a draft instead of posting it...Sorry for that. But for you it means you get two chapters today! *yeah*  
> From now on it´s not betaed at all. I´m afraid you have to put up with my mistakes again.
> 
> Make sure you read chapter 7 first!!!

<<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>> 

Rose entered the Headmaster´s office with Severus right after the Friday´s Potions class and found herself faced with not only Dumbledore and Luna but with the Professors Flitwick, McGonagall and Sprout, as well. Even Severus looked for a moment confused due to the many people.

“Ah now we´re complete. Please, everyone, take a seat.” Dumbledore waited a moment before he started. “We need to discuss Miss Lovegood´s education regarding Potions.” He directed a sympathetic smile towards Luna. Rescheduling her timetable in a way that would enable her to attend every core class and the higher Potions class as well was simply not possible. Not that they hadn´t played through every whatsoever farfetched idea over the last three weeks. “Regrettably there seems to be no solution and before we continue debating the matter again endlessly back and forth, I decided it would be easier to give Miss Lovegood the chance to receive further education in a more private setting.” Dumbledore turned his hopeful gaze to Severus. “Would it be possible to supervise her together with Rose on those Saturday appointments of yours?”

Rose´s eyes flew to Severus and she caught his surprise. Now, at least, it became apparent why the Headmaster had asked her to join Severus.

“I think that shouldn´t be a problem. But I would´ve appreciated you´d let me know about it beforehand,” he said and suppressed the need to take Rose´s hand and give it a reassuring squeeze. It really would´ve been nice if he´d had the time to discuss this earlier, foremost with Rose.

“Don´t worry Rose,” Luna said instead. “I will concentrate on my work and you can do whatever you usually do together.” She smiled and then added to Rose´s dread, “I don’t mind when you´re kissing.”

After that, a few things happened at the same time.

Professor Dumbledore stared intensely at Luna and chuckled, briefly, but turned it fast into and disguising cough.

Professor McGonagall paled and became extremely tight lipped as she shot Dumbledore an “I told you so” gaze.

Professor Sprout and Flitwick gasped, their expressions changing alternatingly between glaring, frowning and gawping gobsmacked.

Severus groaned and palmed in an exasperated gesture his face before he shook his head.

Rose herself felt her face heat up and wished the ground would open and swallow her whole.

Whereas Luna gazed unfazed around and seemed utterly unaware of the difficulty she´d caused.

“I told you that would happen eventually, Albus” Minerva said finally and voiced what she had thought all along.

“So it is true?” Professor Sprout asked and looked open mouthed to Severus who shrugged.

“What can I say?” he asked “Miss Lovegood seems to have internal knowledge of something that ought to remain a secret.” His gaze lingered now on Rose, his eyebrow crawled slowly higher and higher. It wouldn´t be the first time she´d have spoken, rather too open, about them.

“It´s not my fault,” she retorted hastily and lifted her hands in a gesture of rejection. At least this time it was true.

“You´re not as subtle as you might think Professor Snape. It was not too difficult to figure it out,” Luna said with an apologetic smile and added with cunning sweetness, “Besides, Rose smells an awful lot like you recently.”

Severus gaped at the girl for a moment and then chuckled. And, because what should they all do against it, reached out and finally took Rose´s hand, lifting it up to press a small kiss on the back of it and smiled at Rose before gazing at Luna. “Miss Lovegood, you never cease to amaze me.”

“But how does that work?” Professor Flitwick asked into the general confusion and straightened in his chair, what was not much to be honest and made him still barely able to gaze over Dumbledore´s desk.

“It works just fine, thank you,” Severus snapped, immediately defensive, and glared, though mildly, down at his tiny colleague.

“Now, now Severus, no need to bite. But he´s right, Filius, there are no problems I couldn´t sort out recently. As uncommon as it might be, I approve of this relationship and I beg you to keep it a secret. Rose is still underage, even if not in life experience though still in years.” Dumbledore peered over the rim of his spectacles and, after everyone had nodded, the cordial smile reappeared on his face.

It seemed that Flitwick and Sprout took the news far better than McGonagall had done. They had only a few more questions and as they were answered to their satisfaction there remained only another small formality. Dumbledore informed the Heads of the Houses about an authorisation notification for something Rose didn´t understand, and actually didn´t care about as well, but after that everyone was dismissed.

McGonagall stayed behind, taking now a seat in front of the fire rather than staying in the slightly more uncomfortable chair she´d occupied until then.

Luna was already gone. Rose and Severus followed Sprout and Flitwick downstairs. But as it appeared as if Sprout would try to engage them into further conversation, Severus waved quickly his farewell and swept urgently away, leaving Rose behind to follow.

“You could have warned me before fleeing and abandoning me with a soppy Sprout and overly excited Flitwick. Sprout fussed all the time about me and told me at least a hundred times that she thinks we´re oh so sweet and what a good influence I have on you,” Rose muttered as she threw the door close behind her and turned an annoyed gaze towards Severus. Though he didn´t even look at her but stared unseeing into thin air, obviously brooding.

“Hey!” Rose lowered herself on the armrest of Severus´ chair, touching carefully his cheek. “Is something the matter?”

“What? No, no, I thought about something,” he said but seemed still far away.

“Are you sure?”

Severus finally looked at Rose and smiled. “It´s fine. I thought about something you said back in summer. Maybe you remember. You told me you wanted to be a Healer, to rescue Lupin and his flee-bitten comrades.” Rose scowled at the flee comment but kept her mouth shut. “Maybe I have an idea. But I need some time for research.”

“An idea?” Rose asked excited. “Can I help you?”

“Not at the moment. I will need to read a lot before…” Severus´ voice trailed off as he stared again unseeing at the opposite wall. Rose waved her hand in front of his face but gained no reaction. Chuckling lowly, she stood up and curled into the other armchair. She rested her cheek on the armrest and was content with watching Severus ponder whatever haunted his mind. His forehead was creased in concentration and sometimes his lips moved in silent mumbling, but he never woke from his self-induced contemplating stupor.

***

“Rose.”

Rose woke with a start, gazing confused around until she acknowledged where she was. Severus´ hand lingered still on her shoulder where he had shaken her softly. Dizzy from sleeping, Rose licked over her lips. Blinking herself into a state of wakefulness.

“We missed dinner,” Severus announced with a frown. He, on his part, had been so deep in thoughts he hadn´t noticed how time lapsed around him. Their absence would certainly only rekindle the currently ceasing rumours. But there was nothing that could be done about it, really, and actually Severus found, he didn´t care particularly at the moment. He smiled softly at Rose´s sleep-mussed hair and disoriented gazes and bent forward, brushing a kiss on her lips.

“Mmmmm,” she hummed and gently sucked his bottom lip into her mouth, holding him back from breaking the kiss. His arms came around her back, cradling her close to him as he pulled her with him. Stumbling, they collapsed onto the sofa, with Severus on top of Rose, pinning her down and moving his attention from her mouth to her neck. Only recently he had found out that there was this small dent right under Rose´s ear that elicited the sweetest gasps from her and made her frequently squirm and shudder. Never would he waste the opportunity to nibble and kiss exactly there to gain the desired effect.

“Severus, I need to go.” Rose said but rolled her head away to give him better access to her neck. Damnation, she shouldn´t have fallen asleep. She really had no time for this here now, no matter how much she loved it. Reluctantly Rose pushed on Severus´ shoulders, causing him indeed to stop. “I have a mountain of homework,” she muttered and added with a slight pout, “Especially from this grumpy, old git who teaches Potions.” She winked and grinned.

“Say that again and this grumpy, old git will grade you with T,” Severus growled, though his eyes twinkled mischievously. He recaptured Rose´s lips and kissed her so intense she got all flushed and breathless.

“Not fair!” Rose panted and tried again to push Severs away. “Please, let me go…”

“Hmmmm, I don´t think so…” He nibbled playfully on her earlobe before he travelled further down to her throat. He felt her goose-flesh under his lips and was rewarded with a small moan as he scratched the sensitive skin over her larynx with his teeth. He did it again and the sound went straight to his groin, made his head swim.

“If you´d know how mad you make me,” he rasped, accentuating his words by capturing the rim of her ear between his teeth, probing it teasingly with his tongue and then swiftly reclaiming her mouth.

Rose´s pupils were wide with arousal and her lips slightly parted as she looked at him. Arching to lean her forehead against his, she raked her fingers through his hair. “You´re right, I don´t know.” She swallowed before she kissed him again. “I really need to go.”

“Well. If you really have to…” Severus rather had her with him all the night but knew it wasn´t possible without rousing suspicions, though there were other ways she´d think of him. His eyes wandered from Rose´s lips to her neck. He smirked.

“No…” Rose said as she saw his lingering gaze. Her hand flew up to her neck. Severus laughed gleefully as he moved to let her go up and she rushed over to the mirror.

Blatantly visible shone a new love bite at her throat. Rose turned and glared across the room.

“Great! Really! You promised to stop that! How shall I explain that?”

Still laughing, Severus shrugged. “I changed my mind. Just don´t let them know from whom you got it.” His eyes twinkled.

“Haha. Stop trying to be a prankster,” Rose said with a disgruntled huff.


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: This story is rated explicit for a reason.   
>  If you don´t want to read sexual violence, don´t read this chapter.

<<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>> 

“But why is she allowed and I´m not?” Rose stood in the middle of Severus´ study and gestured wildly over to Luna.

“Because Luna knows what she´s doing,” Severus said, with an air of exasperation creeping in into his voice. They argued in a circle and meanwhile for so long that Luna was already almost done with her preparations.

“I know what I´m doing, too. I improved a lot.” Rose barely refrained from stamping her foot on the floor in something close to a petulant fit.

“Yes, I´ve seen that the last time as I´d let you have your way and the damned potion exploded and burnt both of us,” Severus snarled. No matter how much he loved Rose, or maybe just because of that, but the impertinent, back-talking, infuriating woman was so close to getting hexed she actually should already feel the magic prickling on her skin.

“That´s just not fair,” Rose all but whined. “How shall I ever improve when you watch me so closely you´re almost smothering me.”

Luna watched the scene from behind her cauldron while adding ingredients seemingly by chance. She smiled softly before she returned her concentration to her potion.

“So every time you cock up your potion it´s actually my fault, because I try to help you?”

“You´re not helping me, you´re perpetually nagging and correcting every step of the process. Rose, do this. Rose, don´t do that. Blimey Rose, never again do that shite but if you´d done it this fucking way…blah, blah, blah.”

Severus and Rose stared at each other as she finally stopped her tirade. Their chests were heaving under their heavy breaths. Both were positively fuming and neither of them ready to give in.

“Professor Snape?” Luna chimed in softly, tearing his attention from Rose.

“Speak,” Severus grumbled through gritted teeth.

“I don´t think Rose´s problem is that she doesn´t know what she´s doing or that she has bad instincts. You only need to trust her. She won't mess up.” The Ravenclaw girl placed her silver knife on the workbench and crossed the room. Without hesitation and not the least shy, she took Severus´ hand and then Rose´s, bringing them together. “Trust her in this like you do in everything else, too,” Luna said and stepped back with a satisfied nod.

Severus considered Luna´s words for a moment, gazing down on his and Rose´s joined hands.

“I **do** trust you,” he said calmly. He lifted his gaze to Rose´s face. She still was angry but seemed currently trying to swallow it.

“I know,” she said finally with a deep sigh. “But not when I brew. I think you still see me as the girl I have been the previous years where I really had no idea what I was doing. It´s sweet that you don´t want me to make mistakes, but you won´t let me make use of my theoretical knowledge and that holds me back. What means I will never perform as I think I might be able to.”

Severus sighed. “Ok, show me. Take your book. Page 36 and start. I will not interfere unless you want me too.” Against his own rule to work first and be a couple afterwards, especially now with Luna attending the lesson too, he bent down and kissed Rose on the head, expanding the kiss to her mouth as she looked up. Smiling, Rose scurried over to Luna and started working.

A few times, Severus opened his mouth or reached out to Rose but willed himself each and every time to look away instead and let her work. At some point he started pacing in front of his bookshelves but stopped as Rose growled annoyed. Luna smiled repeatedly at him or nodded and finally Severus kept himself from fretting by resuming to his research on Wolfsbane and lycanthropy in general.

Rose´s potion was no masterpiece in the end but far better than Severus had expected. He nodded satisfied. “It appears I need to thank you, Luna, for pointing out my mistake to me. Rose, I have to apologise, I should have seen the real problem. You both did very well.” The girls smiled at his praise and Rose pecked Severus quickly on the cheek.

After the work place was tidied up and Luna had left, Severus pulled Rose into his arms and kissed her thoroughly. That was what he was looking forward to every time she stepped into his quarters. And Rose seemed to keep being right, he hated his own rule and wished each time more she would work faster. Severus was fairly sure not long and he would throw this damned rule out of the non-existing dungeon window.

“I thought about a small trip during Easter break,” he said, surprising Rose. “It would be only one day but we could go away from the castle for a moment. What do you think?” He had pondered the idea for some time now and even discussed it lengthy with Albus. It was not entirely riskless to bring Rose out of the castle grounds but seeing her eyes glitter and the broad smile brightening her face convinced him that it was a good idea.

“One day? Only the two of us and away from prying eyes? That sounds just like my dreams come true.”

“Perfect! We leave Saturday morning so we´ll be back for dinner and won´t miss anything of the Easter fun Dumbledore has planned,” Severus said with a sour expression. He had no idea why the Headmaster loved feasts that much, but apparently he did and therefore seized every opportunity to celebrate something to indulge in what he thought was fun.

***

It was a relative warm day for mid-April and Rose had decided to wear a dress. Knee length and cornflower blue. She matched it with a white jacket and peered at her mirror-self, critically.

“You look great. Stay like this and go. He will only be irritated when you´re late.” Hermione smiled encouragingly from behind her. Rose sighed but followed her friend´s advice, though stopping briefly at the door.

“Could you send Hedwig with my letter to Charlie and Oli? I forgot yesterday and they certainly wait already for their weekly update.” Rose grinned as she thought about the two men. They´d grown quite close over the last months and wrote letters every week. They were always excited to hear news from her and Severus, and Rose was happy to call the two her friends.

Hermione took the letter and nodded but then shooed her vigorously away.

“Good morning,” Rose beamed and pirouetted one time around herself, making her dress billow around her knees, as she reached the portal where Severus already waited for her. Though his expression was everything but angry. Actually he seemed to have minor problems to keep his mouth from hanging open.

“Good morning. You look beautiful,” he said lowly and walked her quickly out of the castle with one hand on her back. Thank goodness it was too early for the common student to be awake and so no one would watch them slip away.

“So, what exactly are we doing today? You´ve been awfully vague about it,” Rose asked as they passed the gates of the Hogwarts grounds.

“First we collect something in Hogsmeade and then I´ll bring you somewhere where we can just be for ourselves.”

“Oh great…now I know so much more.” Rose shook her head, but her step was light and bouncy with excitement.

***

“And what do you think?” Severus asked tensed up.

“It´s perfect!” Rose smiled genuinely and wrapped her arms around him, stretching up for a kiss.

They stood on a clearing somewhere in a forest where Severus had arranged a picnic for them. In Hogsmeade, they had collected some butterbeer before Severus had apparated them to their current timeout-place.

“When have you done all this?” Rose asked, peering down at the blanket where already the content of a nearby sitting basket was laid out.

“The food is from the kitchen, Dobby was overly joyful to prepare it and I came here earlier today. To be true as you came down I was merely a minute back.”

“You´re the best,” Rose said.

Severus said nothing but returned her smile, pressed her more firmly against him and kissed her until he felt her hands nestling with the buttons on his jacket.

“Here?” he asked a bit uncertain, gazing cautiously around.

“Are you afraid someone could watch?” Without breaking eye contact she wriggled out of her knickers and toed them aside.

“No, there should be no one around in a radius of a few kilometres,” he breathed, eying her underwear a few steps away while licking his lips.

“Then stop complaining,” Rose said. She finished unbuttoning his jacket as well as his waistcoat before she focused on his belt. Finally she pushed his trousers down.

“Sit,” she whispered and grinned as he willingly obeyed.

“You´ll be the death of me,” Severus gasped as Rose straddled his thighs.

“I don´t hope so.” She entangled his cravat to reveal the skin of his neck. She loved kissing him there and knew Severus loved it as well. But she felt not overly patient today and quickly kissed a trail down his chest and over his stomach to her actual destination, wrapping her lips around him. Turning him on with sucking him fully hard was something Rose had never thought she would enjoy so immensely, but she did and it aroused her to hear his needy moans, knowing she was the very reason for them.

By the time she let go of his throbbing erection they were both panting and Severus pulled Rose up to him.

“Tease,” he whispered but stopped complaining immediately as she lowered herself onto him.

***

“My sun,” Severus whispered, bathing in the afterglow of their intimacy. “You make my whole life brighter.”

Tenderly Rose stroked some stray strands of hair out of his eyes.

“I love you, too.” She kissed him before he pulled away leaving her with a feeling of emptiness and the loss of his warmth. But as soon as they had adjusted their clothes, Severus wrapped his arm around her shoulder and brought her close again.

“So you want to have a taste of all the delicious things Dobby has made for us?”

“Definitely!” Rose smiled, popping already a strawberry into her mouth.

***

“Do we really have to go back?” Rose asked in the late afternoon as Severus stood up and started to collect their things. The day had been the best she could remember. All sorrows which usually followed her when at school seemed so far away that they were only small and insignificant. Everything what was important was her time with Severus, alone.

“I´m afraid, and if we don´t go back Dumbledore will only organise a search party. I´m not sure I want to risk that. But given that there are no classes the next days we can maybe spend more time together. And if someone asks stupid questions, what is quite frankly not precluded, I just turn it into detentions for being mouthy.” Severus smirked and pressed a kiss to her lips. “Come. You need to change before you can go to dinner.”

Sighing, Rose grabbed Severus´ arm and let him apparate them back into Hogsmeade.

But arriving in the village, they found nothing but screams and chaos. Spells flew everywhere and people ran around. Reflexively Severus pushed Rose behind him and drew his wand.

“Who are they?” Rose asked more shocked than frightened. Someone strangely familiar rushed towards them.

“Severus?” Approaching them, they recognised Charlie Weasley who threw spell after spell over his back.

“What are you doing here?...Rose? Blimey, Severus, bring her away!” Charlie dragged them behind a corner, out of direct sight from the street. “Really, you´ll need to find a way back to the castle. You can´t apparate the Ministry set antiapparition wards.”

“What´s going on?” Severus asked urgently, peering around the corner and spying a Death Eater the same moment Charlie explained the situation.

“Bellatrix and friends showed up earlier this afternoon and soon after their antagonist’s joined the party. They attack everything and everyone crossing their way. The whole Order and half of the Auror Department are here, even Minister Scrimgeour is here somewhere.”

“Ok.” Severus nodded shortly to Charlie before he grabbed Rose´s hand and dragged her along with him. “Rose, listen. We need to get out of here. Irrelevant what happens around you, you stay at my side!” To clarify his statement, Severus tightened his grip around her hand and hurried over the main road into a smaller side path.

It looked good at first and they made it halfway through the village as suddenly several hexes flew towards them. Severus shoved Rose to the ground and fired back. Rose crawled away to recollect her wand and sent different hexes around before she came back to her feet. She turned just in time to stun someone but didn´t notice the second man who had come up behind her, gripping her around the waist and lifting her up. Her first thought was it was Severus who tried to bring her faster away, but it was not Severus. He stood several metres away and fought with everything he had against the Carrow twins and Mulciber, all three of them mask-less and recognisable.

“Oi, see who´s there…” The sleek voice of her attacker purred into her ear. Rose wanted to scream and alert Severus, but the man covered her mouth with his paw-like hand. Stuck in his arms, he dragged her away from the fight and out of sight from Severus. A little outside the village, he dropped her to the ground. She hit hard and spraint her wrist in the attempt to soften the fall. Nonetheless Rose tried to crawl away, but the man grabbed her playfully and pinned her down with his weight .

“You´re so beautiful little birdie,” he whispered roughly and stroked over her breasts. Rose squirmed and writhed to get free but in vain. “I don´t think Bella minds when I have a little fun with you before I bring you to her, as long as you live she won´t care.” The Death Eater lifted his mask and licked over Rose´s face, leaving a wet trail from her chin up to her temple, while one of his hands ripped her underpants away.

“No, no, please,” Rose whimpered. “Just bring me to Bellatrix…Please don’t do that…”

“Be quiet!” he hissed. His wand appeared in Rose´s focus and she felt cold panic flood her body as he whispered an immobilising spell. She sobbed and noticed only vaguely that she still had her voice. Though an invisible force deprived her of struggling against the man above her, she still could plead with him, not that it changed anything.

Tears streaked down Rose´s face as he cut her remaining clothes open. An ugly, greedy grin distorted his face. His blue eyes glittered in satisfaction. Rose started to scream as loud as she was able to as he licked over her breasts, but he wrapped his large hand around her throat, making it impossible to breath not to mention bring any sound out.

“Stop it,” he snarled and fumbled on his robes, pushing them aside and freeing his erection. “A shame I have not enough time to stuff your pretty mouth with something to shut you up more effectively.” 

The pressure on Rose´s throat increased, her vision blurred and darkened. Her lungs screamed for air while her brain screamed in panic. The man above her grunted. His hot, stale breath brushed almost tenderly over her face. Whatever resistance had been in Rose until now crumpled into ashes as the finality of her helpless impotence burned through her. It wasn´t that she simply accepted her fate, no, but to some extent, she accepted that she had no say in her current situation. And the impending faint was more than welcome to her. She opened her mental arms and embraced the darkness like a comforting blanket, enveloped herself into it and let go.

The last thing Rose felt before she lost consciousness was the man breaching her and then the world turned thankfully black.

***

Severus made an unexpected move and stupefied both Carrow´s in one go. Defending himself only against Mulciber gave him time to look around.

“Rose!” he yelled as he saw how Avery dragged her away. Furious he attacked Mulciber, striking him with a blasting hex and almost killing the man. But Severus didn´t care. What was that life to him when Rose was in danger? Despite the urgency of his departure, he made sure to secure the three Death Eaters by summoning robes before he ran after Rose.

On a crossroad, he was forced to stop. His gaze flicked wildly around. Which way was the right one? He had no time to check all directions. Not when Avery brought Rose to Bellatrix, not even if he didn´t. Desperately he plunged into the closest street which led out of the village, following his instincts, and thanks to every might above, he was right. He saw already from afar Avery´s prone form, but what he noticed then made his blood freeze and boil simultaneously. A deafening raging turmoil roused him.

Avery lay with parted robes above Rose, one of his hands around her neck. Rose didn´t move and it was unmistakably what happened there.

With overwhelming ire Severus shot a deflecting charm at Avery. He flew away and the instant he crashed to the ground, Severus sent a Cruciatus after. Wouldn´t it been for Rose he´d love to proceed in this manner, but Rose still did not move.

He crouched next to her. He felt her pulse and found it light but steady. A dark purple bruise twined around her neck and Severus´ barely composed mind flared again with fury.

Severus lifted the curse from Avery, conjured again ropes to bind the unconscious man and sent a Patronus to the Order to make sure he would be found.

With utmost care, Severus wrapped Rose into his jacket and lifted her gingerly into his arms.


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello,
> 
> I´m sorry for yesterday´s chapter. I really am, but it happened.  
> It´s getting better again. The work title is a hint, though.   
> You like happy ends? I indeed wrote one. Yes I can, even though I rarely do ;) But you have a few chapters to go first.
> 
> Have a nice day everyone and thanks to sticking to this story! :)

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Rose was in the infirmary as she opened her eyes. She heard loud voices and sat up to distinguish from where they came. Her head hurt as did actually her whole body but especially her throat. Cautiously she touched it and her mind cleared instantly and caught up with the recent events. A sobbed gasp escaped her before she buried her face into her hands.

"Let me through now!" Severus yelled and seconds later, Rose felt his arms around her shivering body. He held and rocked her all the way through her breakdown and a little longer after she felt too exhausted and dried-up to produce a single tear but still sought his comfort.

But finally Severus pushed her tenderly away, though never breaking contact to her, and Madam Pomfrey stepped to her side.

"I'm sorry dear, but I need to ask you a few questions." The woman glanced at Snape and Rose shook instantly her head.

"No. Please. Don't make him go," she pleaded.

"Ok. But Rose, my further proceeding depends on your answers," Pomfrey announced and waited for Rose to nod before she went on, "Were you still a virgin before today?"

Rose eyed her hands, her cheeks glowing pink as she shook her head.

"Did your attacker enter you?"

Severus gnashed his teeth audible and Rose hesitated. She gazed sheepishly up to Madam Pomfrey.

"Yes," she whispered and sobbed dryly. Severus took a laboured breath, his jaw set while in his head played a colourful composition of various ways to torture Avery and Bellatrix for hurting Rose in this way.

"I'm really sorry, Rose, but then I need to examine you to make sure you´re all right. Severus, please wait outside."

Madam Pomfrey pulled the curtain around Rose's bed and thus blocked Rose from view.

Rose endured everything with blank expression, her gaze fixed on the ceiling. She didn´t hear only one of the softly uttered words of Madam Pomfrey which were surely meant to reassure her but were drowned out by her own internal turmoil.

As Pomfrey was finished, Rose didn´t want to hear what she found. Not before Severus was back at her side. She needed him close no matter what the result was.

However, alongside Severus came Dumbledore who didn't look at Rose but faced Pomfrey with a stern look.

“Is it ok for you when Professor Dumbledore is here?” The nurse asked, sending a disapproving frown towards the Headmaster.

“He will know anyway…” Rose said completely drained of emotions and shrugged. Severus sat down on her bed and wrapped her in his arms again. Immediately her indifferent, stony demeanour crumpled into shivering devastation and she buried her face into his chest.

“Be that as it may, it is your decision.” Madam Pomfrey waited a brief moment but Severus indicated with an impatient jerk of his head for her to get over with it, while Rose hung in his arms, not looking up and heaving forceful, dry sobs into his chest. Pomfrey watched the scene discomforted and eventually poured a calming potion down Rose´s throat. 

“You have no injuries what indicates sadly nothing as you yourself said he immobilised you, so you could not fight against him anymore,” Pomfrey said as Rose was composed enough to listen. “But,” she begun haltingly, “I found semen, so…”

She stopped as Rose shook her head.

“I had sex earlier…” she admitted nearly inaudible and Poppy, as well as Dumbledore, looked at Severus.

Madam Pomfrey curled her lips, her eyebrow arched sharply up, but she did not comment on it.

“Is there a way to find out if it´s only mine?” Severus asked a lot calmer than he felt, especially with even Dumbledore glaring at him. Merlin, as if he´d done anything immoral or insubordinate.

“There is, but it needs further testing.”

“Then do it,” Rose pleaded. She clutched again on Severus and was thankful for his silent support.

“I´ll only be a moment, though you´ll stay overnight, anyway.” The witch scurried away and left Rose alone with the two men.

“Albus, honestly! Stop glaring at me! What did you think? We´d cuddle a bit and that´s it?” Severus groused and shifted in an almost petulant demonstrative motion closer to Rose.

Dumbledore shook his head, but his face softened. He patted Severus´ shoulder and made, still silent, his way to the infirmary doors as just those burst open and an overtly upset Sirius stormed in.

Severus jumped off the bed and straightened himself as Rose´s godfather followed by Remus and the whole bunch of Weasley´s, Hermione and Draco filled the room. But Rose grasped his arm, pulling him back as far as possible without pulling him on top of the bed again.

“What did you do to her?” Sirius yelled out of his mind. “Why were you there? She could´ve got killed!” Remus had to manhandle Sirius away to prevent him from launching himself at Severus who plucked cautiously Rose´s hand from his arm as she still refused to lessen her pull on him. He took her hand and gave it a squeeze before letting go and resting his own hand on her shoulder.

Sirius kept raging until Remus pushed him into one corner and spoke intently but lowly with him. The rest of the visitors spoke wildly over each other. Everyone tried to gain more information from Madam Pomfrey and quicker as the others. Above the ensuing chaos, neither of them watched Rose. She was pale and started trembling again what only Severus noted. He turned to her and saw her rigid posture and shock widened eyes. He´d love nothing more than to hold her through the rest of the day and make sure she was all right, but with her family in the room all he could do was squeezing her shoulder and keeping the appropriate distance. Which indistinct distance that ever might be in the opinion of those individuals.

“Poppy, make sure she´s all right,” Severus said after stepping away from Rose. Molly Weasley stopped her flood of questions and looked surprised from Severus over to Rose. Only now the rest of the rooms´ occupants noticed how wretched Rose seemed what again only fuelled Sirius´ anger. And Remus had yet again to restrain Sirius in his attempt to attack Severus with more than words.

“I suggest we go to my office and give Rose the time she needs,” Dumbledore offered what unmistakeably was not discussable.

He ushered everyone out of the room, but Rose sobbed as Severus aimed to leave and stared with horrified widened eyes at him.

“Don´t leave me…Please…I don´t care what everyone thinks, but don´t go,” she whimpered with tears in her eyes.

Severus looked uncertain from Rose to Madam Pomfrey and to the door where Dumbledore still stood and hindered Sirius to re-enter the room.

“Rose, I need quiet for the examination and afterwards you´ll take a sleeping potion. You´ll be ok. And Severus needs to explain things,” Madam Pomfrey said softly and started to shut the curtains around the bed again. Severus gave the woman a grateful look and bent to press a gentle kiss on Rose´s head before he stepped past the curtain and joined Dumbledore and the others to sort things out.

***

“I see, your return was an unfortunate timing but gladly you found Rose and prevented the worst,” Dumbledore concluded Severus´ report of the events.

Without exception everyone in the office was silent. Suddenly Molly Weasley stood up and hauled Severus into an unexpected, overly affectionate hug.

“If it weren´t for you…” she sobbed but Sirius jumped up and interrupted her.

“If it weren´t for him, Rose hadn´t been in this situation in the first place!”

To everyone’s surprise Severus nodded after he´d managed to entangle himself from Molly.

“You´re right. It´s my fault,” he said gravely.

“Rubbish! Who could´ve guessed this would happen?” Bill stood up, also ready to put Sirius in his place if needed.

Dumbledore held his hands up, placatingly.

“Please, no one is at fault but those two groups and we have more things to discuss,” Dumbledore remarked with an air of impatience. “We are in a dire situation. The Minister is dead which means the Ministry will need every support they can get. I hope my guidance will be appreciated as well as my endeavour to help and find quickly a new candidate for the position of the Minister of Magic.” Dumbledore sighed wearily, his gaze wandering to Severus. “Severus, I wish to appoint you Temporary Headmaster of Hogwarts for the unforeseeable future.”

“What?” Severus spluttered caught off-guard.

“Minerva recovers in St. Mungo´s.”

Severus gaze sharpened. “What? Why?”

Dumbledore´s expression turned devastated for the moment of a heartbeat. “She was hit by a severing spell which missed her heart only by inches, so we can justly say it was scarce, but she will survive. Thank Merlin. Anyway, she is not available and my business in the Ministry and the upcoming trials are not to be delayed. I won´t be present most of the time,” Dumbledore explained. He gave Severus an apologetic smile.

Severus tried to wrap his mind around the new development but finally nodded once that he understood. And he did understand the urgency and the reasons why Albus saw fit to offer his unrestrained support to the Ministry. Still, it didn´t mean Severus had to like his own new task.

“I´m afraid we need to delay any further discussions as I need to be on my way to London. The last report says that almost every responsible person for today´s events has been caught.” Dumbledore stood up and reached for his travelling cloak. 

“ **Almost** every responsible person?” Severus asked harshly.

“I´m afraid Bellatrix helped the Carrow´s to escape,” Dumbledore said and fastened his cloak.

Severus growled and clenched his jaw in fury, but the Headmaster turned his attention to the rest of the assembled group.

“Hermione, Draco, Ron and Ginny, please go back to your common room. Don´t speak of what you´ve heard. The teacher´s will inform everyone.” He turned halfway to his fireplace as he seemed to remember something. “Remus, would you take Minerva´s post as Head of Gryffindor for the time being?” he asked with a hopeful gaze.

“Of course, I´ll see the students back to the tower and make sure the other Gryffindor´s are all right as well. Rumours spread fast in the castle and least of all we want to create panic, do we?”


	11. Chapter 11

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Rose´s head rested against the cold stone tiles of the shower. The water ran in burning hot rivulets down her body, adding to the sting of rawness of her skin. She´d scrubbed herself thoroughly, obsessed with the need to feel clean again. But the truth was, even now with her skin raw and sensitive, she still felt dirty. Defiled. And nothing could change that, no scrubbing, no scouring spell, nothing. This stain stuck to her and was not to remove. So she thought.

Again Rose turned the water hotter, so hot she got goose-bumps as her body protested against the assault. She shivered and closed her eyes. But doing so only revived the memories of the man´s hand around her neck, his tongue on her skin and his cock…

Rose´s breath hitched in her throat, her stomach cringed with nausea that threatened to overwhelm her and she already tasted bile in her mouth. Quickly, though stumbling, Rose left the shower and bent over the toilette, emptying her stomach, only that there was nothing to empty and the dry heaving of her body only amplified her nausea.

“Rose?” Remus asked through the closed door, knocking tentatively.

Rose let her breath out in a shuddering exhale and slumped down against the wall. She shivered. The wall and floor were cold and water pooled around her.

It knocked again, more forceful. “Rose? Are you all right?” Some unintelligible words were uttered and answered. “Rose, if you don´t answer I´ll come in.” Remus sounded genuinely worried.

“Bloody hell, Rose! Answer us,” Sirius shouted seconds later, sounding equally worried about her prolonged silence.

Rose cursed herself for her decision to go to Remus. But it had been her only possibility, or it had appeared like it. The prospect of taking this shower in the communal bathroom she shared with her dormitory-mates had been less than appealing and her actual first place to go, Severus, had seemed too far away. Alone the thought of crossing the whole castle and descending to the dungeons had been exhausting beyond everything, especially with the uncertainty of how many students she´d meet on her way. Remus´ quarters on the other side were only one floor above the infirmary and had been therefore the shortest way with the smallest chance of meeting anyone.

“Rose!” Sirius seemed determined to shred the door with his bare hands as he banged continuingly against it. Rose felt bad for causing the men such trouble, but she couldn´t help it. She closed her ears against the noise and the pleas and shouts and crawled back into the shower where the blazing hot water welcomed her back as she rolled up into a tiny ball on the floor.

Rose had no idea how much time had passed as the door crashed open, splinters flying everywhere, and Sirius burst into the room.

“For heaven´s sake, Rose!” he yelped.

Rose didn´t open her eyes or reacted in any other way as continued pretence of not feeling anything, until the water was shut off and Sirius tried to wrap her into a towel. Rose shook her self-chosen paralysis off, jumped up and glared at her godfather.

“Leave me the fuck alone! I´m fine!” she spat, shielding her nakedness with the towel.

“Fine?” Sirius asked. His whole body shook with barely contained anger, but his worry bled in on the edges, softening his churning emotions to some degree. “You gave no answer. For over an hour. And now you´re scalded almost to blistering. So don´t tell me how damn fine you are!” he roared as his restraint slipped with every passing word and he grasped for Rose.

“Don´t. Touch. Me.” Rose shied away, backing against the wall but kept glowering.

“Sirius, leave her be,” Remus said softly from behind.

Clearly against his own will, Sirius turned and after staring at Remus, he stomped away. They heard two doors fall shut as he left the quarters.

Remus regarded Rose warily, unsure what to do and what was allowed at all. But he, too, saw of course her damaged skin, the angry red colour of the burn and the desperate expression in her eyes which she tried hurriedly to disguise with a new glare.

“Stop gawping at me. I needed some time for thinking, but now I´m fine,” she said but with much less venom than before.

“Your skin has to be treated or else it will become infected.” Remus took a tentative step into the bathroom. “I have something,” he said, pointing at the cupboard next to Rose.

Rose nodded and waited for Remus to finish rummaging through the cupboard until he held up a jar with a pearly white content.

“I know, it smells horrible. But it helps,” Remus said sympathetically as Rose wrinkled her nose in disgust as he opened the jar.

“If you say so.” Rose eyed the salve suspiciously but finally reached out and dipped one finger inside. It was more a gel and surprisingly cool with a silken texture, actually rather pleasant if it hadn´t been for the smell. Rose stroked over her arm and the skin paled almost immediately to a soft pink, taking the greatest sting of the pain, though preserving a certain sensitivity. “Thank you.” Rose smiled softly and then, surprising not only Remus, asked, “Could you?” and turned around, showing Remus her back.

***

After having spent so much time in the shower, Rose had missed breakfast completely but was just in time for Severus´ speech. She hurried to her friends who had kept a free seat next to them. Severus waited patiently with his hands crossed behind his back until Rose sat down, watching her closely for any sign of distress or imminent breakdown. After finding neither the former nor the letter, he cleared his throat soundly.

“Listen, everyone!” he called and acknowledged satisfied that immediately the whole Great Hall lapsed into silence. “After yesterday’s attack in Hogsmeade, I see fit to notify you about the true facts of the matter, mostly to prevent new rumours from sprouting. Except for three people everyone got caught. I assure you there is no reason to panic.” Severus gazed pointedly around. Most of the students looked pale-faced up at him. Though they had already tried to calm the students yesterday, there were still enough unsettling rumours in circulation. And what Severus had heard from his colleagues, the students worried about Professor McGonagall. Offering a warmer tone, Severus went on, “I know many of you are worried about Professor McGonagall. Contrary to the rumours, she is not dead but will stay in St. Mungo´s until she is fully recovered from her injuries. In consequence of that and the absence of Professor Dumbledore for an unterminated period of time, I will substitute as Headmaster of Hogwarts.” Severus didn´t wonder about the ensuing whispers and simply raised his voice a little to talk over them, “There is one last issue. You all will have heard about Rose Potter and that something happened to her. I implore you to leave her be, even though it may itch you to learn more. Everything you need to know is that she had to experience a traumatic event while Hogsmeade was under attack. If she is inclined to let anyone know, she will do so herself. Everyone who harasses her or starts blathering again will serve detention. If that means to put the whole school into detention, the Professors will see to it.” Severus closed his speech with a stern look that left no room for speculations if he was serious or not about what he had said. However, as his gaze fell on Rose it softened considerably.

Rose returned Severus´ gaze and even managed to will her mouth into a smile. Everywhere around her rustled robes as most of the students stood up to leave. Loads of curious glances found their way towards Rose but with the still fresh threat of detention and the whole staff members in earshot, no one dared to say anything aloud.

“Are you all right?” Hermione asked and leant closer.

Rose nodded quickly and stood up, bringing some space between herself and Hermione. “I´m fine. Look, I need to speak to Sirius. I´ll see you later in the common room.” Hastily she scurried away and, because she had said so, walked over to Sirius who had sat on the Head Table with Remus.

“Hey,” she said meekly. “I´m sorry for earlier. I shouldn´t have snapped at you. It´s not your fault that I´m a bit tetchy today.”

Sirius groaned with an anguished expression and wrapped his arms around Rose.

“Don´t you dare apologising for that. I was worried, is all. It´s ok.”

If he noticed that Rose had stiffened in his arms then he didn´t show it or didn´t care because he seemed not having planned to let her go anytime soon. Though thankfully, Severus came to her rescue.

“Rose, may I have a word with you about the future of your extra lessons?”

Sirius indeed let go of her and instead glared at Severus.

“Yes, of course. Right now?” Rose asked, ignoring the grumbling of her godfather.

“If it wouldn´t be too inconvenient,” Severus said, eyeing Sirius with an arched eyebrow.

“No, no. Of course not. I´ll see you later, yes?” she asked Sirius but turned already to leave after Severus.

They hadn´t walked far from the Great Hall as Mr Filch jogged towards them, plainly out of breath.

“Pro-Professor Snape,” he wheezed, “there are two gentlemen from the Auror Department who wish to speak to you.”

Severus nodded curtly. “Please guide them to the Head Office, I´ll be there in a minute.” With curled lips he watched the caretaker jog away again before he turned with an apologetic sigh to Rose. “I´m sorry.”

“It´s all right. Go,” Rose said with an assuring nod.

“But how are you?” he explored, reaching out to touch Rose´s elbow.

“I´m fine. You shouldn´t let them wait.”

Severus closed briefly his eyes, pinching the bridge of his nose.

“We´ll talk later,” he said and swept away.


	12. Chapter 12

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Rose didn´t see Severus later. Actually, she didn´t see him at all for several days. And no matter how compassionate and understanding her friends were and how much she loved the security of Remus´ quarters and his fussing about her with tea and chocolate alongside Sirius´ gruff comfort, Rose missed Severus more with each passing second. He had delayed all of her extra lessons until further notice and the few times Rose had tried to catch him in his quarters, long after curfew, she got sorely disappointed to find him not present. However, it wasn´t only that she missed him as her boyfriend. She missed his silent, unwavering ability to ground her, to give her the feeling to be safe, something she was dearly in need of with her nights disrupted by nightmares and her days bordering on a sick play in some cheap theatre where she again and again assured everyone that she was all right. No matter that she wasn´t, but never would she allow herself to break down for everyone to see. She´d weathered entirely different storms and she would conquer this one as well. However, having Severus close would help the matter, would give her hollow shell meaning again. Because she felt like a hollow shell. And she wished for nothing more than being filled with Severus, actually quite literally. Sometimes she thought it was a little unsettling how much she longed for his touch when on the other side she couldn´t even stand the casual touches she received daily without flinching. The all-time exception here was Remus again. Somehow it was bearable, even comforting, to let him embrace her, but he still settled most of the time for small, reassuring pats on her back or the occasional squeeze of her hand. Quite as if he knew exactly that this was easier for her.

“Rose?” Remus´ soft voice and the briefest touch on her knee brought her out of her reverie. She noticed the cup of tea in her hands, untouched and long gone cold. Blinking, she pulled her gaze away from the stain on the wooden coffee table and looked up at Remus. She smiled, like she did always recently. A soft upwards curve of her lips, so small that it was almost not there and definitely not strong enough to reach her eyes but was meant to reassure everyone around her that she was all right.

“I´m sorry, I got swept up in thoughts,” she said and added as an omnipresent afterthought, “I´m fine.”

Remus regarded her with a long gaze that said clearly that he didn´t believe a single word of her lately, but before he could say anything, the door burst open and Sirius marched in, grinning broadly and unloading a giant paper bag on the coffee table, hiding the stain Rose had stared at under a mountain of sweets.

“I left a fortune at Honeyduke´s,” he laughed, “Only to satisfy your cravings for chocolate.”

Rose stood up and returned Sirius´ grin. “You´re the best!” She picked her favourite chocolate bar, the one which was actually treacle tarte covered with chocolate, and sat back down, munching happily. Remus pecked Sirius on the cheek, grinning and turning away as Sirius tried to kiss him properly. Instead Remus picked up a box of chocolates and popped one into his mouth, smile widening. 

“Oh, and I have this,” Sirius said, tearing his gaze apart from Remus, and angled a piece of paper from his back pocket, giving it to Rose.

Rose flung the chocolate aside and grasped for the note. Her heart doubled its speed while she unfolded the paper with shaking fingers. Inside she spied what she had so dearly hoped for. Severus wanted to see her finally. She jumped up and was already halfway to the door as she halted briefly.

“I need to go, extra lessons tonight,” she gasped and disappeared.

Remus stared after her, turning as Sirius spluttered, “But it´s not even time for dinner.”

***

Over the course of the remaining Easter break Severus found no time to see Rose. No matter how he scheduled meetings and arranged his other work around it, his days were simply too short and he already forewent sleep and only ran on brief naps whenever he had a spare minute. School business started already the next day again and Severus noticed guiltily he had not even talked with Rose since they´d been interrupted by Filch.

On a short notice, he shoved any work, if it had to be done or not, away and sent for Rose, waiting almost anxiously for her arrival.

“Rose,” he said softly as she entered his study. She leapt into his arms at once. And before Severus had really time to process what was happening, she had wrapped herself around him and attacked his mouth. Her kiss was ravenously, starved, but oh so sweetly tempting, inviting to ravish her mouth as well. Severus was momentarily off balance. He loved her forwardness but was it right? The attack had been only barely a week ago. And with that thought the temptation faltered.

Gingerly he tugged her away and held her on arm’s length, looking at her seriously. She´d seemingly given her visit some thought and had showered before coming here. Her hair hung still moist over her shoulder and soaked her white shirt, making it transparent in the process. It wasn't easy not to stare but Severus managed and fixed his gaze on Rose's face.

“What? Don´t you want me anymore now that I´m spoiled?” Rose snarled maliciously. She brushed his hands off her and crossed her arms defiantly over her chest. 

“Nonsense and you know that!” Severus said. His concern about her state of mood appeared to be appropriate. “Come.” He turned to walk over to his sofa, but as he sat down and looked back, Rose hadn´t followed. She hadn´t moved at all and simply regarded him with an unreadable expression whose intensity made his skin crawl.

“What is it, dear?” he asked, aiming for casual.

“I missed you…” she said softly.

“I´m sorry. I should have made it possible to see you.” His bad conscience threatened to eat him alive. He had thought so often about Rose, but every time something had delayed his intention of asking her to meet him.

“I know that you´re busy. But it´s not only that I haven´t seen you.” Rose gazed across the room, biting her bottom lip. She knew what she wanted, but she was not sure if Severus was inclined to fulfil her need after his first rejection. Nonetheless she pulled her shirt over her head, sidling closer. “I want you. I want to be close to you and feel you and have you hold and touch and kiss me,” Rose whispered, shocking Severus into open-mouthed paralysis.

Unable to grasp one sensible thought, he watched Rose discard her bra and climb above him, straddling his thighs and twining her arms around his neck. Her face came closer and closer and then he felt her breath at his ear as she whispered, “I need you.”

Severus had not even dared to dream she would want to be intimate again the very same moment they saw each other. His resolve had been to give her every time she needed and he had been profoundly convinced it would be a lot of time. But now it seemed that time was exactly what she didn´t want from him and that derailed his good intentions and left him with no idea how to react properly.

Severus´ train of thoughts was abruptly stopped as Rose sucked on his earlobe. She kissed his jaw and then looked at him.

“Stop overthinking it,” she said and rocked her hips against him.

But Severus couldn´t stop thinking and that was what unlocked his paralysis eventually.

“Rose,” he said, demanding her attention and cupping her face to make sure she would look at him. “I don´t think that is a good idea. It´s too soon af…”

“How will you know what is too soon for me and what is not?” she snapped and shoved him firmly into the backrest of the sofa, stumbling to her feet. “But good to know that you don´t want to touch me.” She went to retrieve her shirt from the floor, wriggling inside. “Then I´ll ask someone else. I´m sure Draco will be delighted.” The words were meant to sting, were meant to rile Severus and coax a reaction from him. And Rose had obviously struck exactly the right chord, seeing that Severus blanched and then virtually flew across the room, pinning her with the force of his kiss against the still closed door.

Whatever noble objections Severus might have had, they dissolved into nothingness as Rose threatened to go and sate her desire with someone else. He knew perfectly well, he played right into her hands, but it was done already. She´d get what she wanted.

“Fuck,” Rose breathed as Severus released her lips and instead mouthed her breasts through the fabric of her shirt.

“Not quite,” he mumbled, pinching one nipple with his lips.

Rose veritably growled at that. Surprised Severus looked up and Rose took the chance to undress hurriedly, diving at him the moment she was naked. Her hands tore and yanked on his clothes in the frantic attempt to get rid of them until she finally aborted her efforts and only shoved his trousers down.

In a flurry of limbs, Severus hoisted Rose into his arms and against the door. Every sense of now blurred into the feeling of them joined, accompanied by the staccato of their breaths and moans. Rose clung to him, her nails dug painfully in his neck. Severus couldn´t help it as he found his release, much too early, pounding Rose a last time into the wood behind her before he froze.

What he had interpreted as moans were actually stifled sobs. Rose trembled in his arms and her grip on his neck hadn´t lessened, would certainly leave bruised imprints of her nails in his flesh.

Devastated about his weakness and recklessness Severus crumpled. His legs gave way and he collapsed to the floor, Rose still in his arms. He couldn´t even find words to apologise.

For a seemingly endless time Rose cried and Severus held her. Just as he was about to shift into a slightly more comfortable position, Rose stopped. It happened so suddenly, so ultimately, that it was as if someone had flipped a switch. Rose leant back and studied his face.

She swallowed.

“I wanted it,” she said shakily. “I really did. But then…You came and I…I couldn´t. I mean, what if…” She knew it made no sense what she stammered, but how could she possibly find the words to describe the fear that had gripped her in that moment?

Severus seemed confused but waited patiently.

“It wasn´t the sex. It was…What if I´m pregnant?”

Severus groaned. That was the last thing he wanted to waste any thought about.

“Why would you think that?”

“Pomfrey, she couldn´t say for sure if there was only your sperm in me,” Rose admitted sheepishly.

The situation was surreal, bizarre, really. If the topic hadn´t been so dire Severus might have laughed about the picture they made. How he sat with a very naked Rose in his equally naked lap and discussed the possibility of her being pregnant after being assaulted by a Death Eater. But he couldn´t laugh. Actually he felt more like getting sick.

“What does that mean?”

Rose exhaled and hung her head, not able to look at Severus.

“I have to see Pomfrey for a check in a few weeks. Only then she can say for sure if I´m pregnant or not.”

“But you take the potion, don´t you?” he asked.

Rose nodded, though hesitantly.

“Rose?” Severus inquired, the nauseous feeling increased, made his stomach roil.

“I forgot it,” Rose whispered and added almost inaudible, “a few times.”

Severus closed his eyes and inhaled. While letting his breath out in one long, controlled flow, he stood up and straightened his clothes. Rose stayed on the floor, her knees drawn up to her chest, shielding her body. Inside Severus raged a battle. He was angry with Rose for being that incautious, foremost because of their situation and that they had to keep it a secret, what was hardly possible if Rose was pregnant. But then how could he really be angry with her after everything that had happened to her?

“Rose. Love,” Severus said carefully and crouched down next to her. “In case you are pregnant, isn´t it far more possible that I am the father?” he reasoned. It was still no appealing thought in the current situation but better than the alternative.

“I don´t want to be pregnant, at all,” Rose said behind her legs, not looking up.

“I know.” And Severus wouldn´t want to be a father, not yet anyway. But what should they do if the worst case came to pass? Hopefully it wouldn´t.


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello you lovely readers!  
> I´m sorry for the long wait, but I have a new job and I still have to find a new rhythm for everything. I hope I will be able to upload more frequently again once I´m settled.   
> But for now, here is a new chapter! Have fun! :)

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“You needn´t loiter about the door, come in and find a seat.”

Rose stopped dead and stared to the front of the class.

“What the hell?” she mumbled, though not low enough not to be heard.

“Language, young lady!” Sirius quipped and grinned. “Surprise.”

“Indeed,” Rose answered, raising an eyebrow. She couldn´t say that she was thrilled about the implications of Sirius in this classroom.

“Heavens, you sound like that greasy bastard,” Sirius muttered, ignoring the fact that students could hear him. Rose´s eyebrow arched higher, but she managed to catch herself before her first thought was over her lips. Instead she forced her facial expression into a smirk.

“Language, old man!”

Sirius laughed, a sharp, bellowing rumble that startled the students around them who´d followed the banter curiously.

“Cheeky brat! Sit down.” He shook his head fondly at Rose and then shifted his attention towards the class. “Everyone, sit down. You all know that our dear Professor McGonagall won´t come back this year, but, however dreadful this is, the lessons have to go on. Luckily the current Headmaster knows about my formidable Transfiguration skills and thus asked me to stay.” Sirius winked at Rose. But she had trouble believing that Severus simply had gone to Sirius and had asked him to help him out and teach. “I´ll admit it came even for me a little unexpected and I´m not prepared for today. But that won´t be a problem at all.” He clapped happily his hands and asked the students to transfigure anything they found into whatever they wanted, no set limits.

The longer Rose sat in the classroom the more uneasy she felt. She´d managed to avoid the other students to the greatest possible extend since she´d left the infirmary. But now that classes started again, she couldn´t hide anymore, because honestly she had went into hiding with all the hours she´d spent in Remus´ quarters, eating chocolate as comfort for her weary soul. After the latest chocolate feast, she´d been rather confident it wouldn´t be too bad to be amongst people, but since breakfast everyone gawped at her. Due to the prohibit, no one dared to ask her openly what had happened, but the everlasting glances made her weary and peevish, more so because she tried strenuously to keep the appearance up that she indeed was all right.

Of course just in this moment, her old friends popped into existence. The little, black bats fluttered excitedly through the room and drew everyone´s attention to Rose. Though, while Draco, Ron and Hermione gave her pitying glances, Sirius burst out into a fit of proud joy about her transfiguration talent. No need to mention that he had no idea she hadn´t transfigured anything into those animals and Rose was clever enough not to mention it either. It was way better to let Sirius belief she managed the task than to alert him to her momentary inability to transfigure anything.

“Help me,” Rose whispered as Sirius turned to someone else, still radiating pride. Hermione waved her wand from under her desk and Rose looked expectant up, but nothing happened. Draco and Ron tried their luck too, but the bats wouldn´t vanish. By the end of the lesson there were even two more.

“Rose, transfigure them back and then you can go,” Sirius said.

Rose looked up, noticed another bat materialising and turned with a lopsided grin to Sirius. “I think I´ll keep them for a while. They´re sweet, aren´t they?”

***

“Severus, damn it, where are you?” Rose muttered and paced up and down in Severus´ study, becoming more and more agitated the longer she paced. She´d skipped dinner in favour to be left alone and in the hope the bats would disappear. Only the former of the two seemed manageable, though. At the end of her patience, she stopped in front of the fire, contemplating her possibilities. She´d stood so often here, but thinking about it she´d never seen any Floo powder. Her gaze roamed over the mantelpiece, but the only box, a small, plain wooden casket, was empty. Grumbling to herself, she rummaged through the ingredients cupboard, but except for getting a splinter into one finger, she reached nothing. Annoyed Rose turned to leave as she passed the only bookshelf with actual literature and not only bone-dry, potions reference books and theses. There, right next to a copy of Greek mythology, stood a jar with a familiar green powder.

Snatching the jar from the shelf, Rose strode back to the fireplace, tossing a handful of powder into the flames. Then she hesitated. What if he had no time? It stood to reason that he was busy, otherwise he would be here. Or he wasn´t alone. How should she explain why she Floo called one of her teachers? Out of his own quarters, as it was.

“Bugger it,” she mumbled and added louder, “Headmaster office,” before she stuck her head into the flames.

The sensation was disturbing. It felt as if her head rotated completely detached from her body and travelled the way to the other fireplace alone, but still she felt her body kneeling on the rug. So yes, it was disturbing and without question, she disliked it even more than the usual Floo travel.

As her head stopped spinning and she dared to open her eyes, Rose was glad she hadn´t said anything yet. The office was filled to the brim with people and only thanks to their wild, agitated chatter no one had noticed her head sitting in the flames. Rose scanned the room as best as possible out of her position and, thank Merlin, spotted Severus. He was in an obviously heated discussion with a tall, middle-aged, blond wizard, who Rose knew from other Order meetings but had no idea what his name was. Even though Severus almost half a head smaller and had to look up, the other man seemed rather intimidated by the Potions Master and his increasingly deepening scowl and finally nodded and turned to someone else. Severus pinched the bridge of his nose and closed his eyes as if trying to calm down. He looked tired and fraught and all of a sudden, Rose thought her own problem too small to bother him with it, too. Gazing once again around, she saw off the far end of the room Remus and Sirius. Remus shook his head about something Tonks had said and Sirius seemed keen on starting an argument but was headed off by Kingsley Shacklebolt who placed a calming hand on Sirius´ shoulder. Heavens, in this room were by far too many people, it bordered on a miracle no one had spotted her by now, really.

Rose made the decision to draw back and try to find an undisturbed way up to the Gryffindor tower as Severus´ eyes snapped to the fire, suddenly and without warning quite as if he´d felt her presence. His eyes widened a fraction before he composed himself, tearing his gaze away. He crossed the room and positioned himself in a way that no one would look to the fire.

“Ladies and Gentlemen! It is late and I don´t see any progress. Let us meet again to a subsequent date and see what we have.” With a swish of his wand the door swung open, giving everyone a blatantly clear dismissal. As the last one was gone, Severus closed the door and turned back to Rose. “Come through,” he said and awaited her in front of the fire.

As usual, Rose stumbled ungracefully out of the fire and would´ve tumbled to the ground if it hadn´t been for Severus and his reflexes. He caught her and pulled her the same moment close into his arms. That was exactly what she was in need of the whole day long. As soon as his arms closed around her and she felt his warmth, smelled his familiar scent and heard his heartbeat, the bats disappeared all at once, almost as if they´d never been there.

“Thank you, you saved me,” both said at the same moment and chuckled. Rose snuggled closer into the embrace and would´ve stayed there the whole night if there hadn´t been the knock at the door.

Severus groaned and pushed Rose quickly into another room. She couldn´t hear what was said on the other side of the door but it didn´t matter. Before she could consider to open a gap to listen, the door already was opened and Severus pulled her back into the office.

“Goddamn it, Rose!” Remus grumbled. “Your friends are frantic because they can´t find you. You can´t simply disappear without telling anyone where you are.” He combed one hand through his hair, his anger visibly evaporating as relieve replaced it gradually.

“I´m here and I´m fine,” Rose said almost defiantly but softened the edge with a small smile and hugged Remus tightly. “I´m sorry you worried. Again.”

Remus wrapped his arms around her, heaving a sigh.

“I´ll tell Hermione you are safe and then I´ll go placate Sirius before he rounds up a search party,” he said, kissing the top of Rose´s head. At the door he turned once again, narrowing his eyes. “Are you sure you´re all right?”

Rose nodded, plastering her distraction smile on her face. “Yes, I´m fine.”

Severus slung his arms from behind around her, causing Rose to sigh contently.

“Stop worrying. I´m fine,” Rose repeated, almost believing it herself. “Can we leave?”

Severus sighed deeply, weary, and loosened his arms. “I can´t. I hadn´t planned this bloody meeting for today and I´m not done with that hell of correspondence,” he muttered, rubbing his eyes.

Rose pursed her lips, snorting contemptuously. “Screw that. You need sleep,” she said and dragged him over to the fireplace but turned in front of it. Her expression saddened as she peered up at him. “And I need you,” she confessed softly.

Rose needed no other argument to convince Severus to follow her, though he hesitated as he entered his bedroom and watched Rose undress. She gazed over her shoulder as she felt his eyes on her.

“Don´t look so panicked. I have no ulterior motives but it calms me when I can feel you,” she said, stripped completely and crawled into bed.

With far less reluctance, Severus followed. “Let´s hope Lupin manages to distract the mutt,” he mumbled as Rose cuddled into his side.

“Don´t call him that,” Rose snipped. “And by the way, it´s your own fault he´s here.”

“Way off the mark. It´s Albus´ deed.” Severus huffed.

“Of course it is,” Rose muttered and then added thoughtful, “You know, I love Sirius but having him here makes things only more complicated. Can´t you find someone else?” Actually she felt a little bad for asking Severus to kick Sirius out, but it really complicated her life even more and aside from that she knew their tendency to get all too easily at each other´s throat.

“I´m afraid we both have to endure his presence. We need to be careful. There´s absolutely no use to alert him to us and in the worst case out us in one of his petulant raging fits.”

Rose pressed her face into his warm skin and closed her eyes. Everything could be so much easier if she could stay right here, for the rest of her life. Breathing and feeling Severus. Let his calm flood and sooth her and never again emerge from this, her personal safe haven. “I love you,” Rose said quietly.

Severus didn´t answer and as Rose peered up at his face, he had his eyes closed and breathed calmly through his slightly parted lips. Rose smiled and tightened her arm around his chest, drifting off into unconsciousness.

***

Waking up the next morning was a glum experience for Rose. She was alone and seemingly had been for some time. Severus´ half of the bed was crumpled but cold and held nothing for her, except a small note that he was sorry for leaving her, but that he couldn´t delay his tasks any longer.

Rose considered flooing to the Headmaster´s office again but discarded the thought. Besides that she´d only distract Severus, she knew that he taught third years first period and it was almost time for him to go there and prepare the classroom. Rose sighed. She could stay in bed. Her first class was only after lunch. But being alone would only add to her gloomy mood and then there were still her worried friends.

Reluctantly Rose dragged herself out of bed and all the way through the castle up to the Gryffindor common room. However, she regretted her decision immediately after entering. Hermione and Draco started whining and wailing about her absence the second the portrait hole had spit her out. Ron followed shortly after, though generally milder in his accusations.

“Stop it, will you?” Rose shouted finally. “It´s not your damn fucking business where I´ve been and I assume I´m right that Remus informed you about my well-being,” she groused less loud but not less irritated. To everyone´s surprise this was the moment Lavender chimed in.

“You know, I have no idea what happened in Hogsmeade, only that it seems to be a big deal. But everyone with half a brain should be able to process that Rose wants some time for herself. And you as her friends should know that better than anyone else. So why don´t you fuck off and leave her be?” Lavender hadn´t moved from her place below a window and simply returned her attention to her homework after finishing her advice.

Hermione stared daggers at the other girl, but her expression shifted into disbelief as Rose squared her shoulders and walked over to Lavender, taking the chair next to her.

“Thank you, but you didn´t have to do that,” Rose said, watching Draco and Hermione leave disgruntled the room, most likely for their Arithmancy lesson, while Ron gazed sheepishly over and then climbed the stairs to the boys dormitory.

“Yeah, but I did. No big deal.” Lavender shrugged and then eyed Rose for some time.

“Well, then, thank you again,” Rose said quickly as it seemed as if Lavender finally decided to ask what so obvious itched her all along. Rose stood up and strode out of the room and to a floor below before she stopped again. She had no idea where to go and what to do. Aimlessly she walked further around and in the end found herself outside the library. Due to her walk through the school and her general bad mood, her pretence of calm indifference had slipped. Her mind started replaying the memories she´d so badly tried to push away.

She wouldn´t think about that day. No!

Rose tore the door to the library open, earning a withering look from Madam Pince, but didn´t stop to apologise. Instead she launched into the farthest corner and wrenched her Charms homework out of her bag, almost ripping her book apart. Everything was better than thinking about Hogsmeade. About that Death Eater. Her homework had to be done anyway. Though, the two foot essay about the main problem with nonverbal magic proved to be no real distraction and was done in a blink. Amazing what difference it made if one worked alone and concentrated or sat together with a bunch of friends who talked all the time and asked questions for their own essays.

“Damnit,” Rose muttered and shoved her finished homework aside. Gladly she remembered right then that she had still an essay for Potions to write. With new fervour she dove into the task. It was almost like her preparations for Occlumency. Clearing her mind and focusing only on the here and now, permitting no interfering side-thoughts. It was surprisingly refreshing and she was, indeed, disappointed as the essay was finished. Though the disappointment persisted not all too long as her gaze fell on the clock and she noticed that she not only had missed lunch but was also already too late for Runes.


	14. Chapter 14

 

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“Severus!”

Severus ignored the shout. Whatever Lupin wanted it had to wait until he´d finished the fifth year´s essays after which he could finally -finally!- ask Rose to come to his quarters. It had been much too long since they´d spoken even one word outside of the classroom.

“Severus, can I speak with you?”

Severus turned a withering look at the other man but didn´t slow his strides.

“Please,” Remus said and stopped Severus with holding him back on his elbow. “It´s about Rose.”

Severus stopped mid-step, instantly worried. “What´s wrong?”

Remus sighed and looked pointedly left and right from them down the corridor. “Maybe not here.”

Severus shot a fleeting glance at the gathering students and resumed rushing towards his office, his own office, not the silly, airy thing, with too many distracting windows and frippery littering the shelves, in which usually Dumbledore resided. 

Stepping into his office, Severus made up his mind and waved Lupin into his study. With a weary groan, Severus slumped down in his favourite armchair, lacking completely his usual grace and composure.

“Rose,” he prompted.

“Have you seen her lately? I mean in private,” Remus clarified.

“Not in the last two weeks,” Severus said with a regretful twitch of his lips. Heavens. Two weeks. He´d really thought he´d manage to find more time for Rose.

“I´m worried about her. I don´t think she copes as well as she´d like everyone to believe. But when I ask her, I get always the same answer, ‘I´m fine, just busy’.”

“And you don´t believe her,” Severus observed, stroking over his chin.

“Severus, honestly. I know the light in the dungeons is a little dim,” Remus glanced around, arching an eyebrow, “But even you should´ve noticed how pale she is and that the circles under her eyes get darker with every day.”

Severus closed his eyes. He rested his head in his hand as he propped his elbow on the armrest. Of course he had seen the change. But he´d thought nothing of it or better had pretended it would mean nothing.

“So you think it´s worrisome?” Severus pulled his head off his hand as he gazed at Lupin. “Anyway, why is it **you** talking to me and not Rose´s mongrel godfather?”

Remus scowled about the insult but let it pass, saying, “Why should **he** talk to **you**?” Remus blinked puzzled. Severus acknowledged the question with a grunt and Remus went on, “But apart from that, Sirius believes her diversion only all too happily. I´m sure deep down he knows she´s not all right. But he doesn´t want to see it. He wants her to be whole.”

Severus scoffed. Whole, my arse. As if Rose ever had been whole. But then his guilt caught up with him. HE should´ve been the one voicing his concern and not her godfather´s lover. Or it should´ve not come that far in the first place. Severus snarled to himself. Fucking Bellatrix starting a fucking war and killing the fucking Minister of Magic. For fucking bloody heaven´s sake! He shouldn´t have to make Dumbledore´s job. He should be at Rose´s side and help her through this chaos.

A soft touch at his knee snapped Severus out of his curse-clad brooding. Only then, he noticed his teeth grating against each other, making an ugly sound that filled the silence in the room uncomfortably.

“It is not your fault. You have enough own sorrows.”

“Not my fault?” Severus jumped up, livid. “It was my idea to leave the school. She´d have been not even there without me. So don´t you tell me it´s not my fucking fault!” he yelled, spraying spittle at the other man.

But Remus seemed unimpressed by Severus´ outbreak and only rubbed once over his face, swiping the spit off.

“I hoped she´d talk to you,” Remus said softly.

Severus huffed and abruptly turned around and strode towards the liquor cabinet. He filled a tumbler and downed it before refilling it and adding a second shot in another glass, returning to Remus.

“Well then, pray tell, when should I talk to Rose? I very nearly drown in work that is not even my own, as it is,” he spat and plonked Remus´ glass on the coffee table, sloshing Whiskey over the rim.

Remus sighed, took his drink and sipped. A small smile lifted the corners of his mouth.

“You could´ve asked for help.”

Severus opened his mouth, a scathing comment already perching on the tip of his tongue, but his mouth shut again without a word. It was downright infuriating that the man was right and, to cap it all, that it was so simple.

“I see, you haven´t even considered that possibility,” Remus smirked but became immediately serious again. “I´d volunteer to help you, so you´d have time for Rose.”

Severus nodded silently, though more to himself, contemplating the idea. It could work.

“Thank you,” he said finally, so quickly as if the two words hurt him or were repulsive.

“You´re welcome. Though, I always love to help, now I do it for Rose.”

“Yes. For Rose,” Severus repeated and in silent understanding, the two men raised their glasses to each other.

***

“Oh by the love of Merlin, you look awful!” Lavender exclaimed with a pitiful gaze.

Rose turned and gazed rather dumbstruck at Lavender, her brush hovering half way up to her head.

“Honestly,” Lavender said, clicking her tongue and shaking her head.

“Nothing “honestly”. I really don’t know why you think it´s any of your business,” Rose snarled, composing herself. The last thing she needed was Lavender sniffing about. Anyway, she had no time for chit-chat. It was still over an hour before she could go down for breakfast, she had work that had to be done beforehand.

Rose gazed into the mirror and sighed. Keeping her mind busy with exhausting herself with her workload worked amazingly well during the day. But her nights were still a nightmare, quite literally. To avoid dreams, Rose worked until late at night and then fell into bed, too exhausted to dream. Though, sadly not for long. Most of the time, she woke after two hours, soaked in sweat and shaking. Going back to sleep was useless and so she stood up frequently before dawn and resumed with her self-imposed task. Her homework had never the chance to pile up like it had done in the years before and she was far ahead with learning for the upcoming exams. Not even Hermione had ever worked that much. But it helped. Her mind stayed clear of every unwanted thought and she felt better than two weeks ago, only more tired, but that was a small price she was ready to pay if it meant otherwise to keep her sanity.   

“Uhm, sorry. I had not much sleep last night,” Rose said a lot more conciliatory.

“Only last night? You mean you actually sleep?” Lavender said and came closer but returned Rose´s answering grin.

“Well, sleep is overrated, anyway.” Rose shrugged. “But tragically it leaves me looking like a battered corpse.” Rose prodded the bluish, unhealthy looking crescents under her eyes.

“At least with that I can help you,” Lavender smirked and fished for a small bag, revealing several cosmetic products. Rose leant against the sink and let Lavender do whatever she thought necessary.

“Here you go. Far better.” Lavender turned her around and Rose blinked. She´d never manage to look like that when she applied it herself. Lavender saw her helpless gaze and grinned. “I can teach you.”

“Lavender, no offense, it really looks great, but don´t you think it´s a bit much? I´m not going to a gala…”

“Rose!” Hermione stood suddenly behind them, covering her mouth with her hand.

“What? I only wear some makeup,” Rose groused, glaring into the mirror. That was another side effect of her new lifestyle. She lost somehow her friends. Over the last two weeks, Hermione, Draco and Ron had at some point stopped asking her how she was and if she wanted to spend some time with them. They went now completely different paths and barely spoke with each other at all. Interestingly enough, Rose was beyond the point that it bothered her. “Is anything else?”

Hermione didn´t reply. She only smacked a note on the sink and left with a sour expression.

“Uh oh,” Lavender giggled and then removed the makeup with a flick of her wand. “Try it,” she said and handed Rose the bag. In the end Rose decided only for a bit concealer under her eyes and a wisp of powder to disguise her paleness.

“Yapp, looks more like you and much healthier. Won´t you read the note?” Lavender asked, eyeing the paper curiously.

Actually, Rose didn´t want to but did it nonetheless. Her heart fluttered in excitement. Severus had time for her. Though, the grin that bloomed on her face crumpled and faded into an uncertain frown. No matter how much she wanted to see Severus, she was afraid to do so. She´d managed too hard to erect the walls in and around her to allow them to crumple, what definitely would happen in Severus´ proximity. The man did that to her. And then what? He´d only find out how damaged she really was and she couldn´t have that.

“Bad news?” Lavender asked.

Rose had completely forgotten that she was still there. Quickly she forced her face into a disapproving expression, nose wrinkled and lips curled.

“Snape has suddenly time for my extra lesson.”

“Oh? I thought you like him.”

“I do. But that doesn´t mean I like extra lessons, does it?” Rose smirked.

“If you don´t want to go and you´re fed up with learning you could hang out with me and the girls,” Lavender offered.

Rose contemplated that offer for a moment. She could imagine only too well how ‘hanging out with Lavender and the girls’ looked like: endless gossiping and conversations about fashion, makeup and boys, entirely everything Rose never even thought about. And that only would lead to her being bored and boredom again led to thinking too much about things she strived to forget.

“Thank you, but I think I´ll prefer learning over gossip.”

“Oh Rosy-Posy, it´s not everything we do, you know,” Lavender giggled. “When the weather is good we go outside and have a little workout. Or did you think my striking body is a magical trick?” Lavender giggled, smoothing her hands over her toned stomach and hips.

“Sport?” That could be indeed an alternative to excessive learning and the exercise would certainly do her good. Especially because she´d never started playing Quidditch again. Not that Ginny and the others hadn´t asked her, but funny enough she hadn´t felt the urge to play and had simply lied that Severus – no Professor Snape – had banned her for the rest of the year. Somehow she had felt really relieved with this decision.

“But of course, sport. Come along.” Lavender grinned.


	15. Chapter 15

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“Miss Potter, stay behind, please,” Severus called at the end of the Wednesday Potions class.

Rose turned and waited but came not any closer.

“Why didn’t you come on Sunday? Or yesterday?” Severus asked, obviously hurt. He crossed the space between them but stopped shortly before Rose, not touching her.

“I was busy. Can I go? I´m still busy. Exams are in three weeks.” Rose´s whole posture was dismissive and Severus had no idea what he should make of it.

Rose, sensing his unease, offered a small smile. “Sorry.” She quickly stretched to kiss his cheek and left without waiting for any reply from Severus.

Severus gazed after her, somewhat dumbstruck due to being fobbed off so blatantly. Frowning, he followed Rose out of the room. On his way across the entrance hall, he saw her with a group of girls. She laughed with Lavender Brown, obviously unperturbed that Hermione and Draco stared darkly at her as they crossed the group´s way. The frown on Severus´ brows deepened. He changed direction and strode upstairs, knocking a moment later at a classroom.

“Professor Lupin, a word, please.”  

Remus stopped his lecture and narrowed his eyes slightly but complied. He gave his students a task and followed Severus out in the corridor.

“Is som…”

“She ignores me and then she fobs me off with some half-baked excuses. And she pecked me. On the cheek! Like a casual acquaintance, for fucking´s sake,” Severus ranted.

“So we speak about Rose, yes?” Remus asked casually, though with a slightly alarmed undercurrent.

“Of course! Who else?”

“Ok, ok. Calm down. I´ll try and talk to her.” Remus took gingerly his hand off Severus´ shoulder as he noticed what he was doing. But Severus seemed not to notice, anyway.

“She has a fall out with Draco and the others as well as it seems. I saw her with Miss Brown and her girls gang.”

Remus mulled that new information over, burying his hands in his cardigan.

“I´ll come down later. Or up?” Nowadays it was never clear in which office the Potions Master could be found.

“Down, there´s the Whiskey,” Severus said, already turning to leave.

***

“Rose,” Remus said, wearing a broad grin.

“Oh hey,” she smiled in return, stopping on her way out of the Great Hall. “Go ahead,” she added to Lavender and looked back to Remus.

“I haven´t seen you apart from classes the recent time. I thought you´d come by and help me with all the chocolate.”

“Yes, about that, I´m afraid I had enough chocolate for some time.” Rose shrugged apologetically. “Do you mind?” She nodded towards the doors. “Lavender´s waiting and I need to learn. Exams are close, you know?” With that Rose stretched up and pecked Remus on the cheek before she hurried away.

Remus frowned and flinched as Severus stood suddenly next to him.

“You see what I mean?” he asked grimly.

“Yeah, I see what you mean…”

***

“You´re all right?” Lavender asked as Rose joined her outside of the Great Hall.

“Yeah, yeah. Wasn´t important.” Even though Rose smiled, she felt horrible. She knew she´d done Remus injustice as well as Severus this morning. Most likely Severus even more. He´d seemed truly hurt by her behaviour. Damn it, it wasn´t as if she wanted to push them away, not really, however.

“Helllooo, Rose,” Lavender said and waved her hand in front of Rose´s face. “Someone home?”

“What?” Rose looked up, perplexed at being startled out of her thoughts.

“Are you coming?” Lavender gestured towards the portal, but Rose looked in the other direction, seeing Remus and Severus talking and gazing towards her. Rose´s stomach clenched. She´d love nothing more than go over and allow them to fuss over her. Severus would embrace her and hold her until everything felt all right again and Remus would pet her and provide her with tons of chocolate and as much tea as she wanted. But she couldn´t. Most likely they had a hunch that she wasn´t honest about her condition, but they had no prove and she wouldn´t confess that they were right. She´d managed almost a month without breakdown, she´d also manage another. And then yet another until she was done with this whole fucking shit and no one would ever know how afflicted she really was.

With a last longing gaze and regret filling her heart, Rose turned and smiled at Lavender.

“Let´s go.”

***

Rose stood in front of the mirror. Her gaze was fixed on her own eyes while she deliberately counted her heartbeats. She stood there already for hours, trying desperately not to think. She´d finished the last bit of homework already before midnight and had then noticed, with no small amount of horror, that she had nothing left to do. She´d managed in only three weeks to work through all of her revision material. She was sure that she never before in her life was better prepared for an exam than right now. But that left her with a new problem. No work meant: nothing to focus on. Nothing to focus on meant: no shield for her thoughts.

She´d almost panicked and had restarted her whole revision. But she knew her notes already by heart and they provided virtually no distraction. She´d then sat tight until even the last ones had been gone to bed and the common room was lonely and deserted. Then, and only then, Rose had drawn a shaky breath and sobbed. She had no idea how long she´d sat in the darkness and trembled while unwanted images danced behind her closed eyelids. As she´d finally managed to stand up and go to the bathroom, she´d looked in the mirror. Seeing herself like this was unsettling, to say the least. Being honest with herself, she looked gruesome, with dark shadows under her red rimmed and bloodshot eyes, limp hair and sallow skin. How anyone could believe her repetitive assertions of “I´m fine” and “It´s all right” was beyond her. Well, not everyone believed her. Severus and Remus definitely did not. But she had obviously reached what she´d wanted because they left her be now and only watched her from a distance.

“Oi, Rose! You scared me,” Lavender yelped, startling Rose.

Rose moved her gaze sideways and glanced at the other girl who now frowned at her.

“You look…”

“Horrible. I know. Had a nightmare, couldn´t sleep,” Rose said rather curtly. Her gaze roamed further through the room. She´d not noticed that Hermione had entered the bathroom. But she had to be in there for a while already, because right now she stepped out of the shower, glancing at Rose but inverted her eyes as she saw Rose looking at her.

Parvati joined them. She greeted Rose lively and started chatting carefree about their weekend plans with Lavender.

One. Two. Three. Four.

Rose started counting again. Her gaze returned to her eyes which stared back at her.

Five. Six. Seven. Eight.

She brushed her teeth, combed her hair. She never stopped counting.

“Rose, are you coming?” Lavender asked. She was already dressed and peered around the door.

“Go ahead.” Rose closed her eyes. Counted.

***

As Rose opened her eyes again, she was almost late for breakfast. But she didn´t mind exactly. Being late meant also fewer students in the Great Hall.

She straightened and forced her face into a smile. She looked still too pale and too tired, but at least her eyes weren´t bloodshot anymore, what made her look less psychotic. And less psychotic was good.

Rose chuckled about her thoughts. If those weren´t a sign for her increasing insanity she had no idea what was. But anyway, it lifted her mood and with a lightly bouncing step she went downstairs.

Already the untypical loud buzzing behind the door should have alarmed her, but Rose thought nothing of it and pulled the door open. All heads turned. The whispers stopped while hundreds of eyes were glued to her.

Rose arched an eyebrow and crossed the room to sit next to Lavender who looked equally disturbed as everyone else.

“Is someone dead?” Rose quipped, but the smile faded from her lips as Lavender hugged her suddenly.

“Oh Rose, why haven´t you said a word?”

“About what?”

Wordless Lavender pushed the newest print of the Daily Prophet to Rose. And there it was. The reason why everyone stared at her.

In big, black, bold letters stood on the front page:

** Rose Potter raped! **

_Article by Rita Skeeter_

Rose reached for the newspaper with trembling hands.

_We already reported about the attacks in Hogsmeade four weeks ago at the Easter weekend. But now a deeper truth has been unveiled. Rose Potter weathered the attack not as unharmed as we had assumed until now._

_We have statements of witnesses of the events we do not want to withhold from you._

_So said Charles Weasley, “Rose and Professor Snape suddenly arrived within the battle. I warned them to flee as fast as possible, what they then did. I assumed they made it back to the castle until I was informed about them being attacked."_

_Professor Snape himself gave to protocol, “We reached the village centre as we were attacked. I lost sight of Rose for a moment and as I spotted her again, I saw Avery dragging her away. I couldn´t follow immediately but did as soon as possible. I found them outside of Hogsmeade. Rose lay on the ground, her clothes were ripped apart. Avery was above her, half exposed himself. He strangled her, even though she´d already passed out. I stepped in, secured Avery and brought Rose back to Hogwarts where I gave her into the care of Madam Pomfrey.”_

_Madam Pomfrey has indeed confirmed the sexual assault, but her statement gave no more details as that there had been intercourse and because Miss Potter had been unconscious no struggle had led to greater injuries._

_If this should be reason for celebration is another topic the author is not prone to scrutinise at the moment._

_Magnus Avery, however, was taken into custody by the Auror Department and is now situated in Azkaban where he will remain until his trial._

_But the question which is foremost on our minds is:_

_How is Rose Potter?_

_Sadly we could not gain any statement from her until now. But we hope of course only the best and that she is well._

_We will keep you, dear readers, informed in all circumstances should there be any news in this matter._

Rose stared at the article in front of her. Her breathing became faster with every breath she took and still she felt like she couldn´t get enough oxygen. She felt giddy and the Great Hall seemed to shrink down around her.

She couldn´t breathe.

Leave.

She had to leave.

Staggering, she came to her feet, stumbling away from the table and the newspaper. Everything she´d tried to push away rained down on her. Every sound, smell, touch, feeling. Every thought she´d had. Everything.

“Rose?” Lavender stood next to her, reached for her. But Rose flinched away.

“Don´t,” she whispered. The world around her twisted and spun faster.

Air.

She needed air.

Lavender tried again to touch her, to comfort her, but Rose couldn´t stand it.

“Don’t touch me!” she screamed and collapsed to the floor as her legs hadn´t the strength to support her anymore. “Don´t touch me, don´t touch me, don´t…” she whimpered and curled in on herself.  

Others came. Remus and Sirius, both trying desperately to calm her down. But every time someone dared to touch her, Rose screamed and wailed again, trashing around.

“What is the meaning of this?” Severus demanded loudly over the noise, stalking into the hall. But as he came closer to the epicentre of the turmoil, he saw for himself. He swept to Rose and knelt down beside her. “Rose. Rose,” he said softly, cautiously laying his hand on her shoulder. Everyone around them grew quiet. The only sounds in the Great Hall were Rose´s distraught, sobbed wails.

That the whole school watched was entirely unimportant for Severus. Everything that mattered was Rose and what she needed. And what Rose needed most at the moment was being calmed down.

So Severus sat down and pulled Rose gently into his arms. He cradled her against his chest and stroked her back, all the while murmuring meaningless nonsense into her hair. 

It took several minutes, but finally she became quiet, her sobs abated to sniffling and then stopped completely.

Only then, Severus looked up.

“She has to go to the infirmary,” he said to Remus. But Rose immediately clawed on Severus´ robes, whimpering again. “Ok. It´s ok. I won´t leave. Rose. Do you listen? I´ll stay with you,” he assured her.

So finally Severus stood up, lifted Rose into his arms and carried her out of the Great Hall.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Gosh, only three more chapters to go and we´ll have finished part 4. Isn´t that crazy?  
> But first the weekend is over and I´m not sure when I can update again, but I´ll try to do so as soon as possible.


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heeeey! :)
> 
> A new chapter, isn´t that great? And even with only a short break :D But tomorrow is my birthday and I thought I want to give you a treat.  
> Hope you like it. It´s a little fluff after all those dark chapters.

<<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>> 

“What shall that mean? One of your men leaked the information? A goddamned Auror is to blame for this fucking mess?” Severus was beside himself.

“I´m afraid. Jensen is young, fresh out of training. It was his first big operation. And afterwards he celebrated it with his friends and got drunk. He told about internals and soon his friends had him swear to show them the reports. One of those friends copied the statements and ran straight to our dear Miss Skeeter.” Kingsley Shacklebolt shook his head but was not roused in any kind by Severus and his livid pacing and grousing. “I see personally to a condign punishment.”

“Condign punishment. Everything you´ll do is wagging a finger.”

“Let that be my worry, will you?” Kingsley said and stood up.

Severus led him out of Dumbledore´s office and bid him goodbye before he made his way to the infirmary. Rose was there for two days now. She refused to see anyone but Severus, Remus or Sirius but even to them, she didn´t want to talk and kept silent.

Against all odds, the students refrained from talking about the Prophet article and the fact that it was the Potions Professor who had calmed Rose. For the first time, Severus saw the whole bunch use their brains and it would satisfy him immensely wouldn´t he be so worried about Rose.

As Severus reached the hospital wing, the room lay in eerie silence. Remus and Sirius sat on one side of Rose´s bed, Remus holding her hand, but Rose looked away from them. Her gaze was fixed to one corner of the ceiling, like always since she was there.

“How is she?” Severus asked, approaching the bed.

“Unchanged,” Remus said.

Sirius gnashed his teeth, it still gnawed on him that it was Severus who´d managed to calm Rose.

Remus and Severus exchanged a glance. Remus nodded and pulled Sirius under a lot of muttering and ranting out of the room. Severus sat down on the bed.

“Hello Rose,” he said softly, the steep line of worry deepening. She seemed smaller than ever before, as fragile as a baby bird and decidedly too pale. “I spoke with Kingsley, we know now how Skeeter could obtain those information. It was one of the Aurors. Kingsley will see to it.”

Rose turned her head away from Severus, closing her eyes.

Severus sighed. “Merlin Rose, please talk to me. I want to help you. Please. Please let me help.” He let his head sink forward, his hair fell into his face, hiding him. “I miss you, Rose,” he whispered and took her hand, pressing the back of it to his lips. “Tell me what I am to do? Should I stay away? Do you need distance from me?”

“No!” Rose said surprisingly vehement.

Severus´ head shot up and he met Rose´s eyes. She seemed more in the now than a moment before. She lifted her hand and cupped his cheek tenderly. Severus swallowed, he almost did not even dare to breathe, in fear Rose might withdraw again and return to her mute staring.

“Stay with me. Don´t leave me. I can´t…I can´t be without you. Please don´t leave me,” Rose begged, becoming more desperate with each word.

“I won´t. Rose, I´ll do whatever you want. You only have to tell me.”

Rose squeezed her eyes close and shook her head. Severus froze, anxious he´d scared her away, but Rose grasped for him, pulled him down to her. She wrapped her arms around him, pressed her face into the crook of his neck and held on to him.

“I´m not broken. Only damaged. I can be fixed. You can fix me. I´m not broken. Please don´t leave me,” she mumbled.

And finally it made sense. Terribly so. Her distance, the desperate attempt to appear unaffected.

“Oh Rose,” Severus groaned. He shifted and slid down next to her, brought her close into his arms and held her tight. “I won´t leave you. You hear me? I won´t leave you.”

Rose cried. Body-shaking, soul-wracking sobs jerked her while she spilled every tear she had. Severus held her through it, assuring her all the time that he´d be always there for her. And in the end, as she was hoarse from crying, emptied of every tear and utterly exhausted, Rose fell asleep, but her grip on Severus´ robes never loosened.

***

Rose stayed for one day more in the infirmary, but after her breakdown in Severus´ arms she seemed to be better. Madam Pomfrey screwed the promise out of her to consult a specialist for psychotherapy to come to terms with her trauma. After Rose had agreed, though only grudgingly, Pomfrey allowed her to leave.

Remus and Sirius came to pick her up because Severus had another meeting with Kingsley which couldn´t be delayed. They walked silently to Remus´ quarters. Once inside, Rose stopped. However, before one of the men could say anything, she launched forward and buried her face in Remus´ chest, grasping for Sirius, pulling at him until he wrapped his arms around her too.

“I´m sorry. I should´ve told someone that I´m not ok,” she confessed sheepishly, not looking the men in the eyes.

“Yes, you should have,” Remus said, but tightened his arms around her.

“Right, if you´d done so, Remus would never have fraternized with the greasy bastard,” Sirius muttered. Rose looked up, confused about what Sirius was talking about. But Sirius didn´t elaborate his statement and instead went to make tea and search for some biscuits, leaving Remus and Rose alone.

Remus snorted lowly as he watched Sirius pout. “I talked with Severus about you,” he explained and sat down on the sofa. Rose joined him. She chanced a careful glance to Sirius before leaning close to Remus, “He doesn´t know, does he?”

“Merlin, no. But he accepted that you and Severus bonded over this disaster, with him as your saviour. And Sirius saw first-hand that Severus was worried about you. He doesn´t like my approach, but there´s nothing he could do about it. Well, nothing he´s overly inclined of carrying through.” Remus smirked. Rose stared at him and as the penny dropped, she blushed but chuckled. It felt good, freeing and once started, she couldn´t stop. Soon tears streamed down her cheeks and her face hurt from laughing. After an undetermined time that felt like a little eternity, Rose sobered and slumped back against the backrest, closing her eyes.

The sofa dipped as Sirius sat next to her.

Without opening her eyes, Rose grasped for Sirius´ and Remus´ hand and squeezed. “I love you.” And then, looking to Remus, asked, “So you and Severus are now on friendly terms?”

“He has a damn fine Whiskey,” Remus winked. But then he bent over and kissed Rose´s temple. “I think we made peace. Actually, I like talking to him. He´s terribly educated and you can talk with him about everything and far easier than I ever thought possible. He´s quite nice, once you can see past the sneer and snarky insults.”

Rose looked at Remus and smiled.

“By Merlin´s bloody beard, stop swooning over that man. It´s disgusting,” Sirius muttered.

Without warning, Remus stood up and pulled Sirius to his feet and into his arms, smothering him with a deep kiss.

“You´re so sweet when you´re jealous,” Remus smirked and kissed Sirius again.

Rose sat meanwhile on the sofa and watched them. She chuckled about Remus antics and Sirius indignant grumbling, but watching them, she missed Severus suddenly terribly.

“Thank you for picking me up,” she said softly and stood up. “Don´t be angry, but I think I´d like to go and…” That she wanted to go and see Severus remained unsaid, but Remus seemed to understand anyway and nodded.

Once out of Remus´ quarters, Rose was uncertain where to go. But she had no other choice as to go and guess where Severus might be and so set off first to Dumbledore´s office. But already one corridor ahead she ran into her friends, not Lavender and the other girls, but Hermione, Draco and Ron. They stopped as Rose approached them. And awkward silence spread between them until Rose finally mumbled, “I´m sorry. I was an idiot.”

“Damn right, you were,” Draco growled but at the same moment stepped forward as if to embrace Rose. He stopped before actually doing so, gazing unsure at her. Rose looked up. She smiled and then closed the distance between them, leaning against Draco and mumbled her apologies. Afterwards she embraced Hermione and Ron as well. Hermione twice, hugging her tightly.

“So,” Rose said because no one else said anything. “What are you doing?”

“Actually we were on our way to study before dinner,” Hermione said.

Rose made a face.

“Urgh, boring. That might be the only good thing about the last weeks. I´m done with learning. You could place me right now in front of any test and I´d write it and I´m fairly sure I´d do remarkably well.” Rose giggled and that loosened the slightly stiff mood considerably. “You want to have my notes?” she asked Ron who looked hopefully at her.

“Rose!” Hermione snipped indignantly.

“What? I don´t see why you shouldn´t have a look.” She shrugged.

In the end even Hermione agreed to have a look on Rose´s notes and the friends walked together down to the Great Hall to have an early dinner.

But entering the Great Hall revoked memories of the last time Rose had been in there and her steps faltered.

Draco laid softly his hand on Rose´s back, not pushing her but applying enough pressure that she went on. The few students who sat already at their house tables looked up, but that was everything that happened. As Rose noticed that no one started talking about her, no one pointed at her and especially as no one came over to attack her with questions, she relaxed.

Even as more and more students filled the hall, no one bothered Rose.

“What´s wrong?” Ron asked as he saw Rose´s surprised gaze.

“Yes, what´s wrong?” Rose answered, pointing around.

“Lavender said a few words after Snape brought you away. She said that no one would want to be object of such an attack and that everyone should better not accost you. Remus and Sirius supported her and that´s it. No one talks about it,” Hermione said but looked cautiously at Rose, gauging her reaction.

“I think Lavender really isn´t as bad as I thought for a while,” Rose said with a smile.

“Thank you,” Lavender said and sat down opposite Rose, kicking her foot under the table.

Rose grinned and kicked back.

***

Rose knocked tentatively at Severus´ door, half expecting he wouldn´t open.

“Oh, it´s you,” Severus said, the scowl dissipating into a soft smile.

Rose scurried past him and wrapped her arms around him the second the door was closed.

“Severus?” Rose said without lifting her face. “Do I really have to see a Healer?”

Severus pushed her away and looked down, contemplating.

“You know, it would probably help you. But no one can force you.”

Rose nodded. “I don´t know if I could talk to a stranger…But I can´t talk to my friends and Sirius either. Remus would listen, I´m sure but…”

“I´d listen to you, always,” Severus interrupted her. “And so would Remus. In the end it´s your choice.” He took her hand and together they went into his study where Remus sat, silently nursing his drink.

“Sorry for listening, but Severus is right. I´m always there if you need an open ear. I told you before and the offer still stands.”

Rose looked from one man to the other and there it was: the urgent need to release her thoughts. All the time she had pushed everything away, hadn´t dared and allowed to think those thoughts, but at the same time she had robbed herself of the opportunity to truly process what had happened with and to her and she knew that now.

She inhaled a quivering breath and sat heavily down on the sofa. It took her a moment until she could gaze back to Severus and Remus. She kept silent and first wrapped a blanket around her shoulders. She swallowed and then spoke. She started softly, haltingly, but after she´d begun it was not unlike the laughter earlier in Remus´ quarters and she couldn´t stop anymore. She told them everything. Each detail she remembered from the assault and then what had happened afterwards and how she had tried to cope with it.

“But now I know that it was the wrong way. I should´ve trusted you. But I couldn´t. I convinced myself that I was broken and you´d most likely turn away from me, so **I** turned away instead.” Rose stopped the flood of words and lifted her gaze from her hands, the first time since she´d started speaking. Remus looked close to tears but tried his best to keep them from spilling. Severus on the other side wore an unreadable expression, but he was the first to speak.

“I thought I´d lost you. And I was so close, so close," he emphasized and held his hand up, thumb and index finger only a hair's breadth apart, "from killing the filthy bastard. I hate that I wasn´t there for you as you needed me most. I´m sorry.”

Without a word Rose stood up and crawled to Severus on the chair. She rolled up in his lap like a kitten.

“I hate Bellatrix,” she whispered in way of acknowledging Severus´ words and then added, “Maybe I will see a Healer. Talking about it…it seems like unburdening myself. Literally. I feel…lighter…” She closed her eyes and exhaled. No minute later she was asleep.

Remus and Severus exchanged a surprised look.

“Let her sleep. I´ll go and look through your work,” Remus said and emptied his glass.

“Remus,” Severus said as the other man was already at the door. “Thank you. Not only for helping with the work but for coming here. I like our conversations and…” he halted, unsure how to end his thought.

“That´s what friends are for.” Remus smiled and left, leaving a bewildered Severus behind.


	17. Chapter 17

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The following weeks proved to be not always as easy for Rose as she had thought after that evening of her whole confession. But since Severus had Remus´ help, he had more time for her and they spent again every Tuesday, Thursday and Saturday together. Even though Rose had a major breakthrough in Potions and actually needed extra lessons no longer. But they used the time for Potions studies nonetheless and simply deepened the topics. They even discussed roughly Severus´ idea about his planned Wolfsbane research which sadly had to wait a little longer due to lack of time.

But ultimately Rose´s mood brightened with each day. At least that was until Madam Pomfrey notified her to visit her in the infirmary. Rose stared at the note. She had completely forgotten about the follow-up examination.

“Hey, what´s wrong?” Lavender asked, alerting Hermione as well.

“I…” Rose thought about how to say it. Lavender had no idea about her relationship with Severus, so she couldn´t say how it really was. Hermione gazed knowingly at her, waiting how she´d put it.

“Madam Pomfrey found semen as she checked me after the attack and I need to see her, to see that I´m not pregnant,” she mumbled while staring down at the table.

Ron almost suffocated on his breakfast and stared wide-eyed at Rose. Lavender looked pitiful.

“Jeez, I hope she won´t find something. Do you want someone to join you?”

Rose considered her question a moment. She had thought about asking Severus, simply because it couldn´t be said whose child it were if she was pregnant now. But then, Severus had barely time at the moment and actually Rose preferred to get over with it.

“That would be nice. Thank you.”

Rose had lost her appetite completely and only waited for Lavender to finish breakfast.

“Can I come with you, too?” Hermione asked, looking hopefully over the table.

“You can all come if you like,” Rose said.

The boys readily declined and so only Rose, Hermione and Lavender went to the infirmary. With each step, Rose felt more like bolting. But of course she couldn´t run away from it, if there was even something to run away from.

“Rose dear, I see you brought support,” Madam Pomfrey said with a smile as the three girls entered the infirmary.

Rose nodded. She feared she´d throw up if she´d open her mouth.

“Well, need I check you?”

Rose nodded again, feeling all of a sudden close to tears. It would all be so much simpler if her silly body for once would function normally and simply start bleeding. But of course it wouldn't.

Lavender reached for her hand and squeezed it.

“I see.” The nurse gestured for Rose to lie down and cast the charm. After a moment, a faint glow emitted from the tip of her wand, vanished and restarted. Madam Pomfrey frowned and peered up to Rose.

Pomfrey curled her lips and circled her wand slowly over Rose´s belly, whispering something under her breath. The frown on the woman´s forehead deepened.

“I´m sorry, I need…Give me a minute.” She turned away and left for her office. The girls saw her plucking books out of a shelf and mumbling to herself.

“Fuck,” Rose whispered. Tears stung in her eyes. Of course, that was just her luck.

“Don´t worry. It´s certainly only because Pomfrey doesn´t use those spells very often,” Lavender said, trying to cheer Rose up.

Hermione nodded and took Rose´s hand. “Everything will be fine.”

While waiting they heard the tell-tale sound of an activated Floo and seconds later, a black figure stumbled out of the fireplace in the corner of the room. Rose was immediately alarmed. She´d seen Severus only as clumsy as this when he was injured. But then he swayed and took another stumbling step forward, reaching for the wall for support.  

“Poppy?” he slurred. “If Rose comes, I have…oh,” Severus stopped himself midsentence, gazing with narrowed eyes at Rose and her friends.

“Well, she´s here as you can see. Maybe you see her even twice,” Madam Pomfrey snipped and curled her lips. Shaking her head, she stalked over to the clearly drunk man and raised an eyebrow. “Again? Severus, one should think one year you´d find another way to forget her…” Poppy chided but patted gently Severus' cheek. “Here.” She angled a small vial out of her pocket and handed it to Severus, just like she´d known he´d be in need of it today and had it stuffed there as a precaution.

Lavender glanced to the Potions Professor and furrowed her brow, but then she looked to Rose, saw the open concern and the frown deepened as she narrowed her eyes.

Madam Pomfrey ushered Severus back to the fireplace and made sure he´d get back to his quarters before she turned to Rose.

“Good, where´ve I been? Ah, yes…” She swished her wand in a series of complex looking movements over Rose and then finally nodded satisfied. “Negative. You are not pregnant.”

Rose breathed a sigh of relief. “Oh thank goodness,” she said with a growing grin but then sat up and glanced to the fireplace.

“He´s all right. That is, if he stops drinking and takes the sobering potion.” Pomfrey raised an eyebrow. “Though I guess, he won´t be able to supervise your lesson today.”

Rose started a second then got the cue and thanked the older witch inwardly a thousand times for giving her the perfect excuse for Lavender. Hermione looked at her, her left eyebrow twitched a fraction upwards before her expressions smoothed again.

“Blimey, you´re right. I totally forgot! But…” Rose peered again to the fireplace. “I can´t not go. He´s so easily irritated. I think I have to go and see if he´s in any shape to teach.”

Madam Pomfrey nodded thoughtfully. “You should go via Floo. I´m not sure he´ll open his door at the moment.”

“Are you sure?” Rose asked but was all about to leap to the fireplace and see what was wrong with Severus. Then she glanced to Hermione and Lavender, grinning. “If I´m not back until dinner better let Remus know, he´ll rescue me.”

Madam Pomfrey ushered her then, like Severus before, through the Floo, even before her friends had time to reply anything.

Lavender regarded the fireplace with a contemplative look and crossed arms.

“Sorry, but what do I miss?”

“Why? What do you mean?” Hermione asked and left the infirmary but came not far as Lavender held her back.

“I´m not as all-knowing as you are, but I´m not dumb. Completely apart from the fact that Snape was pissed like a rat, why has Rose to run after him?”

“She has her extra lesson with him. And she´s right. Even if he´s drunk, when she doesn´t go he´ll only put her in detention or something like that.” Hermione looked at Lavender and then added quickly, “Please don´t start that again. Rose and Snape…I don´t say that I understand how they are connected, but she´s only his student.”

Lavender arched an eyebrow but was seemingly satisfied for the moment and, now that Rose was no longer with them, rushed without Hermione away.

***

Rose entered the study and found Severus in his armchair. The vial from Madam Pomfrey stood on the small table alongside an empty bottle of Firewhiskey and a half empty glass. He didn't look up. His gaze was fixed on a photo in his hands.

Rose walked over and crouched before him. She gazed at the photo and furrowed her brow, briefly, remembering what Madam Pomfrey had said.

"Severus?" she asked. “What´s wrong?”

"She was my best friend. Your mom. Until the day I couldn't overcome the hate for your father and pushed her away, directly in his waiting arms," he slurred with grave voice.

Rose stood up.

"I think you had enough of this, particularly because it´s only ten in the morning." She took the glass and the bottle and brought both to the kitchen where she made two mugs of tea.

She set one mug in front of Severus.

“Take the potion. And then we´ll talk,” she said in a voice that let no room for talking back. Rose watched him swallow the potion and roughly ten minutes later, his gaze became clearer and he looked over to her.

“Thank you…May 31st  is always itchy to me.”

“Why?” Rose asked. She leant back in her chair and pulled her legs under her body, watching Severus attentive.

"It´s the day Lily and I first met and became friends. It´s the only day I allow myself to think of her and how it was before the incident you saw in the Pensive. Merlin, I was stupid enough to push her away like that. I really hated your father, Rose, but even more as he finally got Lily. Something I only ever could dream of." Severus peered down into his tea, not noticing what he had said.

"You wanted to be with her?" It felt like a fist was closing around Rose´s heart squeezing it tight. She´d known Severus and her mother had been friends, but that he´d been in love with her that was actually nothing she wanted to know.

Severus looked up.

“Do you really want to know the answer?” he asked gravely. But even though Rose was not sure if she really needed the answer, she nodded.

"Yes. I did," Severus admitted, stroking unconsciously over the face in the picture.

"Do you still love her? Is that why we are together? Because I remind you of her?” Rose swallowed. Again those were questions she wanted no answer for and still she had asked.

"I still love Lily, yes. But that has nothing to do with you." Severus closed his eyes, a pained expression on his face. This conversation was wrong, on so many levels, but he couldn´t stop anymore. He already knew Rose hadn´t taken this confession well. She swallowed heavily and her lips twitched. The last thing he wanted was to push her into the next crisis.

“So you think of her, when you´re with me? When you kiss me? When you touch me?” Rose heard how broken she sounded and she hated the accusing tone of her voice, but she couldn´t help it.

“Please Rose that is not the same. That between **us** is not the same. Lilly and I…we´ve never been together. But she was my first love and you can´t blame me for thinking about her.”

“Oh, you DO think of her!?” Rose spat. She was suddenly so angry, she couldn´t breathe properly. “And you´re only with me because you had no chance with her?”

“No! That´s not true! My feelings for you are entirely different. You can´t compare that,” he retorted angrily. Rose had the questionable talent to turn everything into an argument.

With a sharp exhale Severus stood up and stalked over to his desk. He slammed his fist into the wood and stayed there with his back to Rose, head lowered between his shoulders.

Rose flinched as he punched the wood but willed herself to calm down. She had asked those questions and he had answered. Truthfully. She saw that it was silly to think he was just with her because he still loved her mother. Really, actually that was ridiculous. He had shown her in so many ways that he loved her. Not The Chosen One or the saviour of their world, like so many others. Simply Rose. And what was it to her that he once had loved her mother?

A moment later she wrapped her arms around him, leaning her head against his back.

“I´m sorry,” she whispered ruefully. “I didn´t want to make a fuss about it.”

Severus turned around and cupped her face with both hands, gazing deep into her eyes.

“Lily – she is my past.  My present and hopefully my future are you. I love you and I never again want to miss you, for the rest of my life,” he said softly and stroked with his thumbs over her cheeks.

“Is that a proposal?” Rose whispered with big eyes and a shy smile.

In this moment she looked so very young and innocent, it nearly broke Severus´ heart.

“Would you want it to be one?” he asked, almost fearful for her answer. They were both not ready for that step, for more than one reason.

“I never thought about it before,” Rose thought aloud.

Severus exhaled in a puff, but he smiled. He brushed his thumb over Rose´s bottom lip before bending down to kiss her.

“You will know when I propose to you. There will be no way you could misunderstand it.”

Rose smiled.

“So, one day you will?” Something of her cheeky mischief returned to her eyes, making them glitter and shine brighter than before.

Severus chuckled and kissed her again.

“I´m profoundly convinced that one day I will ask you if you want to marry me. But not yet. There is still too much uncertain in our lives.”

Rose kept silent for a moment. She agreed with Severus about this, wholeheartedly. Considering the morning so far and how it had passed off not exactly like she´d expected it, Rose still had one question that bothered her. But Severus, perceptive as always, noticed already that something was amiss and asked, “What´s the matter?”

Rose pulled Severus with her over to the sofa and sat down.

“Madam Pomfrey knew what was wrong with you. She knew already before you came you´d need the potion and was prepared. But you came and asked for me and then Pomfrey virtually shoved me through the Floo.” There was no question in what Rose had said only statements, but she peered nonetheless questioningly at Severus. He gazed back and then smiled sadly.

“It´s every year the same. Only that this year…I missed you suddenly so much. Had I known where to find you I´d gone there and had taken you with me, regardless who´d have watched.”

“But you found me…”

“Together with Miss Brown of all people,” Severus huffed.

“Yeah, I´m afraid I must talk to her. She´s suspicious again.”

"Not now," Severus said and without warning Rose found herself in Severus´ arms. He pulled her on his lap and kissed her with so much urgency she was breathless after seconds.

His hands skimmed restlessly over her body, shoving, tugging, and pushing on her clothes until he had freed her from every piece of it. Rose trembled, but with anticipation not dread, her eyes were huge and her parted lips virtually begged to be kissed. Severus pulled her back to him, their mouths meeting in a deep kiss that consisted to even parts of tangling tongues, clinking teeth and moans. But Severus soon abandoned Rose´s mouth, trailing hotly over her jaw. His mouth fastened hungrily to her throat, nipping and sucking the sensitive flesh, but still being unsatisfied, he delved further down, his tongue swiping over one erect nipple before sucking it into his mouth. Rose arched into his mouth, inhaled sharply, gasping her pleasure into the air. All the while Severus´ hands never stopped their steady motion, running up and down in soft caresses over the curve of her spine, then deciding to dip low over her arse and further to her thighs and all the way back up.

Rose moaned under his soft touch but rough mouth, overwhelmed with the different feeling of it but not satisfied.

"Severus," she moaned, tugging on his clothes, grinding her hips into his. In a hurry he complied with her wish, though mourning the temporary loss of Rose in his lap which he had to endure in favour to shed his clothes. Though, as soon as the last article of clothing lay discarded on the floor he returned to her, claiming her mouth in a wild, passionate kiss.

Rose shrieked surprised as Severus flipped her around, bending her over the backrest of the sofa. But her surprise faded quickly into a moan. She shivered pleasantly as he licked delicately down her spine, clustering small kisses to her lower back. Her head fell forward as he stroked between her legs, probing her tentatively, but withdrew before really entering. Rose whined frustrated, pushed back to reach his teasing finger.

“Please,” she all but sobbed as Severus continued to stroke her but never entered her.

Severus groaned as she begged again and yet again, sweeter with every time and then slid a finger in, stroking her inside. But Rose begged again, begged for more and Severus gave in. With his hands on her hips he sank into her, moaning in a shaky exhale of breath as he was fully sheathed and sat deep inside her. He bent forward and kissed the sweat-damp skin between Rose´s shoulders.

“Move. Gods, Severus! Move!”

And he moved.

Soft gasps turned into breathless moans and cries. Rose never stopped begging him for more, faster, deeper, yes, touch me. And then Rose arched against him, pressing into his hand. His hips stuttered as she clenched around him so strong as if she wanted to hold him as deep as possible, while the sweetest, deliriously unrestrained sounds fell from her lips. But it was not enough. Not for him. Severus groaned. His fingers dug deep, bruising, in Rose's hips as he shouted his desire and arousal freely in loud moans. His hips snapped forceful, pumping his aching flesh into her. All his senses narrowed down on one point as he feverishly chased his release.

Rose bent further forward to allow Severus to thrust deeper, but he brought one arm around her chest, pulling her upright and back against his chest. It was glorious. Rose pressed back, gripped one of his thighs to help him drive further into her while her other hand got hold on the backrest, supporting their movement.

"Rose," Severus panted breathless. And then, as their lips met, his orgasm swept over him, carried him into bliss. He pushed Rose forward, leaning over her, pressed his hips into the soft flesh of her arse and stilled, spilling deep inside her with a strangled cry.

“God, Rose,” Severus said after his breathing had evened out enough to allow more than panting. He mouthed her neck, still holding her close, refusing to part. “I hate that I have to hide you. For the first time I´m so happy I could burst and no one can know.”

Rose sighed. She knew what he meant and she hated it too. Maybe even a little more. She was still a teenager after all. The first love was something special, something one wanted everyone to know, see, acknowledge. But all she could do was hided behind closed doors. Wriggling under Severus, she managed to turn and sit back, with Severus still kneeling but now above her. She looked up, resting her head back on the backrest.

“Then let´s stop hiding. Does it really matter if it´s now or in two months?” she asked and stroked over his chest.

Severus leant forward, brought their foreheads together. His hands stroked idly over her arms, up over her shoulders until he cupped her face.

“Yes. Yes, it does matter. And even after those two months it´s not sure we´ll ever be officially together as long as you´re a student.”

They fell silent like this. Every now and then their lips met in slow, unhurried kisses. Severus´ hands resumed stroking Rose, gliding softly over her arms, falling to her hips. The further his hands travelled downwards, the deeper became their kissing until they both were flushed and panting again. Rose reached for Severus, smiling against his lips to find him growing hard again as a series of loud knocks on the office door interrupted their moment.

Severus was all about to ignore whoever was there but it knocked again, harsher.

“For fuck´s sake,” he muttered and stood up. Hastily he slipped into his trousers and shrugged into his shirt, buttoning it on his way through the study. He had just left and half-closed the door behind him as the fireplace flared green.

Rose gripped reflexively the blanket and pulled it over her body and then she recognised the intruder as Remus.

“Quick. Follow me,” he said urgently, bending down to collect Rose´s strewn clothes.

“What…?”

“Not now. Come,” he interrupted her and took hold of her arm, pulling her to the fire and into it.

Rose stumbled and lost the blanket but was too perplexed to bother.

“What the hell, Remus?” she snapped. But Remus simply thrust her clothes into her arms and turned respectfully around, waiting until she was dressed.

“What the hell, is quite the right question,” he said curtly as he faced Rose again. “The whole castle knows that Severus had sex. You´ve been so loud that some students overheard you and even before you were finished everyone knew of it. There are legions of nosy students outside of Severus´ office. Even teachers wander through the dungeons under the pretence to enforce discipline.”

Rose stared at Remus, paling visibly.

“Lavender was on her way to you too. She was dead certain to find you with Severus and she would´ve if I hadn´t overheard her by chance.”

“And…And now?” Rose asked.

“Now, we´ll leave Minerva´s office and..."

"McGonagall?"

"Sirius is in mine..."

"Oh. Ok." Rose pressed her lips together. Sirius was maybe the last one she wanted to know at the moment.

"Right, so we leave the office and walk casually downstairs, because we planned a stroll over the grounds and, oh my, what a surprise we hear the commotion and go to investigate, showing everyone that you´re with me and not in Severus´ quarters. Though…” Remus arched an eyebrow at Rose´s messy hair and produced, indeed, a comb from the depth of his cardigan. “We can´t present you to the public when you still look utterly debauched and I´m sorry, but you reek of sex,” he said and scourgefied her, then he gestured to turn around and nodded satisfied. “Well then, towards the battlefield.”

Rose couldn´t help but laugh as Remus stabbed his wand like a sword in the air to open the door and held his arm out to her.

Down in the entrance hall, Rose spotted Lavender. The other girl walked terrifyingly pale next to Severus, who wore a murderous expression.

“Lavender!” Rose called and walked over. “Jeez, what´s the matter with all this?” She gestured around at the students, spilling from the entrance to the dungeons.

“Miss Brown and everyone else have yet again shown not the slightest bit of respect for other persons private matters,” Severus answered tersely, blatantly obvious straining not to lose his temper at the sight of his colleagues, trailing after the students.

Rose looked from Severus to Lavender and then to Remus who only shrugged as if he had no idea about all of it.

“At eight, Miss Brown,” Severus said and rushed in a flurry of black cotton away.

“Oops.” Rose bit her lip to keep from grinning.

“Yeah, yeah, oops…” Lavender muttered, regaining her natural rosy complexion. “Where have you been?”

“With Remus, we´re just on our way outside, you want to join us?” Rose asked and looked at Remus for confirmation.

“Don´t bother. I´ll see you later. For tea?”

Rose hugged him and promised to turn up for tea, expressing her hope he´d have chocolate at which he only chuckled. Then she linked arms with Lavender and led her quickly outside and over the grounds to a shadowy place at the lake.

“So, what was all that about?” she asked.

“A few students heard noises from Snape´s quarters,” Lavender said and pursed her lips. Rose waited, but as the other girl wouldn´t go on, she raised her eyebrows.

“Noises? That´s not really spectacular, is it?”

“Sex noise. Really hot sex. I heard it myself. All the moans and shouts. Hell, that must´ve been really steamy…” Lavender gave Rose a long scrutinizing look, but Rose chuckled.

“Now I get it. You thought I´d be with him.”

“You **have** been with him.”

“Yes, but he sent me away. Felt not like teaching and wanted to be alone. So I went to Remus.”

Lavender grumbled something unintelligible under her breath.

“What? Honestly, Lavender, do you still think I have something with him?” Rose asked, striving desperately for a scandalised tone.

“No…But, look. Of course I thought it was you. You virtually ran after him and…Ah, never mind. Whoever was with him is at least a very lucky chick, if the sounds of them are any indication.” Lavender smirked.

“Are you sure it was a woman?” Rose asked. She grinned and begun laughing as Lavender pulled a face. “Who knows which way he swings…” Rose shrugged. She looked forward to Severus´ face when she´d tell him about it because she would´ve to tell him in case this would become the new rumour: Snape queer.

“Please let´s change the topic. Really, I don´t want to think about the sexual preferences of Snape and even less with his moans still ringing in my ears.”

“Ah, a shame I haven´t heard it.” Rose still chuckled and fell back into the grass.

“Sure. Really dramatic you missed that. Damn, I hate to say it, but it was really hot…” Lavender stretched out on her side, facing Rose. “I´ve almost made it through his office. But before I could get a glimpse through the door, he caught me and hauled me back into the corridor. Blimey he was livid.”

“Maybe you interrupted round two?” Rose asked. Her whole being concentrated on not blushing. Hell, why was she even talking with Lavender about it? But thankfully Lavender scrunched her face up.

“Stop it. I don´t want those images in my head! Fuck, I have to go down to him later.” Lavender groaned and flopped onto her back, too, while Rose chuckled.


	18. Chapter 18

<<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>> 

Severus was on his second circuit around the lake. The sun slowly climbed higher over the tree tops of the forbidden forest. The air was fresh and filled with birds´ twittering. Hogwarts sat silent upon the hill. It was utterly peaceful.

Severus inhaled in a long, mindful breath and exhaled in a quick puff of air. Only one week and he was free again and then he had eight wonderful weeks apart from those thick, dunderheads and their adolescent, hormone-fuelled problems. Eight weeks in which he could, if everything worked out like he hoped, have all the time he wanted to be with Rose.

Absentminded he scratched on his arm. The itching became stronger again. Bellatrix was restless in her efforts to gain her aim. Severus was almost unhappy she´d managed to exclude him. He only noticed very strong interferences with the Mark anymore. If she was close to success? Could she really manage to locate and free the others? That would be disastrous. Anyway, Severus was sure it wouldn´t take long anymore and Bellatrix would demand his presence again. But not today. At least he hoped that.

He reached a small group of trees on the west side of the lake and sat down. The last year had been terrifyingly emotional. Severus was unsure that he ever in his life had felt so spend emotionally and had been so happy at the same time. No matter how straining this emotional rollercoaster had been, for nothing in the whole wide world he was ready to give up on it again. With a content smile, he closed his eyes and leant his head back against the smooth bark of a beech tree, wallowing in thoughts about Rose.  

“Fuck! Rose, wait for us, will you?”

Severus opened his eyes, for one thing because the sudden shout had startled him and for another thing because of the mentioning of Rose. Said young woman came even now to a stop right in front of him, smiling brightly and swiping sweat off her face.

“Good morning.”

“Good morning,” Severus said, smiling back. He looked past Rose and saw a small group of girls coming closer. With a sigh he stood up, brushing leaves and dead grass from his trousers. Now he regretted he´d not taken his robes with him. Rose seemed to guess his thoughts because her smile morphed into a grin.

“You look fabulous, darling.”

Severus opened his mouth just as Lavender caught up with them.   

“Why, Miss Potter, I haven´t known you´re an early riser,” he said instead of his intended comment and quirked his eyebrows.

“I´ve heard exercise is healthy. I guess everyone has his favourite one.”

Severus stared at Rose, momentarily on a loss for a reply to the audacity of her comment and the cheeky smirk on her face which he wished more than anything else he could kiss away.

Lavender gasped and that snapped Severus back into his expected role.

“Cheek, Miss Potter? Only because term is almost over doesn´t mean you won´t earn detentions for such behaviour,” he snarled and added after a short break, “You´ll come after breakfast. There are cauldrons which need scrubbing.”

Rose bit her lip, no doubt she´d speculated exactly on that outcome, but she schooled her expression quickly in one of contrition.

“Yes, sir. After breakfast.” With that she took Lavender´s arm and hastened away.

Severus gazed after her and finished his Sunday morning walk, a smile playing on his lips.

***

Rose entered the study with a smile. She leant casually against the door and watched Severus watching her. Her smile widened as a small crease formed between his eyes the longer she only stood there without saying anything.

“What am I doing today?” she asked finally, releasing him from being scrutinized and ambled over, perching on the armrest of his chair.

“First of all I´m going to do what I wanted to do the whole time since I saw you earlier,” Severus said and pulled Rose into his arms, kissing her. “And now you´ll go back to your dormitory and change into appropriate clothes. We´ll go into the forest and collect, among other things, fresh herbs for the potion you´re going to brew.”

“The forest?” Rose raised her eyebrows. If she considered it, she´d never been in the forest if she was allowed or outside from detentions and especially not during day time. A childish excitement bubbled up in her and she couldn´t help but grin. The forest was in her head tightly connected with adventure and going on an adventure with Severus seemed a fairly good thing for a Sunday.

However, being in the forest was not exactly the adventure Rose had quietly hoped for. But that didn´t mean it was bad. Collecting everything took also far longer than expected mostly due to the fact that they stopped for a good while for kissing as they were deep enough in the forest and because Severus pointed virtually everything out one could find that was of use for potions. And then they stopped again for a fair amount of time for more kissing. So it was time for dinner as they finally made their way back up to the castle.

They walked together into the Great Hall still deeply in discussion about honeysuckle.

“Eat and then come down for brewing,” Severus said as they reached the Gryffindor table, stopping Rose midsentence.

“Only when I´m showered and changed into something that doesn´t itch from fir needles and whatnot,” Rose retorted with challenging lifted chin. She earned a raised eyebrow but then Severus sighed and shrugged, arguing was really not worth the trouble.

“But hurry, you´ll need the whole evening anyway,” he said and turned to proceed to the Head Table.

Many faces were turned to Rose which she readily ignored as she hungrily filled her plate.

“What?” she questioned after a few moments of being ogled and caused everyone except her friends to look away.

“You´re brave to retort in such a way,” Lavender said promptly. “Given the fact that just that brought you detention in the first place…”

Rose shrugged. “You know, he shooed me through the forbidden forest the whole day and after dinner I´m expected to brew for who knows how long. I earned a shower,” she replied casually and dedicated herself again to her food.

***

Hours later Rose felt exhausted and was in a really bad mood. Apart from that, she needed a shower again. With the cauldron bubbling over the fire for hours on end, the dungeon room had become warmer and warmer and though Rose had already shed her student´s robes, her clothes stuck uncomfortable to her overheated skin, paired with the fumes thickening the air, she felt icky all over.  Thankfully Severus seemed equally done with today´s experiment. A soft pink tainted his cheeks while he scribbled without break on a piece of parchment with the recipe. His hair had long ended up in a ponytail which Rose couldn´t avoid to smile about every time she looked at Severus. Still, enough was enough.

“Severus, are we done already? It’s nearly midnight! We’re trying now for over three hours to get this damned experimental ‘you feel so much better detox shit infusion’ to work.” Rose shot him a murderous glare and flung herself into her favourite armchair, cramming a piece of chocolate into her mouth. Since they were a couple Severus had always chocolate stocked, just in case Rose needed a cheering up.

Severus massaged his temples then peered into the cauldron and at the recipe. From the original recipe was not much left with all the additions, scratched out parts and rewriting from the rewriting. But still it wouldn´t work. Though, he had no educated guess where he´d made a mistake, because that he´d made one was out of question.

“You know what? You are right. I can´t find the mistake. Most likely it´s a tiny miscalculation, but anyway. Let's stop here and go for a little walk.”

“Curfew?” Rose asked with raised brows.

“Honestly? You are with me. I´m still a Professor of this school, you remember?”

“Right.”

Coming up from the dungeons, they passed the entrance hall and with a flick of Severus´ wand the portal opened for them.

Wonderful fresh air greeted them as they strode casually over the lawns. Once out of direct eyesight from the castle, Severus took Rose´s hand.

“Could you imagine this evening with us two years ago?” Rose chuckled, shifting closer.

“Oh Salazar! I would have most probably strangled you after only 10 minutes.”

“I'm afraid you wouldn't have had the time for that because I would have hexed you right after you handed me the recipe with this ugly smirk of yours.”

Severus did her the favour and showed her that smirk, then pulled her close.

“Good that we're done with this stupidity,” he whispered into her ear, inhaling the scent of her hair.

“Oh, you think so?” Rose put her arms around his neck. “I wouldn´t cross that bridge.” She grinned.

“So?” Severus arched an eyebrow.

In one fluent motion he lifted her up and placed her on a nearby rock so they were on eyelevel. Rose giggled but stopped as Severus´ lips covered hers. Their kiss grew fast passionate and left them breathless and with racing hearts.

“Fancy a little midnight swimming?” Some cold water would be quite right to calm him down enough to not go for her right here and then.

Rose eyed the black water.

“I don´t know…This damn lake is bloody cold and what about the creatures? And I have nothing to change,” she said evasively.

“Don´t you wear underwear?” Severus smirked. It was not a bad thought at all.

“Of course I do! Stop grinning like a fool! But my underwear is white today and white and water is virtually transparent.”

“And that is a problem why?” he asked and if possible his grin even widened. “Not that I haven´t seen you already naked and besides that, are you a Witch or a Squib? Just change the colour when you need to wear something. And for the cold and horrible creatures…I can establish a ward around us. It keeps away whatever wants to eat you and keeps you warm. You just need to stay within a circle of three meters around me”

Rose muttered something under her breath.

“It´s ok when you don´t want, we can also just go back to the castle so you can go to bed,” he said and turned away.

“No!” Rose nearly screamed and grasped for his arm, pulling him close again.

“Good,” Severus laughed.

“The next time you call me a Squib I hex you into a bat,” Rose whispered at his lips, nipping them.

“Minerva would be proud…” he mumbled and closed his eyes as she ran her fingers through his hair, scratching lightly over his scalp. He loved when she did it. It made him relax more than he usually allowed himself, but it also kindled his desire for her what he actually tried to push away.

She didn´t stop stroking him and deepened their kiss. Eventually her fingers slid down over his neck to his chest. She began to unbutton the long row of his robe. As she finally had completed this task, she couldn't suppress a groan.

“Why for Merlin´s sake do you wear always so many layers with about 10,000 buttons?”

“Just to drive you crazy, darling…let me help you.” He smirked and flicked his wand so the remaining buttons plopped open. Rose shook her head in disbelieve. She pushed his robes down his arms and caressed softly his bare chest with her fingertips, tracing the crisscross of pale, silvery scars on even paler skin.

Quickening things, Severus took charge again. He undressed Rose within the blink of an eye down to her underwear and stepped out of his own trousers. Only in his underwear he took her hand. He brushed a small kiss on her lips and then led her to the lake. Like he had promised, he established a ward against the creatures and stepped into the chill water. He waded into the lake until the water reached his navel then he turned and looked back to Rose. She stood still on the very edge of the water, only her toes getting wet.

“Come on. Join me,” Severus called. He lifted his hands in a silent gesture of begging her closer.

Rose took a deep breath and stepped into the lake. As she was far enough in, she looked at Severus and dived. The water enveloped her in all its cold silence. She shivered, but it stopped after a few strong swim strokes. She saw Severus, pale in the surrounding darkness, and swam past him. She dived further and further until her lungs screamed for air. She knew she´d long left the protective wards and the creepy feeling of unknown creatures, waiting below her to pull her down, made her kick water faster until she broke through the surface, gasping for air.

Rose paddled on the spot and looked around. She was further out than she´d thought. She heard Severus' relieved gasp as he spotted her, striving to close the distance between them as fast as possible. Rose met him halfway and wrapped her arms around his neck as soon as he was close enough. She pulled him flush against her, only their paddling legs keeping them above the dark surface of the lake.

“Don´t do those things,” Severus whispered, almost agonised, against her lips. Rose gently nosed his cheek and then, turning the mood completely, nipped his bottom lip and dived with a giggle away.

She was not as fast or adept with swimming as she liked to be and Severus caught her effortless, holding her back. They sank under water. Rose managed to get free and resurfaced only for Severus to pull her back. They chased in this manner for some time through the lake, laughter and splashing of water sounding through the night. But slowly Rose tired and, more importantly, started shivering with cold. Severus came up behind her and wrapped his arms around her. His skin was as chill at the touch as was hers but he was warmer nonetheless, permeating warmth from within his body.

“You´re freezing,” Severus said and pulled her out of the water. They walked back to their clothes, but Rose stopped and tugged him back on his arm.

“Can´t we stay like this?” she asked, though her teeth clicked rhythmically with her quivering. Severus regarded her with a raised eyebrow.

“Incurably stubborn Gryffindor,” he muttered and, sighing, conjured two blankets. One of them, he spread on the ground. He dried himself and Rose with a charm and lay then down, with Rose at his side, covering them with the other blanket.

“That´s much better like this as with clothes,” Rose grinned and snuggled into his side. “Do you think someone heard us out here?” she asked and shifted, looking up at the cloudless sky, marvelling the velvety blackness, sprinkled with millions of twinkling stars.

“I´m not sure I particularly care if or if not someone heard us,” Severus said, astonishing himself with acknowledging the truth in his words.

“It´s beautiful,” Rose whispered, still gazing into the night sky.

“Yes, it is,” Severus said and peered at Rose, adding lowly, “I love you.”

Rose turned and pushed herself up on one elbow to have a better look at Severus. Her face glowed with a brilliant smile.

“I will never tire of hearing those words from you.”

Severus brought one hand up to her face, caressing her lips before he pulled her down, kissing her. Rose sighed contently and nestled back into Severus´ arms.

“I love you,” Severus repeated. “And I can´t remember how I ever managed not to. You make me weak in the best of ways and every minute I can´t be with you is meaningless and dreadful. If loving you means to burden myself with even more disapproval, guilt and shame I happily choose so forever and always again.”

Rose could not find any reply. Her throat was constricted with emotions. A silent tear escaped through the corner of her eye and slid down her temple, dropping on Severus´ chest. But Severus didn´t expect a reply. He tightened his arms around the woman he loved. “Gods, Rose. I´d do anything for you. Anything to keep you safe and happy. I promise you we´ll be fine. We´ll make it through everything, even confessing our love to your wretched guardian,” he trailed off and Rose chuckled softly.

“You promise me? We´ll tell everyone?”

Severus looked at her, flipping them around so he lay above her.

“I promise.” He closed the distance between them, kissing her until they were breathless, until their lips were red and swollen and the sun peaked, sending its first rays of light over the dew-damp grounds of Hogwarts.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And they lived happily ever after…or not?
> 
> So actually, this here was the official end, but then I had another idea and I noticed that I never dealt properly with Bellatrix and then I had to write this too and that again had certain turns and of course that resulted in new ideas. So in short: it´s going on.   
> Are you still with me?
> 
> Hope to see you in the next work! :)


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